“I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. Love is not blood and suffering. Love is not murdering your son to appease your own vanity. Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules. Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward. True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being.”
This quote horrifies me. Ian, throw that book away! That author has a starved spirit. I’ll pray for him.
“Love is not self denial.” So then, it’s OK for me to hop in bed with anyone who attracts me, as long as I still love my husband? WRONG. Self-denial is part of love. In fact, it is the every-day part of love. We are always making little sacrifices for our loved ones. And sometimes big sacrifices.
“Love is not blood and suffering.” So those who are killed or wounded in defense of their loved ones are just masochists, I guess. WRONG. Blood and suffering, at least the willingness to suffer them if necessary, is part of love. (If it weren’t, the species would have died out long ago - delivering a baby involves blood and suffering - and love.)
“Love not murdering your son to appease your own vanity.” How banal. What a misjudgement of God! The love of someone whose son or spouse volunteers for service in Iraq, for instance, doesn’t come from vanity. It comes from love which includes self-denial, which includes the possibility of suffering the loved one’s death. God sacrificed His son, with the Son’s consent, out of love for us. We really can’t comprehend God’s love for us, it is beyond our ability to understand.
“Love is not hatred or wrath, consigning billions of people to eternal torture because they have offended your ego or disobeyed your rules.” Poor author. He must have had one of those “hellfire and brimstone” upbringings, or had the kind of parents who use the threat of a vindictive God, who writes down every little thing you do wqrong and holds it all against you, as a handy way to elicit obedience.
God wants all of us to be saved. It is not His fault if we choose Hell, which is what we do when we commit a mortal sin. After all, Jesus laid down His life for us. That’s not the sacrifice of a vindictive god.
“Love is not obedience, conformity, or submission. It is a counterfeit love that is contingent upon authority, punishment, or reward.” True, but since God wants to save all souls, he allows salvation by fear as well as salvation by love. He will use any tool on us humans except one that removes our free will.
"True love is respect and admiration, compassion and kindness, freely given by a healthy, unafraid human being.” Yeah, respect and admiration, compassion and kindness are part of love. And, yes, it should be freely given. But restricting it to those who are healthy and unafraid is WRONG. That would imply that I can not love, since I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and bipolar disease. Unafraid - humph. Think a man whose wife is in labor is unafraid? Think a woman whose husband has cancer is unafraid?
That author seems to think that love can only happen out in the sunlight, under the best conditions. He is WRONG.
I’m with felra - if you want the closest to Godly love that a mere human can aspire to, read 1 Cor 13.
I don’t apply it perfectly; not at all! I try to practice it in my imperfect way. And guess what? My life is full of love, in spite of my self-denial, suffering, and bad health.