Wanting encouragement - is it a sin?

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Is wanting encouragement or affirmation from another person a sin? Isn’t it thinking of oneself or some kind of self-love? So, for example, if one seeks to have a spiritual director, aren’t they doing it to better themselves? Is this self-love?

I struggle from this because I would like to hear the words, “you’re doing a good job” or something of that sort. Through faith, I know that God loves me. In my human weakness, I still want to be approved of and encouraged by other persons.

Any ideas on this?

Thanks for your help.

houston1
 
I am not sure why you would think that loving yourself, or enjoying affirmation from another is a sin. I am truly puzzled.
 
1ke said:
I am not sure why you would think that loving yourself, or enjoying affirmation from another is a sin. I am truly puzzled.
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Thanks for your reply. I guess I’m really seeking a definition of self-love. Let’s say, for example, you choose to do something that is good like going to daily Mass or doing some kind of charitable work and you are aware that it makes you look “holy” to others. And, suppose you begin doing these things and you suddenly discover that you desire to be seen by certain persons (although you don’t want the desire - there’s just feelings). Is this sort of thing self-love or any kind of sin of pride?

Any thoughts on this would be helpful. Thanks for your help.

houston1
 
houston1 said:
Thanks for your reply. I guess I’m really seeking a definition of self-love. Let’s say, for example, you choose to do something that is good like going to daily Mass or doing some kind of charitable work and you are aware that it makes you look “holy” to others. And, suppose you begin doing these things and you suddenly discover that you desire to be seen by certain persons (although you don’t want the desire - there’s just feelings). Is this sort of thing self-love or any kind of sin of pride?

Any thoughts on this would be helpful. Thanks for your help.

houston1
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It’s probably an issue of pride- looking outwardly pious. Talk to your priest if you need extra clarification.

(And, don’t be too hard on yourself. 😉 God Bless!)
 
Houston,

I like your question and I was actually pondering this myself lately - the very question of whether I want a spiritual director because I sincerely desire spiritual direction or because I need some affirmation that what I am doing is good (or wow, you’re doing a lot, that’s great!) 😉

I do think there is a level of pride involved - esp. if I think I’m doing “a lot” that makes me holy and therefore, I can rest on my laurels or something.

SO, I tried to turn it around. AM I doing a lot? To what extent am I doing the things I do? And why am I so caught up about what I’m DOING? Isn’t it about what Christ did & is doing??

Affirmation is a tricky thing - I think to some extent, we do need those moments of encouragement where someone tells us, ‘good job’ - and other times that we might be looking for it as validation of our humanity.

Humility is not thinking less of our selves - it is thinking of our selves less (cool, huh? not mine, but don’t know who to credit.)

Perhaps just some time with Jesus asking him how he sees you - good, honest self-reflection can actually help us see our sins & defects. And remember - the commandment is to love others as we love ourselves - so self-love is not a sin - but being self-absorbed is.

Humility is also not “look what I’m doing!!” -but, “what more can I do for you Lord?”

:o
 
You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you! --Stuart Smally

Seriously though, Jesus was about hope and encouragement. Paul was constantly encouraging the early Church. Barnabus was called the Son of Encouragement. The point is that we all need it sometimes and that is fine. Now I would say that if you are a needy, clingy, insecure person, then maybe you should go get some help with that because you are bringing others down with your anxieties.
 
onjac, Fizendell, and coachfan1,

Thanks for all your replies. They are all logical. We all do need encouragement from time to time and God can use his people on earth to encourage us. I’m not going to scruple about this anymore.

coachfan1, I’m glad you mentioned Paul and Barnabus. I have been reading Paul’s letters lately and I guess I didn’t notice at the time your point that Paul encouraged the early church. We are all the body of Christ and I guess we need to comfort each other when one of us is suffering. God can use signal graces through nature to encourage us. Why wouldn’t he also use his people?🤷

Ironically, isn’t it the purpose of CAF to guide and encourage one another?
 
Sometimes it can be tricky to strike a balance. I would suggest to offer up any times that you might have liked recognition but did not receive it - to have faith that God saw what you did for His Glory. 🙂 Read the 6th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel - this is the way not to go about it - if you steer clear of that, you should be safe! 😉
 
3DOCTORS said:
Sometimes it can be tricky to strike a balance. I would suggest to offer up any times that you might have liked recognition but did not receive it - to have faith that God saw what you did for His Glory. 🙂 Read the 6th chapter of Matthew’s Gospel - this is the way not to go about it - if you steer clear of that, you should be safe! 😉
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Thanks. I just read Mt. 6. I will be mindful of this. Thanks for sharing.

houston1
 
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