Wait... What?

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red0207

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The four-month relationship that I was in just ended and I am just blown away. The man I was dating left me because I would not give into sex. He wrote me in an email that “my values are not his values” and that although he respects them, he doesn’t agree with all these rules. Instead, he said he “wants a relationship where he feels there aren’t that many rules.”

I KNOW that I dodged a bullet with this guy. I really do. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of heartbreak and loss. I remember him telling me he prayed to God to bring him a good woman into his life and he finally felt like God answered his prayers. He also said that although he knew I could provide for myself, he wanted to be able to support and provide for me. He often told me how much he looked forward to what the future held. He knew early on I did not want to have sex and he said he understood that, and that he would never pressure me to do something I wouldn’t want to do.

Right now, my ego is upset. I wonder if he will ever realize what he just let go. Since he broke up with me through email, I didn’t get the chance to ask him-- if you believe that God finally answered your prayers for a good woman, why on earth would you dump her because she chose to live a Godly way? Still trying to wrap my mind around this.

Thoughts?
 
The fact that he broke up with you by email shows how much class the guy had. I would not be surprised if he only said that bit about prayer in order to try and manipulate.
 
My thoughts are that since the relationship was not that far along anyway, he was telling you what he thought you wanted to hear. Who wouldn’t want to hear that you were the answer to their prayers? But it doesn’t mean they actually even prayed for it. No sex? Sure that sounded so good to on his part. He probably thought you would eventually change your mind, but then, you didn’t.

You are right, you dodged a bullet. Don’t even worry about why he said anything he said. Just try to move on, because in your heart, you know it wouldn’t work out. You will find someone that has the same values if you wait for him.

May God bless you and guide you.
 
He broke up with you through email because you wouldn’t have sex with him? He is not a man.
 
Aaron_Brrr said:
I would not be surprised if he only said that bit about prayer in order to try and manipulate.
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👍

He just said all those things to try to look like a good guy in the hopes of getting you to change your mind and sleep with him. A genuine man would never say those things when he first meets a woman

Angie
 
red0207 said:
The four-month relationship that I was in just ended and I am just blown away. The man I was dating left me because I would not give into sex. He wrote me in an email that “my values are not his values” and that although he respects them, he doesn’t agree with all these rules. Instead, he said he “wants a relationship where he feels there aren’t that many rules.”

I KNOW that I dodged a bullet with this guy. I really do. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of heartbreak and loss. I remember him telling me he prayed to God to bring him a good woman into his life and he finally felt like God answered his prayers. He also said that although he knew I could provide for myself, he wanted to be able to support and provide for me. He often told me how much he looked forward to what the future held. He knew early on I did not want to have sex and he said he understood that, and that he would never pressure me to do something I wouldn’t want to do.

Right now, my ego is upset. I wonder if he will ever realize what he just let go. Since he broke up with me through email, I didn’t get the chance to ask him-- if you believe that God finally answered your prayers for a good woman, why on earth would you dump her because she chose to live a Godly way? Still trying to wrap my mind around this.

Thoughts?
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In many cases, we may never know the real reasons for being dumped. Even if the issue is forced, it may make the situation worse.

The best thing you can do is block him from your life and move on.

You can do better than someone who whines about rules like a child.
 
Anglewannabe said:
👍

He just said all those things to try to look like a good guy in the hopes of getting you to change your mind and sleep with him. A genuine man would never say those things when he first meets a woman

Angie
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I agree. :yup: Telling her exactly what she wanted to hear to get her in the sack.
 
Smoke and mirrors, he probably googled advice from some PUA site/forum on how to pick-up christian women and “persuade” them… :rolleyes: Intersting that he held out for 4 months
 
“Dodged a bullet” is dead right.

Don’t waste any further thoughts or feelings on this jerk (beyond praying for him if you can muster the charity).
 
I remember you posting this a few weeks ago and I replied , as I said before he was chancing his arm in order to try to get you to go to bed with him, some men/women like a challenge aren’t you glad you did not let yourself down and more important God.
 
Red, God bless you for your courage and obedience to God. Sympathy for your hurt and for the thoughtless and discourteous way this man ended your friendship.
May God help you to heal positively and healthily, and in time find the man who will truly love you for who you are in entirety.
 
red0207 said:
The four-month relationship that I was in just ended and I am just blown away. The man I was dating left me because I would not give into sex. He wrote me in an email that “my values are not his values” and that although he respects them, he doesn’t agree with all these rules. Instead, he said he “wants a relationship where he feels there aren’t that many rules.”

I KNOW that I dodged a bullet with this guy. I really do. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of heartbreak and loss. I remember him telling me he prayed to God to bring him a good woman into his life and he finally felt like God answered his prayers. He also said that although he knew I could provide for myself, he wanted to be able to support and provide for me. He often told me how much he looked forward to what the future held. He knew early on I did not want to have sex and he said he understood that, and that he would never pressure me to do something I wouldn’t want to do.

Right now, my ego is upset. I wonder if he will ever realize what he just let go. Since he broke up with me through email, I didn’t get the chance to ask him-- if you believe that God finally answered your prayers for a good woman, why on earth would you dump her because she chose to live a Godly way? Still trying to wrap my mind around this.

Thoughts?
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It will hurt for a while, but I hope you will resist the urge to speak to him again.

I think he realizes what he let go but wants another kind of girl, one that will get into a sexual relationship without the benefit of marriage. Apparently, he isn’t interested in virtue. He seems to want all the benefits of a relationship without any of the responsibilities.

I hope you’ll be able to talk to someone about your feelings.
 
I think some number of guys theoretically like the idea of female chastity, but find it a pain in practice. They’d like you to be pure with everybody but them, so to speak.

Move on, keep busy, buy yourself a cute dress, take a girlfriend to a movie, and don’t think twice about him. Oh, and don’t email him, don’t call him, don’t text him, and block him from all appropriate social media.

Best wishes!
 
You are better off, which I realize that you already know. And I’m very sorry for the pain you are experiencing right now. The pain is still real even if you know that this is for the best. Big hugs for you… :grouphug:
 
red0207 said:
The four-month relationship that I was in just ended and I am just blown away. The man I was dating left me because I would not give into sex. He wrote me in an email that “my values are not his values” and that although he respects them, he doesn’t agree with all these rules. Instead, he said he “wants a relationship where he feels there aren’t that many rules.”

I KNOW that I dodged a bullet with this guy. I really do. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of heartbreak and loss. I remember him telling me he prayed to God to bring him a good woman into his life and he finally felt like God answered his prayers. He also said that although he knew I could provide for myself, he wanted to be able to support and provide for me. He often told me how much he looked forward to what the future held. He knew early on I did not want to have sex and he said he understood that, and that he would never pressure me to do something I wouldn’t want to do.

Right now, my ego is upset. I wonder if he will ever realize what he just let go. Since he broke up with me through email, I didn’t get the chance to ask him-- if you believe that God finally answered your prayers for a good woman, why on earth would you dump her because she chose to live a Godly way? Still trying to wrap my mind around this.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Because he was probably just saying that stuff to woo you and make you sleep with him. His true colors came out at the end. Sorry for the breakup, but I’m sure it’s for the best.
 
I had a similar experience as you did, but my ex-boyfriend broke up with me over the phone over my Christmas break from college while I was sick. Real class there. 🤷

In your case, I would recommend. letting him go. He clearly is not mature enough to understand the meaning of relationships, particularly romantic relationships. You did dodge a bullet, but you won’t be dodging it if you keep in contact with him.

So, one - let him go.

Two, you need to take care of yourself. I know it really hurts right now, so much that it hurts to breathe, but you will get through it. Reach out to your friends, find or pick up an old hobby, watch some movies, listen to some music.

Three, move on. This is the hardest step and it’s going to take some stumbling, but you will make it. You are a wonder and a woman with great integrity. Don’t ever let that go - you will find someone who will respect you.

I’ll be praying for you.
 
Well, it was definitely not in good taste for him to tell you through email. It appears as though he cares about sex more than he cares about you. You don’t need someone like that.
 
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