WaPo: Opus Dei paid $977,000 to settle sexual misconduct claim against prominent priest
- Thread starter Tis_Bearself
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mrsdizzyd
Guest
It’s not often we hear this sentiment from victims in mainstream media reports. I hope it becomes normative for these kinds of issues as the church continues to improve its handling of abuse cases.
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Bon_Croix
Guest
It’s a settlement; not a conviction.
Settlement with someone does not imply guilt or that the settlement was just.
Settlement with someone does not imply guilt or that the settlement was just.
Tis_Bearself
Patron
That’s right, she could have suffered much more greatly and deserved even more money, but chose to take the small amount to just get it overwith and move on with her life.
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Feanor2
Guest
In a statement, Opus Dei Vicar Monsignor Thomas Bohlin said McCloskey’s actions at the center were “deeply painful for the woman” who made the initial complaint “and we are very sorry for all she suffered.”
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fin
Guest
Something very fishy about this whole thing. I feel they are not telling the whole truth…
Tis_Bearself
Patron
Here is the statement from the vicar of Opus Dei, indicating that there were allegations from two women and that Fr. McCloskey is nearly incapacitated from Alzheimer’s.
I have been following this story because about 15 years ago, I used to work a couple blocks from this Catholic Information Center place during my “away from the Church” days, and I used to chide myself for never going inside, but at the same time I thought it was odd that the Church would be operating an “information center” (looked like a storefront/ bookstore) with Masses in that area which has several Catholic churches close by holding daily Mass already. I now think maybe I dodged a bullet by not going in.
I know in the past at least one person on this forum has said they were an Opus Dei member and found it helpful, but I am leery of Opus Dei, and this doesn’t help.
I have been following this story because about 15 years ago, I used to work a couple blocks from this Catholic Information Center place during my “away from the Church” days, and I used to chide myself for never going inside, but at the same time I thought it was odd that the Church would be operating an “information center” (looked like a storefront/ bookstore) with Masses in that area which has several Catholic churches close by holding daily Mass already. I now think maybe I dodged a bullet by not going in.
I know in the past at least one person on this forum has said they were an Opus Dei member and found it helpful, but I am leery of Opus Dei, and this doesn’t help.
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tafan2
Guest
If you don’t mind my asking, why? (Note, I am not a member, but do occasionally attend their monthly recollections)
Tis_Bearself
Patron
First, while I know some people have had very positive experiences with them, there are also a lot of stories on the web and even some posted on this forum by people who have not had positive experiences. It seems your personal experience has to do with who you happen to get as your leader, supervisor, guide or whatever the term is. Some of the negative experiences were very bad indeed. There is a website called ODAN that talks about a number of them (also contains “rules” that the members have to follow like not reading “forbidden” books and women above a certain level can’t go in a bar, allegedly), and I remember a person posting here that his wife was in Opus Dei and almost lost her faith as a result of being made to feel very badly about herself frequently. When I just go about my spiritual life as a normal Catholic, the church and those I interact with mostly build me up, not tear me down.
Second, it seems to have aspects that are very military, and other aspects that seem like an MLM scheme. There seems to be an emphasis on rules and on answering to your superior and so forth. If I wanted that type of experience, I would have joined either the military or a religious order.
As an educated professional person, I’m troubled that this particular organization is the main one that’s decided to position itself as the group for educated professional “influencers” to join. I would rather join a more loving organization. The lay Carmelites or Focolare seem so much kinder than this. Maybe it’s just not my style. I’m not really big on showing off that “oh we converted Newt Gingrich”. Why can’t Newt just practice his faith without it having to be a big publicity item, like all the rest of us? Any specialness he has is “of this world”.
Second, it seems to have aspects that are very military, and other aspects that seem like an MLM scheme. There seems to be an emphasis on rules and on answering to your superior and so forth. If I wanted that type of experience, I would have joined either the military or a religious order.
As an educated professional person, I’m troubled that this particular organization is the main one that’s decided to position itself as the group for educated professional “influencers” to join. I would rather join a more loving organization. The lay Carmelites or Focolare seem so much kinder than this. Maybe it’s just not my style. I’m not really big on showing off that “oh we converted Newt Gingrich”. Why can’t Newt just practice his faith without it having to be a big publicity item, like all the rest of us? Any specialness he has is “of this world”.
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tafan2
Guest
Thanks. Sorry about the late response. I wanted to have a chance to respond when I had a little more time than this past weekend. As I said, I am not a member of Opus Dei, but I do have a couple of friends who are members and I do occasionally attend their monthly recollections in this area and in the past I have gone to Opus Dei priests as spiritual directors. So I am somewhat of an outsider looking in.
There are a lot of misconceptions about Opus Dei, most of them, from my viewpoint are not really fair. I would suggest the following FAQ by a former member that seems pretty accurate as far as I can tell, and it has been largely verified by members:
truthservedraw.wordpress.com
A few years ago, I read the book by John Allen (a catholic reporter who is not overly traditional or conservative) that was very well balanced:
https://www.amazon.com/Opus-Dei-Obj...&keywords=john+allen+opus+dei#customerReviews
TBD
There are a lot of misconceptions about Opus Dei, most of them, from my viewpoint are not really fair. I would suggest the following FAQ by a former member that seems pretty accurate as far as I can tell, and it has been largely verified by members:
Matt’s Opus Dei FAQ
Originally Published: 18 October 2002 Last Revised: 9 January 2015 Moved to WordPress: 23 May 2015 Introduction I’ve come across a lot of posts on the internet regarding Opus Dei. Many of the…
truthservedraw.wordpress.com
A few years ago, I read the book by John Allen (a catholic reporter who is not overly traditional or conservative) that was very well balanced:
https://www.amazon.com/Opus-Dei-Obj...&keywords=john+allen+opus+dei#customerReviews
TBD
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tafan2
Guest
Cont:
I think any specific Catholic organization or group has people with positive and negative experiences. I do not really trust the ODAN site, as it just does not match my personal knowledge at all. I am sure there have been directors of centers and others who have made mistakes, but for the most part, what you hear and see from various Opus Dei priests and numeraries is very consistent. I do not think there is much difference based on who you get as your directory of spiritual director. I am sure there are exceptions, but in general the formation and guidance is very consistent.
As far as them “building me up, not tearing me down”, that whole statement seems odd. I have never experienced any type of “tearing me down”. They don’t work on telling members repetitively how great they are, but they never tell people how horrible they are either. As to the “forbidden books”, that is addressed in the FAQ I published. I have asked about this and have been told they are encouraged to ask their spiritual director about any religious book they are going to read. Which seems par for the course as far as spiritual direction goes. I can’t imagine having a spiritual director and not talking to them about a book I am reading to help me with the faith or to learn more about the faith. I have had non opus dei spiritual directors tell me not to read certain books.
Not going to a bar? I have, more than once, gone to bars for a drink with members from Opus Dei. Now, if you are a numerary, I am sure there is more control. You are, after all, dedicating your whole life to Opus Dei in that role. They seem to demand a lot out of numeraries. I know one former numerary quite well. I have heard no real negative comments from the experience.
As for supernereraries, they are not controlling at all. They provide formation and spiritual direction and always tell the members “you have to decide”.
I would never see them as military or a MLM scheme. Those perceptions are just sort of strange.
A more loving organization? Well, I would see them just as loving as any other religious order or Catholic group. I have never felt any lack of kindness, indeed they seem to be some of the nicest people you will find.
As for the “oh we converted Newt”, that really doesn’t come from them IMO. They are accused of being secretive, because they don’t say who are members. But that is just showing respect to each member, that is a personal decision if someone wants others to know they are a member.
Now, I do see faults. For example, I think they tend to be too be a little bit inward focused on their apostolates. But in general, most of the criticisms are unfair IMO. All thought many criticisms stem from their closeness, IMO (so they have themselves to blame). But if you ask a question, you always get an honest answer from them.
They are not for everyone, but no cause to be leery of them.
I think any specific Catholic organization or group has people with positive and negative experiences. I do not really trust the ODAN site, as it just does not match my personal knowledge at all. I am sure there have been directors of centers and others who have made mistakes, but for the most part, what you hear and see from various Opus Dei priests and numeraries is very consistent. I do not think there is much difference based on who you get as your directory of spiritual director. I am sure there are exceptions, but in general the formation and guidance is very consistent.
As far as them “building me up, not tearing me down”, that whole statement seems odd. I have never experienced any type of “tearing me down”. They don’t work on telling members repetitively how great they are, but they never tell people how horrible they are either. As to the “forbidden books”, that is addressed in the FAQ I published. I have asked about this and have been told they are encouraged to ask their spiritual director about any religious book they are going to read. Which seems par for the course as far as spiritual direction goes. I can’t imagine having a spiritual director and not talking to them about a book I am reading to help me with the faith or to learn more about the faith. I have had non opus dei spiritual directors tell me not to read certain books.
Not going to a bar? I have, more than once, gone to bars for a drink with members from Opus Dei. Now, if you are a numerary, I am sure there is more control. You are, after all, dedicating your whole life to Opus Dei in that role. They seem to demand a lot out of numeraries. I know one former numerary quite well. I have heard no real negative comments from the experience.
As for supernereraries, they are not controlling at all. They provide formation and spiritual direction and always tell the members “you have to decide”.
I would never see them as military or a MLM scheme. Those perceptions are just sort of strange.
A more loving organization? Well, I would see them just as loving as any other religious order or Catholic group. I have never felt any lack of kindness, indeed they seem to be some of the nicest people you will find.
As for the “oh we converted Newt”, that really doesn’t come from them IMO. They are accused of being secretive, because they don’t say who are members. But that is just showing respect to each member, that is a personal decision if someone wants others to know they are a member.
Now, I do see faults. For example, I think they tend to be too be a little bit inward focused on their apostolates. But in general, most of the criticisms are unfair IMO. All thought many criticisms stem from their closeness, IMO (so they have themselves to blame). But if you ask a question, you always get an honest answer from them.
They are not for everyone, but no cause to be leery of them.
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Tis_Bearself
Patron
To be fair, I did note in my posts that
It’s good that you post info about Opus Dei to give a balanced view to the forum, but my mind was made up well before this that I personally don’t want to be involved with the group. Others are free to make their own choice based on their own spiritual calling and needs.
I think I will leave this thread now as I don’t really want to be pushed to change my mind about Opus Dei.
- Opus Dei clearly works very well for some people to lead them closer to God
- A lot seems to depend on the mindset and interaction one has with their personal Opus Dei group
- I personally don’t relate to its organizational/ authority structure very well. Other people might. We are all different.
It’s good that you post info about Opus Dei to give a balanced view to the forum, but my mind was made up well before this that I personally don’t want to be involved with the group. Others are free to make their own choice based on their own spiritual calling and needs.
I think I will leave this thread now as I don’t really want to be pushed to change my mind about Opus Dei.
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twf
Guest
I too am wary. I’ve had positive experiences with Opus Dei, but there’s always been a few things that haven’t set quite right with me. In my opinion there is a military esque vibe. I remember I was at a centre once and the assistant director told one of the members “time to get a hair cut”. Everyone had a very polished, professional, uniform look at ALL times. Friendships seemed to be very directed as well… I always got the impression that I was being targeted as part of a recruitment effort and when I eventually stopped showing interest, my Opus Dei friends disappeared.
Eventually the centre got a couple serving ladies (I don’t remember the proper Opus Dei name - the celibate women who take care of the domestic needs of their centres). The men would close the dining room door when they left to ensure there would be no encounters between the men and the serving women during clean up (or prep). Some of this just feels like Spanish culture of a different era… not wrong, just alien.
Definitely lots of good… but a few things just didn’t appeal to me.
Eventually the centre got a couple serving ladies (I don’t remember the proper Opus Dei name - the celibate women who take care of the domestic needs of their centres). The men would close the dining room door when they left to ensure there would be no encounters between the men and the serving women during clean up (or prep). Some of this just feels like Spanish culture of a different era… not wrong, just alien.
Definitely lots of good… but a few things just didn’t appeal to me.
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tafan2
Guest
Not trying to push you to do anything. I think your post was fine, I was just presenting my thoughts and experience. As I have said often on this forum, the Church provides many different paths and types of spirituality. They are not wrong, just not for all of us.
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tafan2
Guest
Their is no doubt that Opus Dei encourages their members to focus on their best in all things they do, this includes their appearance. As to friendship being a result of recruitment, I have heard this before. It has not been my experience, but I do agree the members tend to associate within their group. Its one of the problems I have with them at times.
Yes, this is somewhat how I feel, although the cultural differences do not really make me wary.
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