Was asked to give man on street $

[jreilly]

Today, as I was leaving work a man came across the street and asked me if I had a couple dollars he could have. I paused, looked at my purse and said no sorry. He said he was stranded and needed food. I had the money - that wasn’t a problem.

I have no idea what the truth is, and it doesn’t matter. I am so angry with myself for ignoring his request. I started home, heard some song on the radio and immediately turned around to find him. I saw him at the bus stop. I decided that I’d hurry and buy him a meal from McDonalds and bring it to him. When I got back he was gone.

I went to mass tonight and asked God for forgiveness and will be sure to get to confession by Saturday if not before.

Obviously this is weighing heavily on my conscience so I know I am at fault. Please pray for the gentleman that I so blindly ignored, and if you would be so kind, for me to see our Lord in those in need. Thank you.

 

[Poseidon]

Next time let him know you’re getting food before you buy, so he knows to stick around.

 

[onceablasphemer]

Don’t beat yourself up too much. Yes, it would have been best to offer to buy him some food. I don’t necessarily agree with giving them money though, because who knows if they are telling the truth about why they need it. Just don’t hesitate next time and offer to get whoever is asking some food.

 

[starryheart]

I’m praying for you and the man. That’s happened to me too and afterwards I say a prayer for them. Buying food instead of giving them money is a good idea. I normally keep 3 dollars in my pocket in case it happens.

 

[LoveRoses]

Don’t feel so badly about it. While people who have compassionate natures feel inspired to give to those less fortunate, you must remember that there are many fraudulent people who do this for a living.

I work in NYC. I encountered many people begging for money each and every day. The “professionals” are quite good, they have it done to a science. Then there are drug addicts who beg under the guise of needing food, when in reality they are just looking for drug money.

I still give of course, when I can. I’ve learned now to really discern about it. I pray often to God about this before leaving my office and walking down the street. I usually have a “feeling” or instinct now. Sometimes I’ll buy food for someone, other times I’ll just give cash. Then there are times when I just feel, at a gut level, that someone is being fraudulent.

Pray about it and listen to your inner voice. Obviously, most people cannot afford to just walk down the street and give and give and give, it’s not financially feasible. Give from your heart when you feel compelled.

 

[dsully]

I prayed…

 

[Arturo_Ortiz]

Don’t feel so badly about it. While people who have compassionate natures feel inspired to give to those less fortunate, you must remember that there are many fraudulent people who do this for a living.

I work in NYC. I encountered many people begging for money each and every day. The “professionals” are quite good, they have it done to a science. Then there are drug addicts who beg under the guise of needing food, when in reality they are just looking for drug money.

I still give of course, when I can. I’ve learned now to really discern about it. I pray often to God about this before leaving my office and walking down the street. I usually have a “feeling” or instinct now. Sometimes I’ll buy food for someone, other times I’ll just give cash. Then there are times when I just feel, at a gut level, that someone is being fraudulent.

Pray about it and listen to your inner voice. Obviously, most people cannot afford to just walk down the street and give and give and give, it’s not financially feasible. Give from your heart when you feel compelled.

That is true where I live as well. I live in Anaheim, and I am pretty sure that many of the people that ask for money are either addicted to drugs, or frauds. My mom has offered to buy or make food instead before, but most of the times they reject. I think that this is a technique that you can use to see if they are telling the truth, because if they really need food, then they would accept it.

I still give money, but I only choose to give money if they seem legit, otherwise I will give food instead

 

[andreashofer]

I would buy him a sandwich, say the Lord’s prayer with him and listen to what he talks. Then I find out what else I can do or just leave it at that.

Often, these occasions are a wonderful gift, where I can learn something about charity. Jesus is in these people.

I see by what you express that it taught you a lesson and you become more openhearted anyway through your loving concern You become a good Catholic.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

In the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, may this gentleman be satisfied with much food for his soul. By the intercession of St. Michael the Archangel, may we be feed with the truth.

 

[JRKH]

Don’t beat yourself up too much.

Agreed. You have recognized your error and are contrite. God has given you a great lesson.

Yes, it would have been best to offer to buy him some food.

Yes this is better - but sometimes we are in a hurry too and giving a couple of bucks is quicker.

I don’t necessarily agree with giving them money though, because who knows if they are telling the truth about why they need it.

Jesus did not ask us to ascertain the truthfulness of the beggar - but actually says to not resist evil (which would include lying) when he said:
39 But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; 40 and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; 41 and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. (Mt 5:39-42)
I know that we wish to give money to good causes and avoid supporting drug habits and such…but the instructions above do not ask us to make sure the beggar is legit or not…we are to give (to our ability) and if there is sin…it will be on their part, not ours.

Just don’t hesitate next time and offer to get whoever is asking some food.

Again - I agree. If you have the time…this is better.

Peace
James

 

[FromTheAshes777]

Most of the time if someone asks me for money I offer to buy them food. Every single time without fail that I have done this they’ve said, “no thanks,” and walked away.

There was one man that I encountered down on “the Strip” an area with lots of resteraunts near the university I graduated from. I encountered a man that said he was hungry. I told him, “wait right here and I’ll come back in 5 minutes with a meal for you.” As I walked away he waited, and I went into McDonald’s and ordered him a burger and a drink. When I came back outside he was gone.

I get it if you’re after drug, alcohol, or cigarette money, that someone giving you food is not what you’re after, but it’s free food. Even if you have bad intentions with the money why would you not accept food for free? I’ve never understood this.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

This is the very reason I tend NOT to give money to such people. There is no guarantee they will use the money to buy food, and if you offer to buy food for them, they usually decline. Giving them money just does them a disservice in the long run. Sort of the “Give a man a fish/Teach a man to fish” adage.

Most likely there is a homeless shelter or soup kitchen nearby who will feed him.

And I hate the way they always say “God bless” when you refuse to give them money; they are just trying to put you on a guilt trip.

 

[CrimsonThorn]

This is the very reason I tend NOT to give money to such people. There is no guarantee they will use the money to buy food, and if you offer to buy food for them, they usually decline. Giving them money just does them a disservice in the long run. Sort of the “Give a man a fish/Teach a man to fish” adage.

Most likely there is a homeless shelter or soup kitchen nearby who will feed him.

And I hate the way they always say “God bless” when you refuse to give them money; they are just trying to put you on a guilt trip.

Remember what Jesus tells St. Faustina… He doesnt demand success from you, but obedience.

I take this to mean that it doesnt really matter if you succeed in filling the person’s stomach, it only matters that you gave of yourself to help them.

 

[Orogeny]

The way I approach it is that if I have some money, even if it is just change, I give it. If they buy drugs or alcohol with it rather than food, well, once it leaves my hand it is their money.

I can’t put strings on the gift.

Peace

Tim

 

[Marc_Anthony]

The only sin there was lying. It would have been great of you to give this guy money, and you’re a nice person to try and make up for it by getting him a meal.

But stopping by homeless people really CAN be dangerous. Politically incorrect, but true nonetheless. What if he had whipped out a knife or gun and pointed it at you then asked for all of your money?

Of course, once you stopped you shouldn’t have lied, but this is a small thing and I don’t think you should beat yourself up for it.

 

[Marc_Anthony]

Most of the time if someone asks me for money I offer to buy them food. Every single time without fail that I have done this they’ve said, “no thanks,” and walked away.

There was one man that I encountered down on “the Strip” an area with lots of resteraunts near the university I graduated from. I encountered a man that said he was hungry. I told him, “wait right here and I’ll come back in 5 minutes with a meal for you.” As I walked away he waited, and I went into McDonald’s and ordered him a burger and a drink. When I came back outside he was gone.

I get it if you’re after drug, alcohol, or cigarette money, that someone giving you food is not what you’re after, but it’s free food. Even if you have bad intentions with the money why would you not accept food for free? I’ve never understood this.

 

[Joe_5859]

Most of the time if someone asks me for money I offer to buy them food. Every single time without fail that I have done this they’ve said, “no thanks,” and walked away.

There was one man that I encountered down on “the Strip” an area with lots of resteraunts near the university I graduated from. I encountered a man that said he was hungry. I told him, “wait right here and I’ll come back in 5 minutes with a meal for you.” As I walked away he waited, and I went into McDonald’s and ordered him a burger and a drink. When I came back outside he was gone.

I get it if you’re after drug, alcohol, or cigarette money, that someone giving you food is not what you’re after, but it’s free food. Even if you have bad intentions with the money why would you not accept food for free? I’ve never understood this.

I know, right? You’d think they’d still take the free meal even if it wasn’t what they were after. Maybe they think the time spent waiting for the food and eating the food will mean losing out on asking other people for money.

 

[LoveRoses]

For those commenting on how we “should not question” what the person is using the money for, but to just give from our heart, I will have to respectfully disagree.

If you live in a small community and do not encounter street beggars on a regular and continual basis, it may be easier on the heart and soul to simply give. If you live or work in a city such as NYC, as I do, it’s impossible to be giving to each and every beggar you encounter along the street, unless you are Bill Gates.

Having said that, we all should give from our hearts. As most people with limited/budgeted resources we try to give when we can and where we think it will be best served, at that moment. Since I know I cannot give money to each and every person I encounter on an average 20-block walk, for example, I pray to guide me if there is a particular person or need. God will. I’ve learned to discern spiritually. Intellectually, I’ve also learned to discern and have a greater sense of who is a fraud, since it’s an environment I’m compelled to be in each and every day.

 

[Orogeny]

For those commenting on how we “should not question” what the person is using the money for, but to just give from our heart, I will have to respectfully disagree.

As long as it is respectull!

If you live in a small community and do not encounter street beggars on a regular and continual basis, it may be easier on the heart and soul to simply give. If you live or work in a city such as NYC, as I do, it’s impossible to be giving to each and every beggar you encounter along the street, unless you are Bill Gates.

I live in a small community called Houston and I agree that you can’t give to everyone. I don’t, but I do give when I can.

Having said that, we all should give from our hearts. As most people with limited/budgeted resources we try to give when we can and where we think it will be best served, at that moment. Since I know I cannot give money to each and every person I encounter on an average 20-block walk, for example, I pray to guide me if there is a particular person or need. God will. I’ve learned to discern spiritually. Intellectually, I’ve also learned to discern and have a greater sense of who is a fraud, since it’s an environment I’m compelled to be in each and every day.

Well said.

Peace

Tim

 

[mgoforth]

Jesus did not ask us to ascertain the truthfulness of the beggar - but actually says to not resist evil (which would include lying) when he said:
39 But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; 40 and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; 41 and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. 42 Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. (Mt 5:39-42)
I know that we wish to give money to good causes and avoid supporting drug habits and such…but the instructions above do not ask us to make sure the beggar is legit or not…we are to give (to our ability) and if there is sin…it will be on their part, not ours.

But isn’t giving money (instead of food or clothing) to a homeless person whom we strongly suspect to be a drug addict/alcoholic immoral on our part? For instance, if the person already reeks of alcohol. The addiction is probably a big part of why that person is on the street in the first place. And if someone has become homeless as a result of chasing that high, he or she probably has little to no self control. In my mind, giving money to someone in that state is like handing a knife to a toddler…there’s very little chance of a good outcome. I’m not sure you can just say “well, if they make the wrong choice then it’s their sin” when it’s very easy to argue that person has a severely diminished capacity to make good choices with money.

I’m sorry, JRKH, but in all charity I think you’ve mis-applied that teaching from Christ. Let’s look at the full context:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.”

Isn’t Jesus teaching us not to seek revenge for personal wrongs? If, as you claim, we have no responsibility to resist evil, then why does the CCC tell us that self-defense (on a personal or even a national level in the case of the Just War Doctrine) can be legitimate - and in fact, defense of others is required in certain cases?

Doesn’t Christ expect us to use our common sense when we apply the teaching you presented above? Consider this totally unlikely hypothetical situation: Let’s say you were walking down the street past an abortion clinic, when a visibly pregnant woman with tears in her eyes stops you and asks to borrow $1000. Given the circumstances, shouldn’t we at least ask what she plans to do with that money? And if she can’t produce a convincing response that doesn’t involve killing her child, shouldn’t we refuse? If the teaching above really just means, “don’t resist evil, period”…does that mean we should help the woman even if she admits she wants an abortion? Surely not.

Again, that’s kind of a ridiculous example…but sometimes looking at extreme cases helps to put normal cases in perspective.

No offense intended to you, JRKH. Just trying to examine this teaching in more detail. :hug3:

 

[Proverbs31Lady]

What if that man was Jesus? We are all tested on how we treat the homeless from time to time. Sometimes we pass with flying colors and sometimes we fail with a loud thump. It seems that, , you merely fumbled because your conscience kicked it and you tried to do the right thing–that’s what really matters. You are truly a child of God. And, where you may have fumbled, one of God’s other children likely picked up the ball and helped the man. Next time, you can be the one to pick up a ball someone else fumbles.

You may not have been able to actually reach out to that particular homeless man. But, remember, there are many other homeless people in need. Now that you are spiritually alert in that area, maybe you can consider volunteering to help serve the needy.

Re-channel that guilt and those bad feelings into a positive energy that does more good.

And, in the future, you may want to purchase McDonalds gift certificates or pick up some food shelter business cards to distribute in case you genuinely want to give food rather than money. Or, you can pack an extra paper bag lunch and be ready to distribute it, if necessary.

While some homeless people may actually make up stories to get people to give them money, I find that sometimes those stories help them get the money they need for survival. It seems what they are trying to do is relate to us so that we’ll be more willing to help. It’s a shame that homeless people have to pretend they are something they are not, just to get some food and respect.

Reflect on how hard it would be for you to ask some stranger on the street for money and food if your car broke down and you had no other resource. Now, think of how hard it would be for a homeless person to ask, knowing that he or she couldn’t call a family member or co-worker to help even if they wanted.

We really should not take into account lies people tell to get food unless we are accounting for how desparate they must be.

I’m glad you tried to help the homeless man. And, I pray that you continue to reach out to the homeless in the future. And, I pray that the homeless man received the food and assitance he needed and will keep receiving it.

God Bless!