(wannabe) christian relationship

[angelinefromtx]

I haven’t posted for a while but I’m in need for other peoples perspectives on my relationship without actually talking to people face to face and breaking that personal and conservative aspect of our relationship.
So here I go:
Me and my boyfriend have been “official” for 4 months but we have been talking for a little over a year because I was afraid of what people think and what not (considering he is 10 years older than me 21,31) we had an awesome relationship at 1st we started of a bit rocky but then for around most our relationship we prayed the rosary together every day but then we just stopped we go to mass together and to church events together and usually just spend time together
My point is that this whole time of our relationship we’ve tried (and are trying) to not have sex before marriage (cause we are planning to get married) but we have fallen a couple of times (because we both struggle with that sin) when it comes to oral sex and ever since it happened the 1st time a few months ago I feel the relationship is ruined!! And that he’s not the one for me (even though I’m really happy with him and he’s a good man) like I feel that since we have been sexually intimate “Gods plan” is ruined and he is not my husband to be. Rather someone that I haven’t been intimate before marriage will be. If that makes sense. So can this be? Have there been relationships where they had been intimate before marriage and yet have a good marriage? Or is my realtionship over cause its not “perfect”

 

[1ke]

Go to confession and talk to your priest.

 

[E_7]

Talk to a priest, confess (repent).

how about a spiritual Retreat you could both attend?

Talk to your bf that u want to start over again and support each other by u guarding his purity and he yours. He doesn’t belong to you. You don’t belong to him. Therefore, you need to guard his purity for the one he’s going to marry. He must guard your purity for the one you’re going to get married to. You don’t belong to him cuz you’re not married yet.

Talk to him that you want your relationship with him to bring you closer to God. Not to lust (desire what God has forbidden).

He isn’t yours. You’re not his. Stop desiring what isn’t yours.

Hmmm. Why don’t you get married already?

The Bible says: “Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am, but each has a particular gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. Now to the unmarried and to widows, I say: it is a good thing for them to remain as they are, as I do, but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry, for it is better to marry than to be on fire.” ( 1 Corinthians 7:8-9)

 

[angelinefromtx]

Yes I’m planning to do that.
We try to “start over” but we always end up falling another thing is that it seems that I’m more affected by it than he is and I feel that it bothers me more than it bothers him and I hate that.
Anyways I’m still in college I have 2 years to go and he might get a better job cause he’s in no way financially ready and he still lives with his mom but yes that’s why we don’t marry yet
Which I feel like the only reason I’m “waiting” to get married is cause my dad told me to wait till I finish college

 

[E_7]

Yes I’m planning to do that.
We try to “start over” but we always end up falling another thing is that it seems that I’m more affected by it than he is and I feel that it bothers me more than it bothers him and I hate that.
Anyways I’m still in college I have 2 years to go and he might get a better job cause he’s in no way financially ready and he still lives with his mom but yes that’s why we don’t marry yet
Which I feel like the only reason I’m “waiting” to get married is cause my dad told me to wait till I finish college

I ended my previous relationship not because I wanted to but because I knew that it was the right thing to do. I had to do it for our sake, for the best.

If, in the end, you decide not to end the relationship, try thinking that Christ, the one who died for you and got humiliated and laughed at, is right beside you watching you committing sin and there you are turning your back on Him. Is that how u demonstrate your love for Him? Is that how you obey Him and respect Him? Think like that, fear Him. Don’t fall to temptation, scream His name.

God loves you that’s why he sent Jesus to die for you so u can be forgiven through Him (quoted from a song) I bet He has a great man out there just for you. Be patience and pray, talk to Him, walk your way through holiness.

Make the right decision, know that the best way is HIS.

 

[Andre1000]

My point is that this whole time of our relationship we’ve tried (and are trying) to not have sex before marriage (cause we are planning to get married) but we have fallen a couple of times (because we both struggle with that sin) when it comes to oral sex and ever since it happened the 1st time a few months ago I feel the relationship is ruined!! And that he’s not the one for me (even though I’m really happy with him and he’s a good man) like I feel that since we have been sexually intimate “Gods plan” is ruined and he is not my husband to be. Rather someone that I haven’t been intimate before marriage will be. If that makes sense. So can this be? Have there been relationships where they had been intimate before marriage and yet have a good marriage? Or is my realtionship over cause its not “perfect”

As far as I know God wants you to marry someone if you had sex with him.
The point of marriage is that we only have sex with one person, so God wants that you don’t change you partner but if you leave him then you change you partner.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 is a little bit related to this issue,

So marry him as soon as possible!

Sorry for my English and God bless.