Want to confess but not sure how to do it

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LaughingBoy1503

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Here is my problem.

How do you go about confessing a sin that you did a long time ago that at the time you committed that sin, you judged that it was not a sin or at the least a venial sin so not necessary to confess. But then later, several confessions later and countless communions later you change your mind and think you should have confessed that sin?

I am trying to think how I would go about confessing this to a priest and it just sounds so complex. I am not even sure that these things I want to confess are certainly mortal sins so I am bound to tell the priest that they are doubtful sins. Do I also have to tell the priest how many times I have received communion since then? One of these sins from the past was about 2 years ago! I like to go to daily Mass sometimes too. So I cannot just say “52 weeks in in a year x 2 = 104” or something similar. I know the number does not have to be exact but I guess my question is do I have to make a estimate at all in this case?

I know the sins from my past are still forgiven because I have certainly made at least one good confession since them, but now that they weigh more heavily on my conscience, I want to confess them. I think I am obligated to also. Can anyone make sense of my ramblings and give me some (name removed by moderator)ut? Something other than “ask a priest” would be nice too :o thank you.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Here is my problem.

How do you go about confessing a sin that you did a long time ago that at the time you committed that sin, you judged that it was not a sin or at the least a venial sin so not necessary to confess.
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“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. A number of years ago, I did X/Y/Z. At the time, I didn’t think it was a serious sin. Today, I’m not so sure. So, I wanted to confess it, just so that I would be certain that God forgives me for this.”
 
KISS- keep it simple silly

Tell the priest the sin, that you did not think it was serious at the time and how many times you committed that sin. Let the priest direct you where to go from there. Even the newest priest fresh out of formation is going to know what to make of this, but if not, they will know what questions to ask to get the information they need. Don’t obscure the issue with too much information.
 
Gorgias said:
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. A number of years ago, I did X/Y/Z. At the time, I didn’t think it was a serious sin. Today, I’m not so sure. So, I wanted to confess it, just so that I would be certain that God forgives me for this.”
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THIS^^^

Don’t over think it. Just do it.
God bless.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
So, how do I make a general confession? Convert here. only been Catholic for 2 years. Do not know how.
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You can ask the priest and he will go through it with you. He’ll be familiar with it - it’s commonly done by people who have been away from the Church for a long time (who may have forgotten almost everything about confession! :))

But I think Gorgias’s response is even better.
 
How do you go about confessing a sin that you did a long time ago that at the time you committed that sin, you judged that it was not a sin or at the least a venial sin so not necessary to confess. But then later, several confessions later and countless communions later you change your mind and think you should have confessed that sin?
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I was in a similar situation this year because I just returned to the church after 30 years. When I was examining my conscious before my first confession since returning, I was shocked at all the mortal sins I committed and didn’t even know it. Every time I would list another mortal sin that I was going to confess, I just shook my head and thought “how could I be so ignorant?”

When I went into confession I told the priest, “Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been over 30 years since my last confession”. I even took a piece of paper listing all my sins because I didn’t want to forget any. I didn’t mention that I didn’t know at the time I was committing a sin, mortal or venial and I didn’t say the number of times I committed each sin because I couldn’t remember each instance. I just went through my list and confessed EVERYTHING I could remember. I just imagined myself talking directly to God which is probably why I broke down crying. God knows what is in your heart. Don’t over think it.
 
Well I went ahead with the confession. Now I am distraught over something else though. Father told me to receive communion when in doubt is a Mortal sin. But I have heard that if I am in doubt, it is ok to receive. A apologist on this site even said it is okay. I am always in doubt if I am worthy to receive. I think I am scrupulous. If I must be 100% sure I am in a state of grace before I receive then I am afraid I will never be able to. I feel so messed up about it.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Well I went ahead with the confession. Now I am distraught over something else though. Father told me to receive communion when in doubt is a Mortal sin. But I have heard that if I am in doubt, it is ok to receive. A apologist on this site even said it is okay. I am always in doubt if I am worthy to receive. I think I am scrupulous. If I must be 100% sure I am in a state of grace before I receive then I am afraid I will never be able to. I feel so messed up about it.
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When dealing with possible scrupulosity, one should always listen to the priest. Your judgment of the sin may be impaired because of the scrupulosity. Listen and obey the priest.
 
Laughing Boy,

My advise as a fellow (extremely) scrupulous person is to choose ONE confessor you feel understands YOU the best and has experience with scrupulosity. Pick the one who is kind and understanding and willing to help you overcome this. I know how hard this condition can be and it is truly something I know we suffer with every single day… And the worst thing is thinking we will probably suffer with this until death. But the only way is to renounce your own ideas about sin and unconditionally follow your confessors lead. This will be difficult and at times you will probably FEEL that the advise you are following will send you to hell. I am struggling to follow my own confessors advise at the moment as well and it’s a constant battle to ignore the doubts and fears. To this day I still feel as if I’m going to hell and I do get upset that I haven’t confessed a sin the way I wanted to because of embarrassment but my confessor has forbid me from ever mentioning it so I have the fear of a bad confession or the fear of disobeying the voice of God!

So I do really understand your struggle.
 
I see you are in California, perhaps call the Nornertine religious order for an appoinent to discuss spiritual direction?
 
TravisandJill has given you the correct answer. In my family we are dealing with this with my 13 year old granddaughter, I know how difficult it is. She becomes very confused when she is given different answers or what she perceives are different answers. It is not good for her to confess to different priests or to confess too frequently. She becomes very anxious about sin and hell, and also is obsessive and worrisome about many other things in her life, and is receiving general therapy for the problem, which really interferes with her happiness. Her mother has limited her to confessions once a month.

I hope you can find some peace here, because this is no fun to live with.
 
TravisandJill said:
Laughing Boy,

My advise as a fellow (extremely) scrupulous person is to choose ONE confessor you feel understands YOU the best and has experience with scrupulosity. Pick the one who is kind and understanding and willing to help you overcome this. I know how hard this condition can be and it is truly something I know we suffer with every single day… And the worst thing is thinking we will probably suffer with this until death. But the only way is to renounce your own ideas about sin and unconditionally follow your confessors lead. This will be difficult and at times you will probably FEEL that the advise you are following will send you to hell. I am struggling to follow my own confessors advise at the moment as well and it’s a constant battle to ignore the doubts and fears. To this day I still feel as if I’m going to hell and I do get upset that I haven’t confessed a sin the way I wanted to because of embarrassment but my confessor has forbid me from ever mentioning it so I have the fear of a bad confession or the fear of disobeying the voice of God!

So I do really understand your struggle.
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I feel your pain too. I am okay now but it was incredible how messed up this situation got me the first 24 hours after that confession. I know I was really messed up because I eat to comfort myself. But when I am REALLY worried about something, I lose my appetite and that is rare. I went 24 hours with only eating one slim jim and drinking one Gatorade when I normally eat chilly cheese fries and nachos and carne asada all weekend.

I know I need a confessor. A good one. I think Father meant well but when I asked him “What if one is scrupulous” he told me that to be scrupulous is someone who trys really hard to please God. That may be true but that is not the answer any scrupulous person that knows that they are scrupulous would give. I almost gave up this weekend but I made it through by the grace of God. God bless you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. Imagine if one day we stand face to face with Jesus and he tells us we worried to much but that he understood and wants us to spend eternity with him. That is what keeps me going. That hope.
 
TravisandJill said:
I see you are in California, perhaps call the Nornertine religious order for an appoinent to discuss spiritual direction?
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Do you mean The Norbertines? Yes, I know of them. Saint Michaels abbey. A Norbertine priest use to say Mass at our parish sometimes but then he got transferred to assist another parish. Perhaps I will consider that. Thank you.
 
CB_Catholic said:
TravisandJill has given you the correct answer. In my family we are dealing with this with my 13 year old granddaughter, I know how difficult it is. She becomes very confused when she is given different answers or what she perceives are different answers. It is not good for her to confess to different priests or to confess too frequently. She becomes very anxious about sin and hell, and also is obsessive and worrisome about many other things in her life, and is receiving general therapy for the problem, which really interferes with her happiness. Her mother has limited her to confessions once a month.

I hope you can find some peace here, because this is no fun to live with.
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Poor girl. It is rough for me as a 30 year old man. It has literally brought me to tears. And I am a rough man. Construction worker. Ex felon. I cannot imagine how rough it is for a little girl. I sometimes even doubt that I am scrupulous. I worry that I am just using that as a excuse to excuse myself from some sin. But… then I can certainly see that I am not normal in some way. The majority of people do not seem to struggle with the obsession over sin that I do. Prayer said for your granddaughter. Also the other poster dealing with Scrupulosity.
 
Thank everyone who gave me helpful advice. I emailed my parish priest and asked for his opinion on the subject. I will see what he says. The worst advice I have gotten from a priest about being scrupulous is “Try to not be so scrupulous” That is like telling someone having a panic attack to “try to calm down” lol I will see how it goes this time.
 
It’s tough, but you seem to have it all together, good luck,
 
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