Wanting to be close to Him

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Monica4316

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I know that we should not seek consolations or visions or anything but loving God and doing His will. And that spiritual fruit counts more than spiritual experiences.

I try to follow this…I used to ask God for consolations but now I dont anymore. No matter how good something is, I don’t think we should want it if it’s not what He wants for us (at least, this is the attitude I’m trying to live by, though I fail at it still.) It’s better to suffer doing God’s will than to enjoy His presence and receiving supernatural favours while being self willed.

but…
and this is something that I’ve never really talked about, but somehow it’s easier to say on a forum, lol…

Sometimes I just really long to be near Jesus and to actually see Him. I keep on thinking what it would be like… what He would be like. It’s interesting how the Person we love most, or try to love most, in the whole world, is the one we’ve never seen! That’s such an evidence of God’s grace and power. We knowt hat even though we’ve never seen Him, He is not a stranger… we receive Him into ourselves in Communion… the relationship between Christ and a person is perhaps the most intimate one there is in our lives. He knows everything about us.

Yet most of us will only see Him after this life. I think we will recognize Him… we would not need to ask, “who are you?”. We’ll know.

And I keep on thinking what that moment will be like. The Saints who have seen Jesus give us an idea… love, humility, peace, joy, reverence… but this description doesn’t quite capture it. I’ve been reading that other thread… on what’s it like to feel God’s presence. Even here on aerth, in our present form, it’s already overwhelming! And Heaven…!?

The first time I ever felt close to God, I just started crying. I had been a Christian for some time already when it happened. I never thought knowing God would be more than theoretical. But suddenly there He was! I think it’s impossible not to love Him back affter He shows His love to us (and think, that is only a tiny bit of His love!) He really captures our hearts.

And yet we’ve never seen Him!
What does He look like?
what’s it like to be in His embrace? to talk to Him?
to just kneel before Him?

sometimes I want this so much, yet I know I need to wait. The Saints were so blessed to have these visions. But we know that “blessed are they who have not seen yet believed” 🙂

Often when Jesus seems to stay at a distance from us (emphasis on the word ‘seems’), and lets us experience only dryness in prayer, that is when we grow most. And we learn to want to be with Him and to love Him.

How happy must be the souls in Heaven 🙂

…this life…it’s just here so that we can learn to love Him…and prepare our hearts and souls for what is to come…and learn to be truly loving people…to God and to neighbour. It’s learning to be a “good and faithful servant” I think… what do you think?

Sometimes i also wonder…is it alright to want to meet Jesus so much? is it a distraction, or the opposite? it seems to encourage me to love Him more.

…and now I have this thought…how close He is at Adoration…even more so, at Communion! it’s the only thing that’s ever really helped. When I receive the Eucharist, I just feel at peace. I don’t see Jesus, but He is physically inside me - and I don’t understand that, but somehow it is true. What a perfect time to give Him consolation.

How He loves us! 🙂

feel free to share any thoughts…
 
Monica4316 said:
I know that we should not seek consolations or visions or anything but loving God and doing His will. And that spiritual fruit counts more than spiritual experiences.

I try to follow this…I used to ask God for consolations but now I dont anymore. No matter how good something is, I don’t think we should want it if it’s not what He wants for us (at least, this is the attitude I’m trying to live by, though I fail at it still.) It’s better to suffer doing God’s will than to enjoy His presence and receiving supernatural favours while being self willed.

but…
and this is something that I’ve never really talked about, but somehow it’s easier to say on a forum, lol…

Sometimes I just really long to be near Jesus and to actually see Him. I keep on thinking what it would be like… what He would be like. It’s interesting how the Person we love most, or try to love most, in the whole world, is the one we’ve never seen! That’s such an evidence of God’s grace and power. We knowt hat even though we’ve never seen Him, He is not a stranger… we receive Him into ourselves in Communion… the relationship between Christ and a person is perhaps the most intimate one there is in our lives. He knows everything about us.
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Yes it is good and proper not to seek extraordinary favors like visions . . . or even consolations/spiritual feelings. And, as you say farther down in your post, dryness in prayer is actually beneficial to us.

I might be misunderstanding you though but what you’re describing in the part I bolded isn’t the same as seeking consolations. It’s actually a type of meditation based on our imagination . . . visualizing yourself at the foot of the Cross, following Christ as He walked amongst us here on earth and so on.

Our imagination is one of the faculties given us to seek Him in prayer. For those of us who have a good imagination (and many a Saint didn’t, St. Teresa of Avila for example) we should use it. It only becomes a problem when we cling to it for the high it gives us or, if we fail to let it go if He begins to call us to a more quiet, passive type of prayer (contemplation).

Just didn’t want you to feel bad about that . . .

Dave. 🙂
 
I can really relate to your post.
I often long to be with Jesus and to physically feel His presence.

Look for Jesus’ presence in those around you. A hug from a good friend just when you need it IS Jesus giving you a hug. The priest’s words of ‘peace be with you’ IS Christ speaking. The comfort of a pet, the smile of a stranger, the sound of birds singing, all those little things which have effect at just the right moment ARE Jesus. His Spirit is with us and comforts us.

Look, too, at what is NOT Christ but an attempt at a substitute (i.e. drugs, sex, rock and roll). Exercise great caution in naming something as a sign of Christ when it is just the opposite.

I am having difficulty explaining what I mean as it is a lesson I myself am learning at the moment. But look to those around you to represent Jesus - especially your priest since being Christ’s representative IS his job.

Christ’s peace and blessings to you.
 
Monica4316 said:
Often when Jesus seems to stay at a distance from us (emphasis on the word ‘seems’), and lets us experience only dryness in prayer, that is when we grow most. And we learn to want to be with Him and to love Him.
Click to expand...
Yes, spiritual dryness confirms and affirms our creaturehood, thus allowing the proper relationship between God and man to proceed. When we become empty vessels, like our Loving Mother, God is not to be lost among the clutter that builds up with one’s ego.

The only problem is that very few people can tolerate suffering, especially the internal suffering of unfulfillment, languishing, and darkness. Thus, God meets us where we are and strengthens us. Thus, most of us in our lives will not have the spiritual lives of a John of the Cross or a Teresa of Avila, most of us won’t experience the dark night of the sense (much less of the soul), and yet most of us will continue being loved by Our Lord provided we are faithful to that which we are called to.
 
Epistemes said:
Yes, spiritual dryness confirms and affirms our creaturehood, thus allowing the proper relationship between God and man to proceed. When we become empty vessels, like our Loving Mother, God is not to be lost among the clutter that builds up with one’s ego.

The only problem is that very few people can tolerate suffering, especially the internal suffering of unfulfillment, languishing, and darkness. Thus, God meets us where we are and strengthens us. Thus, most of us in our lives will not have the spiritual lives of a John of the Cross or a Teresa of Avila, most of us won’t experience the dark night of the sense (much less of the soul), and yet most of us will continue being loved by Our Lord provided we are faithful to that which we are called to.
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This is very true. I really like how in this post, you make suffering sound like an honor, a privilege rather than a misfortune. That’s such a good perspective on it. I look forward to the time when I come more perfectly into holding and sustaining that point of view.
 
Monica4316 said:
I know that we should not seek consolations or visions or anything but loving God and doing His will. And that spiritual fruit counts more than spiritual experiences.

I try to follow this…I used to ask God for consolations but now I dont anymore. No matter how good something is, I don’t think we should want it if it’s not what He wants for us (at least, this is the attitude I’m trying to live by, though I fail at it still.) It’s better to suffer doing God’s will than to enjoy His presence and receiving supernatural favours while being self willed.

but…
and this is something that I’ve never really talked about, but somehow it’s easier to say on a forum, lol…

Sometimes I just really long to be near Jesus and to actually see Him. I keep on thinking what it would be like… what He would be like. It’s interesting how the Person we love most, or try to love most, in the whole world, is the one we’ve never seen! That’s such an evidence of God’s grace and power. We knowt hat even though we’ve never seen Him, He is not a stranger… we receive Him into ourselves in Communion… the relationship between Christ and a person is perhaps the most intimate one there is in our lives. He knows everything about us.

Yet most of us will only see Him after this life. I think we will recognize Him… we would not need to ask, “who are you?”. We’ll know.

And I keep on thinking what that moment will be like. The Saints who have seen Jesus give us an idea… love, humility, peace, joy, reverence… but this description doesn’t quite capture it. I’ve been reading that other thread… on what’s it like to feel God’s presence. Even here on aerth, in our present form, it’s already overwhelming! And Heaven…!?

The first time I ever felt close to God, I just started crying. I had been a Christian for some time already when it happened. I never thought knowing God would be more than theoretical. But suddenly there He was! I think it’s impossible not to love Him back affter He shows His love to us (and think, that is only a tiny bit of His love!) He really captures our hearts.

And yet we’ve never seen Him!
What does He look like?
what’s it like to be in His embrace? to talk to Him?
to just kneel before Him?

sometimes I want this so much, yet I know I need to wait. The Saints were so blessed to have these visions. But we know that “blessed are they who have not seen yet believed” 🙂

Often when Jesus seems to stay at a distance from us (emphasis on the word ‘seems’), and lets us experience only dryness in prayer, that is when we grow most. And we learn to want to be with Him and to love Him.

How happy must be the souls in Heaven 🙂

…this life…it’s just here so that we can learn to love Him…and prepare our hearts and souls for what is to come…and learn to be truly loving people…to God and to neighbour. It’s learning to be a “good and faithful servant” I think… what do you think?

Sometimes i also wonder…is it alright to want to meet Jesus so much? is it a distraction, or the opposite? it seems to encourage me to love Him more.

…and now I have this thought…how close He is at Adoration…even more so, at Communion! it’s the only thing that’s ever really helped. When I receive the Eucharist, I just feel at peace. I don’t see Jesus, but He is physically inside me - and I don’t understand that, but somehow it is true. What a perfect time to give Him consolation.

How He loves us! 🙂

feel free to share any thoughts…
Click to expand...
This is such a beautiful post you wrote, Monica. Throughout it, the thought jumping up and down in my head was “The Eucharist! The Eucharist!” It is Jesus, so you can and do kneel before Him. However, He is, as it were, “in disguise.” His glory isn’t so obvious to us when He humbles Himself so low that He appears in the form of Bread.

Like you, I also keenly desire and seek that intimacy with God. I do not pray for or seek after consolations or the supernatural (anymore), and I’ve learned that this was a distraction for me for many years of my life. Your desire for close union with God is perfect. It is what is called love of God. Our hearts instinctively yearn for that close, divine union because the Holy Spirit has touched us.
 
You don’t have to go far to find Jesus; He is all around us. The problem is that we refuse to recognize Him, or we reject Him.

Jesus is your neighbor; the little child that is abandoned and hungry; the person suffering from physical pain or emotional agony; the old person alone and slowly dying; the person looking to someone to comfort them in their time of trial. He is very, very close to you.

As a college student many years ago, I was driving to class one day. I saw a car stopped along the road and a older gentleman standing alongside looking at the flat tire. I thought, “I should stop and help him.” But then I thought of many excuses not to, like “I’ll be late for class, I’ll get all dirty and sweaty, he probably has AAA, etc.” I didn’t stop.

Later, as the scene came back to me over and over again, I thought to myself, “That was Jesus. Jesus was driving that car, Jesus had the flat tire. And I didn’t stop to help Him. I had my chance right then and there to do something for Jesus, and I failed.”

Now this wasn’t as tough as feeding the hungry, or aiding a leper, or anything like that. It would have been quite a simple thing. And I failed to do it. I also realized that this wasn’t the only time I had the chance to “meet” Jesus and to serve Him, and that so many times I had not responded with love and compassion.

That was a teaching moment for me, and one that will continue teaching me.

In Matthew 25 Jesus says: ** “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.”**

And when asked how that could be, He responded:

"I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me."

Don’t look too far or try too hard to find Him. He will likely appear before you at any moment.
 
From what I have learned by listening to the priests and also just living my life. Is that God created every soul to long for Him. Naturally, the closer you get to Him, the closer still you want to go…because there is nothing in the world that can satisfy us. We will not be satisfied until we get to heaven…and are completely & perpetually in the Presence of God. St Paul says we are citizens of heaven & pilgrims on this earth. Seeking consolations we shouldn’t do, but at the same time, that is our human nature…to want to feel the love. We also should accept heavenly consolations with a grateful and loving heart & not reject them, considering Whom they are coming from. If you are thinking about seeing Jesus, isn’t that the same that you do when a loved one is gone away on a trip and you think about the reunion? If you love someone of course you are going to imagine the face to face meeting…how many stories & songs have been written & song about soldiers longing to see their families? Your treasure is where your heart is & it sounds like yours is with Jesus. 👍
 
I think that the fact that you are thirsting for God means that you are growing in Him. He wants us to hunger after Him. That hunger spurs us on to practice more mercy and love for Him. I wrote a song recently inspired by a recent post in the thread about the presence of Christ.

*You pursue me God with your love,
Like a hind chases after a doe.
Oh, Pursue me, God, til you catch me,
And I will thirst only for you.

Let me touch the hem of your garment, Lord!
Let me see a glimpse of your face!
Give me a drop of your Living Water,
And I will thirst only for you.

Like a shepherd you’re calling your sheep,
And they each know the sound your voice.
Oh, call me, Good Shepherd, and I will come running
And I will thirst only for you!

Let me touch the hem of your garment, Lord!
Let me see a glimpse of your face!
Give me a drop of your Living Water,
And I will thirst only for you.*
 
Before the Blessed Sacrament…

Jesus, I sit here before You…waiting…
What do You see when You look at me?
Do You see me wanting to love You, wanting to feel You near me?
Because
I do want to love You.
I do want to please You.
I do want to serve You.
I do want to know You.
I do want my life to be different.
I do want to be more holy.
But it’s such a struggle -
distractions crowd in on my holy thoughts.
They turn me away from You time and time again.
Help me to keep looking at You, Jesus.
Help me to keep seeking Your truth.
Help me to do Your will.
Let my life always please You.
My thoughts, my words, my deeds,
let them always be
Your thoughts, Your words, Your deeds.
Jesus, I praise You.
Jesus, I adore You.
Jesus, I love You.
Jesus, I worship You.
Jesus, fill my heart with love -
for You,
for my family,
for all Your holy priests,
for my friends,
for all those I like,
for all those I dislike,
for all I meet,
for everyone.
Let them see Your love shining through me.
Amen.
 
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