Was Able to Speak With the Parrish Priest After Mass

[Mrs_Sally]

I will be praying for your marriage. It must be very hard to be in your place. It sounds as if the priest is telling you that being loving toward your wife is the best path to her reconciliation with the Church. That is so often the case, very few people are converted or reconciled without a good relationship.

 

[Memaw]

I can see why he said it. We are to be peace makers. If I abstain from sexual relations with my wife, it will not bring peace, but strife. She already wants nothing to do with the Catholic church, why would I do something that will drive her even further away?

I guess since you are not involved in my life or marriage, you wouldn’t necessarily understand the dynamics of my marriage. What abstaining from sexual relations will do to my relationship with my wife.

edit: When asked by the priest and several others when I spoke with them at the one RCIA class I attended where I got the information to abstain, they kinda laughed and said not to believe everything you read on the internet.

Sad to say, you can’t always believe everything you hear in an RCIA class either!,

This is the part I objected to:

He said that confession is fine, but no communion until the marriage is blessed by the church. I also asked about abstaining from intimacy with my wife. He told me that he would never tell me to abstain. ( I object especially to this!!! ) That the Catholic church recognizes law and being civilly married is the law. That he sees us as married, as does God. It’s the church that doesn’t see it as such and that’s not a reason enough to abstain.

I don’t have to be in your shoes to know what the Church teaches. The Church does NOT recognize civil laws when they are against Church laws. God does not see you as married and won’t until your marriage is Blessed! The Church only recognizes a civil marriage when it is between two unbaptized people. A Catholic married out of the Church is never recognized as a valid marriage. What you do in your personal life is between you and God. The priest, or no one else for that matter, can give you permission to sin, that’s your choice. I would stay as close to your Faith as you can and pray for a holy outcome. You can go to “Confession” to talk to a priest but he cannot give you absolution until your marriage is resolved. If he did, it wouldn’t be valid. God Bless, Memaw

 

[lonegreywolf20]

Sad to say, you can’t always believe everything you hear in an RCIA class either!,

This is the part I objected to:

He said that confession is fine, but no communion until the marriage is blessed by the church. I also asked about abstaining from intimacy with my wife. He told me that he would never tell me to abstain. ( I object especially to this!!! ) That the Catholic church recognizes law and being civilly married is the law. That he sees us as married, as does God. It’s the church that doesn’t see it as such and that’s not a reason enough to abstain.

I don’t have to be in your shoes to know what the Church teaches. The Church does NOT recognize civil laws when they are against Church laws. God does not see you as married and won’t until your marriage is Blessed! The Church only recognizes a civil marriage when it is between two unbaptized people. A Catholic married out of the Church is never recognized as a valid marriage. What you do in your personal life is between you and God. The priest, or no one else for that matter, can give you permission to sin, that’s your choice. I would stay as close to your Faith as you can and pray for a holy outcome. You can go to “Confession” to talk to a priest but he cannot give you absolution until your marriage is resolved. If he did, it wouldn’t be valid. God Bless, Memaw

Are you ignoring the part where if I abstain from sexual relations with my wife it will do far more harm to my marriage than good?

So I understand what you’re saying, better my marriage is ruined and possibly ends, then I keep my marriage intact. No problem… I will send you the bill when there is a divorce and child support to be paid.

 

[lonegreywolf20]

Sad to say, you can’t always believe everything you hear in an RCIA class either!,

This is the part I objected to:

He said that confession is fine, but no communion until the marriage is blessed by the church. I also asked about abstaining from intimacy with my wife. He told me that he would never tell me to abstain. ( I object especially to this!!! ) That the Catholic church recognizes law and being civilly married is the law. That he sees us as married, as does God. It’s the church that doesn’t see it as such and that’s not a reason enough to abstain.

I don’t have to be in your shoes to know what the Church teaches. The Church does NOT recognize civil laws when they are against Church laws. God does not see you as married and won’t until your marriage is Blessed! The Church only recognizes a civil marriage when it is between two unbaptized people. A Catholic married out of the Church is never recognized as a valid marriage. What you do in your personal life is between you and God. The priest, or no one else for that matter, can give you permission to sin, that’s your choice. I would stay as close to your Faith as you can and pray for a holy outcome. You can go to “Confession” to talk to a priest but he cannot give you absolution until your marriage is resolved. If he did, it wouldn’t be valid. God Bless, Memaw

If the above is truth, than I am not sure why I came back to Catholicism because I am going to lose my marriage if I stay because I cannot have sexual relations with my wife and it is without a doubt going to cause problems in my marriage.

Memaw, I am going to ask that you no longer reply in my threads. All you are doing is making me doubt coming back to the Catholic church and that is not what I need.

 

[Catholic1954]

Follow the instructions and take the advice from your priest. Pray daily for your wife and marriage and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit. You are heading in the right direction; all will be well!

 

[PJM]

=Memaw;11425849]Oh my, then I guess anything the Church teaches isn’t reason enough to abstain from sin! I do not agree and I doubt most priests, Bishops or event the Pope would either. God Bless, memaw

DUH:shrug:

Memaw, help ME out there. Just how and why is having sex with one’s wife sinful?

God Blress you,
Patrick

 

[ccmcmg]

If the above is truth, than I am not sure why I came back to Catholicism because I am going to lose my marriage if I stay because I cannot have sexual relations with my wife and it is without a doubt going to cause problems in my marriage.
.

I pray that your marriage may soon be blessed, and that your wife finds her way to come to the Faith. I am not going to comment on whether or not you should have sexual relations with your wife, or if your priest is/isn’t correct.

One thing that I do have to remember is that it would be better for me to lose everything on this earth, than to lose our Heavenly reward; yes, even our children, our homes, our families, if they keep us from Christ. That isn’t up to me; that is between you and our Lord. I’m not saying that you are in that danger, or that is what should/would/could happen. Just a thought. I pray that your marriage and your faith are reconciled into one very soon.

 

[Mike30]

Apparently, I had spoken with a visiting priest when I posted this. Today I got to speak with the head priest of this church.

He said that confession is fine, but no communion until the marriage is blessed by the church. I also asked about abstaining from intimacy with my wife. He told me that he would never tell me to abstain. That the Catholic church recognizes law and being civilly married is the law. That he sees us as married, as does God. It’s the church that doesn’t see it as such and that’s not a reason enough to abstain.

Plus, he said it will cause issues in the marriage and may drive her further away. To continue on as we have been.

Well I am surprised that he has set himself up as being above the Church in this matter. I take no sides in this issue, but what the Church sees and what the Church teaches and the Law of the Church** most certainly does matter** and is most assuredly a good reason. For him to say differently, is just wrong.

Sorry, but it is. He does not have the authority to say that what the Church sees and says is wrong.

 

[YoungTradCath]

He told me that he would never tell me to abstain. That the Catholic church recognizes law and being civilly married is the law. That he sees us as married, as does God. It’s the church that doesn’t see it as such and that’s not a reason enough to abstain.

Well, this is a huge non sequitur of several statements that have no logical connection whatsoever. (Note: I am not criticizing you. :] )

 

[Memaw]

DUH:shrug:

Memaw, help ME out there. Just how and why is having sex with one’s wife sinful?

God Blress you,
Patrick

If a Catholic is “married” out of the Church then that union is an invalid marriage and basicly the same as just living together. They are not truly man and wife. How people deal with this kind of situation is up to them but I don’t think a priest should cast doubt on the teachings of the Church. It is not the Church’s fault we get ourselves into these kinds of situations. She is there to help us but certainly not to misguide us. God Bless, Memaw

 

[lonegreywolf20]

Follow the instructions and take the advice from your priest. Pray daily for your wife and marriage and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit. You are heading in the right direction; all will be well!

I will definitely do that. I do not believe that God doesn’t see our marriage as valid.

My priest is correct and since he is my spiritual advisor I will be listening to him.

 

[ccmcmg]

I will definitely do that. I do not believe that God doesn’t see our marriage as valid.

My priest is correct and since he is my spiritual advisor I will be listening to him.

If I’m not mistaken, didn’t another priest give you different advice?

Anyway, he confirmed that I am unable to attend confession and communion. He also confirmed that I have to get my marriage convalidated. Until my wife agrees to it, I cannot go to confession or communion.

Apparently, I had spoken with a visiting priest when I posted this. Today I got to speak with the head priest of this church. He said that confession is fine, but no communion until the marriage is blessed by the church.

I think that anyone can go to confession, Catholic or not. It doesn’t have the same effect, but all are welcome. Communion, you must be a Catholic in good standing (no mortal sin) to receive. Now, as Catholics, if we are committing a mortal sin, we cannot receive communion, and also, if we are aware of the mortal sin, it is a further sin NOT to confess it in Confession, unless you are not sorry for it and plan to continue it.

 

[lonegreywolf20]

Well since I don’t see having sex with my wife as a mortal sin, than confession is not an issue.

No where in the Bible does it state that you must be married in the Catholic church for your church to be recognized by God. In the Bible, it is sex outside of marriage that is the sin. I am married, and I have full confidence that God sees me as such. I also have full confidence that God doesn’t want my marriage destroyed and abstaining will destroy my marriage and any chance of my wife going to Catholic church with me.

Look people, it may be years before she decides that she will go with me. Do you think it’s wise to abstain from sex for years and it will not have any impact on my marriage?

My mind is made up, and I am going to listen to the head priest of my parish, who is my spiritual advisor.

 

[Mike30]

There are Priests and even Bishops that deny the existence of Hell and Purgatory. There are Priests who don;t believe that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is necessary. There are Priests who believe that contraception should be a matter of choice and there are Priests who believe that women should be ordained as Priests. All of that is contrary to what the Church teaches.Your Priest may or may not fall into this category.

Well you can do whatever you want and believe whatever you want. But from everything I have read you don’t really seem to want to accept the teachings of the Catholic Church completely. As far as what you say the Priest has said, my own personal opinion is that you heard exactly what you wanted to hear and maybe, just maybe not what the Priest actually said or meant, that is unless of course he has his own agenda as do those mentioned above.

In any event, I wish you the best and hope all turns out well for you and your family. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed Advent Season

 

[lonegreywolf20]

There are Priests and even Bishops that deny the existence of Hell and Purgatory. There are Priests who don;t believe that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is necessary. There are Priests who believe that contraception should be a matter of choice and there are Priests who believe that women should be ordained as Priests. All of that is contrary to what the Church teaches.Your Priest may or may not fall into this category.

Well you can do whatever you want and believe whatever you want. But from everything I have read you don’t really seem to want to accept the teachings of the Catholic Church completely. As far as what you say the Priest has said, my own personal opinion is that you heard exactly what you wanted to hear and maybe, just maybe not what the Priest actually said or meant, that is unless of course he has his own agenda as do those mentioned above.

In any event, I wish you the best and hope all turns out well for you and your family. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a blessed Advent Season

In all the replies that keep telling me that I am wrong, not one has really addressed the fact that if I abstain it will ruin my marriage.

Is that conveniently being left out because people know that I am speaking the truth? Do you all not care that if I abstain from sex with my wife it will destroy my marriage and any chance that she will go to Catholic church with me?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

I will definitely do that. I do not believe that God doesn’t see our marriage as valid.

My priest is correct and since he is my spiritual advisor I will be listening to him.

It is very good to have a spiritual advisor and to follow your priest’s direction. Better to tell him your specific circumstances and let him advise you, than to try to follow the perhaps conflicting advice of people who only know you through the internet.