Wanting to stay young - a sin?

[cynic]

Do you think your real friends are going to ditch you just because you get older?.

No but I think the nature of friendship changes. Social interaction for older people/ mature adults seems to consist of discussing investments with a work colleague over lunch, or something like that.

 

[gardenswithkids]

God creates beauty. When death and decay start to attack what He created, it is sad–even traggic.

God created humans with a body and a soul. We easily see the outward appearance, we don’t really see the soul. While our current bodies are temporary, our souls are eternal. A beautiful soul lasts far longer and does more good than a beautiful body. Pride and vanity may improve outward appearances, but they make souls ugly. (Sometimes they even make the outside ugly, like too many plastic surgeries. )

As our outward youth fades, we can fight aging for a while but it’s a loosing battle. Aging reminds us that things of this world won’t last, and we can use it to our advantage. When I go to the beauty shop for upkeep, I like to also reflect on “God’s Beauty Shop”. (Seriously–I’ve thought about starting a thread on that.)

Think about it. How much pain and suffering do undertake willingly for physical beauty while doing little to make our souls attractive? Many will diet to loose weight who would never *fast *to loose attachment to sin. Acid peels sting like heck to expose “more youthful skin”, but if God asks us to do something that “stings” we run from the very idea of pain. I could go on and on.

Yes, I struggled with vanity in my youth, and I wonder if what I do now for beauty sake is “vanity” or simply basic maintenance. Yet I’m more concerned now if my soul has a blemish or wrinkle than my face. And when it comes to friends, I’m more concerned about their inward qualities than their outward appearances and net assets.

At this Easter season as we reflect on the Ressurection of the Lord, remember that* our bodies* too will be ressurected at the end of time. Those bodies will reflect the internal beauty of our souls that we developed and enhanced during our time here on earth. Go ahead, try to stay eternally young by maintaining your soul.

 

[jrabs]

Your age is what you make of it. Nothing more.
I am 42. I would never want to turn back the clock to my younger years because each state in life has fabulous gifts to offer. God is great at every stage.

If you keep up with exercise ( God has blessed you if you are able), and eat wisely, have your health and have faith- then why should age bother you?

I absolutely LOVE my age and the sense of freedom age can bring. I am happier now with the knowledge of knowing myself.

May God grant you peace to enjoy the here and now.

 

[Bonnie]

I don’t want to be thought of as an “old dude”, ever.

The only way to stay a certain age is to die before your next birthday. But then, you won’t be around to enjoy it.

I think it’s silly to worry about getting older. It happens to everyone who lives. God gave us life & it’s an insult to Him to not enjoy it.

 

[DL82]

The only way to stay a certain age is to die before your next birthday. But then, you won’t be around to enjoy it.

I think it’s silly to worry about getting older. It happens to everyone who lives. God gave us life & it’s an insult to Him to not enjoy it.

I have to admit, I am 25 and don’t spend a lot of time ‘enjoying’ life. I have the opposite problem, that I see my youth and head-strong-ness, and my lack of firm intellectual and spiritual foundations as a major obstacle, and one I want to over-come as quickly as possible. I have spent most of the last 7 years of my life, since becoming a Christian, trying to study as much as I can and to give up as much as I can of any attachment to anything. For the first 6 years I assumed this was because I was going to become a monk or a hermit. In the end, it turns out God had other ideas, and I have met and fallen in love with the most wonderful woman who I am going to enjoy spending the rest of my life with!

All the same, I want to be the very best I can be, and now I have even more incentive, I want to be my best for my fiancee, and also for God. I look and feel a lot older than I am - I sometimes used to get mistaken for someone in his 40’s! It’s not quite so bad since I shaved my beard, but I still look and act a lot older than 25. Is this a sin? Am I doing the wrong thing? I know when I’m in my 40’s and 50’s I will look back on my youth and regret not having more fun, but I’m hoping I’ll look back from Eternity and be glad I chose this hard path rather than another.

 

[dulcissima]

No but I think the nature of friendship changes. Social interaction for older people/ mature adults seems to consist of discussing investments with a work colleague over lunch, or something like that.

I know what you mean, but there is always the option of not becoming like that. So what if boring people think you are immature. It’s not a sin to not want to be dull and practical all of the time.

 

[cynic]

I have to admit, I am 25 and don’t spend a lot of time ‘enjoying’ life. I have the opposite problem, that I see my youth and head-strong-ness, and my lack of firm intellectual and spiritual foundations as a major obstacle, and one I want to over-come as quickly as possible. I have spent most of the last 7 years of my life, since becoming a Christian, trying to study as much as I can and to give up as much as I can of any attachment to anything. For the first 6 years I assumed this was because I was going to become a monk or a hermit. In the end, it turns out God had other ideas, and I have met and fallen in love with the most wonderful woman who I am going to enjoy spending the rest of my life with!

All the same, I want to be the very best I can be, and now I have even more incentive, I want to be my best for my fiancee, and also for God. I look and feel a lot older than I am - I sometimes used to get mistaken for someone in his 40’s! It’s not quite so bad since I shaved my beard, but I still look and act a lot older than 25. Is this a sin? Am I doing the wrong thing? I know when I’m in my 40’s and 50’s I will look back on my youth and regret not having more fun, but I’m hoping I’ll look back from Eternity and be glad I chose this hard path rather than another.

It’s not surprising that someone with such an ascetic view regards youth with disdain. But it’s not as if I want to stay young so I can party all the time. Adult life is dreary. The lack of true friends, casual conversation, work that becomes repetitive and boring, nothing is new anymore.

 

[Catholic90]

…Adult life is dreary. The lack of true friends, casual conversation, work that becomes repetitive and boring, nothing is new anymore.

Really??? Wow! No one told me that, and I’m nearly 43 (apparently ancient according to some on this thread!)

Life is DEFINITELY NOT dreary! I have 3 kids who keep me hopping, young, and energized! There is something new and exciting nearly every day!

Yes, friends are different than when young, but I think they are more meaningful. Work is what you make it. Yes, some is repetitive, but some is not. I do not find it boring. And as far as something new - oh, yeah, something new is always happening! Not necessarily what you expect, but definitely exciting!

 

[KathleenElsie]

Past 25? Oh dear, try 40, when you’ve had 4 children via c-section, and everything has been squished into the wrong places. My youngest daugher saw me getting out of the shower one day, and she said to me “mom, you boobs are falling.” That pretty much sums it up.

Loved this one LOL

 

[Zooey]

Past 25? Oh dear, try 40, when you’ve had 4 children via c-section, and everything has been squished into the wrong places. My youngest daugher saw me getting out of the shower one day, and she said to me “mom, you boobs are falling.” That pretty much sums it up.

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif I will be 60 on Saturday.
Everything of mine has all ready fallen…boobs being the least of it.
I have a 13 inch incision from my collar bone down to below my rib cage, where they cracked my rib cage open for open heart surgery in 2004.
There are a bunch of funny looking round scars scattered around, where they put in drainage tubing afterwards.
I am now two sizes larger on the bottom than I am on the top. (You men, you wear “separates” all the time; you have no idea how hard it is to find clothes for this!!)
You know what? I couldn’t care less. I was very vain about my looks when I was young. I have given up on looking young, & I am now busy looking forward to Heaven. (Despite having fought like crazy to stay here on earth a while yet, during said surgery!)
Life is sometimes rough, but serving our Lord is good!

I don’t want to be thought of as an “old dude”, ever.
In a world where half the human population is starving, this sounds pretty pathetic. I guess it’s about being attached to certian things associated with youth (like having real friends, not just the polite aquaintances that older people tend to have).

I have more real friends than I ever had when I was your age. A lot of the phoniness has been dropped along the way.
But I don’t think you’re pathetic; I think you’re just young. Been there, done that.

And what about using cosmetics, or near surgical treatments (like for eg botox)?

Please, please, don’t use botox! The people I see who use it, look like wind-up dolls, not people. Most of them really are pathetic…No expressions on their faces, they look like a testimony to their own inner emptiness.
And the dangers have not been any where near studied or reported enough. There are a very few people for whom botox fills a very real medical need. But it is botulinus toxin, you know: A teaspoon of it could kill off a small town!! (Seriously!)
I saw a show on TV recently, where a couple were interviewed who had had botox injections, & spent months semiconscious, & paralyzed. All from botox. Neither one of them will ever have their full health again.
Keep yourself healthy. And keep your mnd off yourself, & on God, & other people. You won’t need botox, nor any cosmetics. You will be beautiful where it really counts: down deep, inside yourself.
I have been following the sad melodrama of Anna Nicole Smith oin TV. She looked so sad, so angry. She was truly pathetic-- ravaged by drugs, she had created a plastic person that hid all her inner turmoil from the world. She died, physically I suppose, “youthful”, but actually like a caricature, not a real woman. She left behind turmoil, anger, & people scrambling to see who could lay hands on a few $$$$…
I saw my wonderful Christian grandmother shortly before she died. She was 93 years old, & she was the most beautiful person on the face of the earth. She took her fist & pounded on the edge of the bed, & said, “I don’t want to wait any longer to leave this old world! I want to see Jesus now!!” Two days later, He came for her, while she slept…“serenaded by angels, right up to His throne”.
Which would you rather be???
God bless.

 

[cynic]

I guess my views on older adults are coloured by experiences at work, where familiarity between people is considered innapropriate.

 

[PaulinVA]

cynic, accept who you are. You’re 28, act 28. Enjoy what people in their late 20s enjoy.

I’m in my late 40s, which isn’t old at all, and have friends that I’ve known for decades. That is real friendship. It doesn’t matter what we talk about. It is friendship.

Remember, all of your friends/peers are growing older, too. As your needs/interests change, so do theirs.

 

[dulcissima]

I guess my views on older adults are coloured by experiences at work, where familiarity between people is considered innapropriate.

Are you happy where you are working? Sometimes where we work really isn’t at all what the rest of the world is really like. I work mostly with teenagers now, ones that have been kicked out of their regular high schools and have had to come to our school, even kids who are fresh out of juvenile hall and living in group homes. I’ve also worked in an environment where many of my coworkers were having affairs. Imagine if I let my work experience jade how I view young people or marriage.

Don’t live in a bubble, cynic. It is too confining.

 

[gardenswithkids]

I guess my views on older adults are coloured by experiences at work, where familiarity between people is considered innapropriate.

You seem to address two different issues about aging on this thread: physical appearance (looking middle aged) and lifestyle (with the perception that middle age people lack friends and excitement.) Maybe you’re just going through an early mid-life crisis, trying to figure out the meaning of your life.

While co-workers can be on friendly terms, just because someone works with you doesn’t mean you are friends. Don’t judge the quality of middle age friendships by how your co-workers communicate with you. They may not want to develop friendship at work, sharing their deepest hopes and dreams with a co-worker, (especially one much younger than they are.)

Maybe your co-workers are superficial–that’s not the type I want for friends at any age. Or maybe they work boring desk jobs because it allows them to do truly heroic things with their lives–like raise a decent family. If you work with my husband, he is the later–a heroic father of seven who does a job he dislikes so he can provide well for his family. He doesn’t spend his money on hair transplants, botox or liposuction to fight aging, nor does he have all the free time for exercising and playing sports like he did in his twenties. He spends his money and his free time taking care of his family. He likely won’t tell you too much about us or himself because he mostly just wants to finish his work, get out of the office, and go home.

 

[KathleenElsie]

I am 60yo and work mainly with younger people. I work to live and I don’t love to work. My social life is mostly our family and our Church.

It has been my observation that the workplace is not the place to make your friends. It can cause many problems and even if you are a good worker others might perceive your success as being unearned.

The majority of the young workers I have worked with are hard workers and I would not be afraid to invite them into our home. BUT, We just don’t have the same interests and in some cases that same value system that I want to embrace.

Staying young and worrying about it just is not high on my lists of wants or needs. Staying healthy is high on my list of needs.

 

[cynic]

Yes work is not the place to make bestest buddies or get too chummy with people, and considering my interests consist mainly of games, movies and music, I might not be the most mature person. But really, what’s the alternative? a boring life where the only time you can be yourself is around immediate family? 28+ is not looking good from here…

 

[rayne89]

Cynic my hubby is 35 and his interests are the same as yours -games, movies & music (and his family). He is a big kid and he’s not going to change even if he’s thinning a little on top. I wouldn’t want him any other way. He’s responsible and takes care of his family but that would be the day he talks about stocks and bonds.

I can tell your not married but if and when that happens you might find you like hanging out with your family. The shop my hubby works at now has some pretty good guys working there and almost all are older than him. (They call my husband junior.) My hubby loves horror movies which I can’t stand but he has a buddy from work he goes and see them with and they exchange movies too. Another guy from work he gets together with on weekends sometimes and play the card game Magic:The Gathering.

No he doesn’t party anymore -did plenty of that back in the day but he’s not old and boring and I don’t think he’'ll ever be. I got him a PSP for his b-day and he never leaves home without it.

 

[KathleenElsie]

Some of the saddest people I have met are those people trying to live life as twenty somethings when they are in their fifty’s and sixty’s or older. I lived in southern Florida (raised there) and San Francisco California (armed forces) till I was 24 years old. Seeing those people that were trying to act my age at the time that they were in their mid adult hood to early retirement made me sad and in some cases turned my stomach. The reason I say this is it is not pleasing to see a wrinkled body in a bikini. It is not pleasant seeing how those without a trust fund end up fiddling their days away. IMHO This was the start of todays homelessness and lack of work ethic. Do your own thing sounds great but it very rarely works.

I like movies, music, games and outdoor recreation. But it has its place and is not the main object in a full and mostly happy life.

 

[dulcissima]

Yes work is not the place to make bestest buddies or get too chummy with people, and considering my interests consist mainly of games, movies and music, I might not be the most mature person. But really, what’s the alternative? a boring life where the only time you can be yourself is around immediate family? 28+ is not looking good from here…

I think one of the main things is don’t marry someone who wants you to be something other than you already are. There is nothing wrong with your interests and hopefully you can find a woman who either shares them or is at least supportive of your interests. I know my cousin in Dallas had posted some pictures of their new house on our family website, and their family room had two entertainment centers to hold all of her husband’s gaming consoles. He has buddies with similar interests and they do gaming nights all of the time. His kids love to play with him as well.

There is definitely nothing wrong with maintaining the interests that you do have, but if you are genuinely not wanting to get “old” then make sure that you are open to doing new things too. I do think people really do end up being old and boring once they lose that sense of adventure and are no longer in learning mode. I think they are usually pretty easy to spot, the ones that have worn their hair the same, dressed the same, had the same dozen friends, had the same routines for year after year. While it is good to appreciate where you are in life and not be always longing for new things, sometimes it is good to abandon the familiar every once in a while. So, just make sure that you leave your safety zone every once in a while and try something new, even if you aren’t sure if you’ll like it. I seriously do think that is an important part of staying young.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Yes work is not the place to make bestest buddies or get too chummy with people, and considering my interests consist mainly of games, movies and music, I might not be the most mature person. But really, what’s the alternative? a boring life where the only time you can be yourself is around immediate family? 28+ is not looking good from here…

If you define anything beyond entertainment as “boring” then you will likely have a boring and/or superficial life because you haven’t gone beyond the surface. There is nothing objectively wrong* with games, music or movies.(* Just adding a little disclaimer that some are morally objectionable.) Most people enjoy games, movies and music. While we may enjoy entertainment, true joy goes much deeper and lasts longer.

To move beyond a superficial existence, we find deeper meaning for our lives in helping others. Focus less on yourself if you really want to avoid becoming boring and old; people who mostly just talk and think about themselves get particularly boring as they age. Many people serve their immediate family as a way to go beyond themselves, but there are plenty of volunteer activities that can accomplish that too. Common activities associated with parenting is often volunteer work for larger groups, but one doesn’t have to be a parent to coach sports, lead scouts or help in a church nursery.

Considered volunteering, perhaps in an area around your interest. If you have the talent, sing in the Church choir, play an instrument or help with the sound system. If you like sports, consider coaching youth–then you get to watch games and put in real people into the spots rather than just little electronic dudes. God gave you talents and abilities–use them to help others and in doing so you may discover you help yourself more than you help others!

Remember that line in the prayer of St. Francis? “In giving we recieve”. I think it means when we give to others, we get something out of it too. And in dying (to self), we are born to eternal life.