Want to forget past abuse again

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PaulScotus

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Today has been like several days have been in the past year for me since telling my wife about abuse that I suffered in my early teen years. Since revealing those memories to her, memories that I thought I had completely suppressed, I have had days in which more detailed memories just come into my mind and are hard to shake. I’m a well adjusted, self-actualized, professional husband and father who has come a long way after a tough, early life. I’m not overly depressed or overly taxed by this new recollection of my teen years and the abuse I was subjected to. I guess I just needed to vent? I don’t know why I mention it now that I have. At any rate, anyone who has been abused at any point in their lives, no matter what kind of abuse they suffered, I will pray for you today. The rosary that I pray this evening will be for you. Peace be with you.
 
I did from a family’s trusted relative, and yes it does seems to come back later.
Maybe having dealt with it whatever way possible when young, we need to deal with it again in a more mature way later? As I child I finally shrieked at the top of my voice and scared the coward. He also left my sister alone after that. Where that scream came from I don’t know. It wasn’t planned, but a grace. I praise and thank God for that prolonged shriek that scared this predator that made him realize he could be uncovered.

However more recently I’ve had to deal with it as a mature adult, seeing even more clearly the injustice and betrayal, and as a child I never did tell anyone, and the person died without ever being discovered in his abuse of an innocent child. I pray for his soul.
But I think we do need to deal with it at a later time if not adequately as a child, The anger and the realization comes in full. God help you and all of us to heal, and also to pray for the one(s) who sinned against us.
 
PaulScotus said:
Today has been like several days have been in the past year for me since telling my wife about abuse that I suffered in my early teen years. Since revealing those memories to her, memories that I thought I had completely suppressed, I have had days in which more detailed memories just come into my mind and are hard to shake. I’m a well adjusted, self-actualized, professional husband and father who has come a long way after a tough, early life. I’m not overly depressed or overly taxed by this new recollection of my teen years and the abuse I was subjected to. I guess I just needed to vent? I don’t know why I mention it now that I have. At any rate, anyone who has been abused at any point in their lives, no matter what kind of abuse they suffered, I will pray for you today. The rosary that I pray this evening will be for you. Peace be with you.
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I offer a prayer for you and all who were/are abused. God Bless you and give you the grace to forgive your abuser.
 
AussieTrish and 808Catholic,

I’m in awe of the idea that you would both pray for the abusers. When I read your posts, that request would have brought me to my knees had I not already been sitting. Maybe it’s because I am new to the Catholic faith, maybe it’s because I’m not as good a person as I thought I was or maybe it’s because I’ve been guarding myself for so long from those memories, but I have never thought of forgiving the 2 people who, for a 2 year period, almost wrecked the rest of my entire life. I frequently remind my children to love their neighbor as themselves as Jesus has and still loves us. But, it just never occurred to me to care enough about those people to pray for them. Wow. Thank you. I feel it slipping away now. The blame and the accusation I have had for them. And I feel Jesus’s mercy for us all.

Peace be with you both and to anyone who is merciful to those who hurt others.
 
Paul it doesn’t mean we didn’t feel anger. It’s healthy to acknowledge how betrayed and angry we feel, even if only to God, talking to Him about it all. Otherwise we’re papering over our real feelings and the crack is still there under the paper. Those persons are our enemies, and our feelings are very real in response, but love at bottom, is about choices.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:43-44
‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.”
But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."
We may not be able to “feel love” for these people,
but our love in in the choice to pray for them, because that is the greatest charity we can offer, and it could be the only way they will receive the final grace of repentance. Perhaps no one else ever prayed for them. And who better to ask God’s mercy for them than those who have much to forgive them?

Last week I had a real burst of anger about an injustice of several years ago. A person’s arrogance and wrongful judgements caused a great injustice to me some years ago. Why did the hurt and anger suddenly return? I wrote down all my hurt and anger before God in the middle of the night. I wondered if he was still alive and checked on the internet. He had just died a week before. Now he knew how wrong he’d been. Was my sudden hurt and anger part of his recognizing his sin against me? I had prayed for him that he would not have punishment after his death, but that the harm he did could be righted. The past harm can’t be undone. It happened. But hopefully God will heal the damage? Whether or not, I’m glad if my prayers helped his soul.

God bless you and your family,
Trish
 
You have inspired me to Pray for those people for the first time in my life Trish. Thank you for your insight and for sharing some of your own experiences with forgiveness, even in the face of emotions such as anger. When I initially began this post I was angry and a bit remorseful among some other emotions. But was never forgiving. I no longer hated, which is what I had felt at many points in my life, but was not considering forgiving. Thank you and peace be with you.
 
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