Want to join the Knights of Columbus, but not sure if this will be an issue?

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lonegreywolf20 said:

“You know what, it’s not worth it. I will have to seriously rethink my staying in the catholic church.”

And how is leaving the Church going to fix your very serious marital problems? Will leaving the Church make your wife listen to you or respect you or get treatment for her depression or fix your ankle or get you a job?

The Church is not your problem.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
I know that i am having marital issues, I am interested in joining the KoC, but I’m not sure if I would be allowed since my marriage is currently not recognized by the Catholic church.

I met my wife while I was away from the church for 25 years (I rebelled in my teens) and we were married by the local courthouse and two days later, a non-Denominational pastor. I have since returned to the church of my youth and am proud to call it home.

My wife is in support of me going back to the Catholic church, as well as joining the KoC, but she doesn’t believe that we need to have our marriage recognized by the Catholic church and sees it as pleasing man, as God is already pleased and blesses our marriage. So she is resistant to having the church recognize our marriage.

So, would I be able to join the KoC or am I out-of-luck till a miracle happens and she allows the church to recognize our marriage?
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Speak to your priest and the head of the KoC in your parish. I’m sure they won’t think its a “waste of their time” even if you can’t join.

As far as your wife not wanting to have your marriage recognized by the Church, try explaining to her how it is important to you. Don’t beat her over the head with it or tell her that the marriage isn’t valid. Don’t threaten to live as “brother and sister.” Just explain that your Catholic Faith is important to you and that one of the things you need to do to be in full communion with your Church is to have a very easy, short ceremony. She needn’t dress up. It doesn’t have to be in a Mass. There doesn’t need to be any guest invited. It takes nothing away from you wedding day. It is just something you need to do to be in communion with your Church. Any loving, considerate spouse should be fine if you present it the right way.

God bless.
 
1ke said:
Regarding the KCs, I don’t see why not.

As to your marriage situation, I urge you to talk to your pastor about radical sanation. This will validate your marriage in the Church without new exchange of consent. And if your wife has serious issues, this can be done without her participation or even her knowledge.
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“Nothing about her, without her”.
Your wife has concerns, they need to be listened to. I don’t know what “radical sanation” is, but no matter what it is, don’t initiate anything other than prayer without her knowledge and - at least - consent.
God’s time is not our time.
I am a Knight active in my Council, but I’m also a husband. There’s no doubt which is more important in the eyes of the K of C.
Prayer is the most important thing.
I don’t know if she has opinions one way or the other about you becoming a Knight, but just want make sure her (name removed by moderator)ut is considered. You can live a life consistent with the ideals of the K of C, but all your organizational memberships need to be cleared with her - (except that you need the other sacraments.)
 
commenter said:
“Nothing about her, without her”.
Your wife has concerns, they need to be listened to. I don’t know what “radical sanation” is, but no matter what it is, don’t initiate anything other than prayer without her knowledge and - at least - consent.
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Being a good KC, loyal to the Church, you should have no problem with radical sanation which is the Church’s remedy for situations exactly such as this.
 
1ke said:
Being a good KC, loyal to the Church, you should have no problem with radical sanation which is the Church’s remedy for situations exactly such as this.
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As I said earlier, my wife would see that as betrayal, whether or not I told her.

Her wishes are that I do not conform to man’s rules, when it comes to religion.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
As I said earlier, my wife would see that as betrayal, whether or not I told her.

Her wishes are that I do not conform to man’s rules, when it comes to religion.
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But what do you think ? What do you want ? Only you can answer that yourself. Is it only mans rules or Gods.

I hope you also consider your religious needs and obligations. They may not be the same as hers, but you certainly should be free to fully practice your religion to its fullest. This will only help you and her both.
 
SED said:
But what do you think ? Is it only mans rules or Gods.

They may not be the same as hers, but you certainly should be free to fully practice your religion to its fullest. This will only help you and her both.
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She does not see it as helping us. She does not agree with the Catholic church. So therefore, it’s rules mean nothing to her, even if I feel that they will benefit the two of us. If it’s not in the Bible, than it’s man made and does not please God.

That is why she will not go through a con-validation ceremony. It does not say in the Bible that the Catholic church has to approve of a marriage. Therefore, the Catholic church’s approval means nothing to her.
 
It seems rather contradictory that you wife supports you returning to the Catholic Faith, but is firmly opposed to you following the marriage laws of the Church.

The reason for you to return to the Church is that it is founded by Christ and you wish to be in communion with him.

As a Catholic you are bound by the marriage laws of the Church. The marriage needs to be convalidated. As mentioned before, radical sanation cures the marital defect at the root, and is the ideal solution if your wife is not willing to reaffirm your marriage vows through a convalidation.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
She does not see it as helping us. She does not agree with the Catholic church. So therefore, it’s rules mean nothing to her, even if I feel that they will benefit the two of us. If it’s not in the Bible, than it’s man made and does not please God.

That is why she will not go through a con-validation ceremony. It does not say in the Bible that the Catholic church has to approve of a marriage. Therefore, the Catholic church’s approval means nothing to her.
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You’ve stated everything she thinks many times. But I was asking what “you” think ?

Give it your true thoughts, and prayers, and I believe you will have he answers you are looking for. I wish the best for you no matter what you choose for yourself. I understand this isn’t an easy thing, be patient with yourself, and be true to yourself.

God Bless you.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
As I said earlier, my wife would see that as betrayal, whether or not I told her.

Her wishes are that I do not conform to man’s rules, when it comes to religion.
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She wants you to conform to her rules, which are not God’s rules.
 
JimG said:
She wants you to conform to her rules, which are not God’s rules.
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She doesn’t see the Catholic church’s teaching as God’s rules, but rather man’s, so these aren’t her rules, but what she considers to be God’s rules, which is not to conform to man’s rules when it comes to religion.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
She doesn’t see the Catholic church’s teaching as God’s rules, but rather man’s, so these aren’t her rules, but what she considers to be God’s rules, which is not to conform to man’s rules when it comes to religion.
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Nevertheless, she considers her rules as the correct interpretation of God’s rules. Her rules in effect take precedence of the Church that Christ established to carry on his mission.

If she does not believe we should conform to 'man’s rules in religion, then there can be no religion, since every religion has rules that are handed down by man. Even Unitarians have rules.
 
SED said:
You’ve stated everything she thinks many times. But I was asking what “you” think ?

Give it your true thoughts, and prayers, and I believe you will have he answers you are looking for. I wish the best for you no matter what you choose for yourself. I understand this isn’t an easy thing, be patient with yourself, and be true to yourself.

God Bless you.
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What I think doesn’t matter in the scheme of things to be honest. However, what I think is that I need to keep my home a peaceful one for the sake of my daughter. That means not doing the radical sanation because that will just create even more turmoil in the home. If it means never doing a convalidation, then that’s what it means.

At this point I don’t care either way anymore.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:

“She does not see it as helping us. She does not agree with the Catholic church. So therefore, it’s rules mean nothing to her, even if I feel that they will benefit the two of us. If it’s not in the Bible, than it’s man made and does not please God.”

What would she say if you said, “This is really important to me, honey,” or “This means a lot to me” or “This would give me peace of mind” or “my conscience is telling me I need to do this.”

You could even ask for this as your gift for Christmas or your birthday. A woman would have to have a heart of stone to say no in that situation. (With the necessary caveat that if you don’t wish to be bound to this woman for life, don’t do it.)

I’m sure you can see that her position on things being in the Bible is ridiculously hard line. Your whole life is full of things that aren’t in the Bible: movable type, automobiles, vaccinations, doctors, wedding rings, electricity, diplomas, police departments, ambulance service, compulsory schooling, internet, air conditioning, refrigeration, etc.

I agree with JimG who said, “She wants you to conform to her rules, which are not God’s rules.” That seems to be exactly the case. She sounds really hard-headed.

The funny thing is that the theological flavor that she seems to belong to is usually very gung-ho about male headship, wifely submission, etc, while at the same time, there’s not a lot of wifely submission going on at your house (at least based on your description). I’m not saying that there ought to be, but I think she’s having her cake and eating it too in a big way.
 
Xantippe said:
lonegreywolf20 said:

“She does not see it as helping us. She does not agree with the Catholic church. So therefore, it’s rules mean nothing to her, even if I feel that they will benefit the two of us. If it’s not in the Bible, than it’s man made and does not please God.”

What would she say if you said, “This is really important to me, honey,” or “This means a lot to me” or “This would give me peace of mind” or “my conscience is telling me I need to do this.”

You could even ask for this as your gift for Christmas or your birthday. A woman would have to have a heart of stone to say no in that situation. (With the necessary caveat that if you don’t wish to be bound to this woman for life, don’t do it.)
.
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It wouldn’t matter if I said those things. She sees it as going against God.

When I say it’s not in the Bible, I’m talking about things like the Catholic church having to validate our marriage. Things such as that. She is sola scriptura.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
What I think doesn’t matter in the scheme of things to be honest. However, what I think is that I need to keep my home a peaceful one for the sake of my daughter. That means not doing the radical sanation because that will just create even more turmoil in the home. If it means never doing a convalidation, then that’s what it means.

At this point I don’t care either way anymore.
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I think you have your answer then.
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
It wouldn’t matter if I said those things. She sees it as going against God.

When I say it’s not in the Bible, I’m talking about things like the Catholic church having to validate our marriage. Things such as that. She is sola scriptura.
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Not to harp on the point, but there is also nothing in the bible about being required to marry before a judge, or a non-denominational minister, both of which she has already accepted. It’s only reaffirming those same vows before a Catholic priest that she sees as going against God?
 
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