Was I acting meanly here?

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So there is this guy whom I knew for a year or two like 5 years ago in secondary school. We never really talked, I simply comforted him a bit when he was bullied in that school. Fast forward 5 years and I recently met him on a bus going back home. We talked a bit, he told me about what he was doing but nothing much came out of the conversation. He asked me out of the blue if I wanted to go with him to meet up with his buddies at the college he attended. I declined, saying I was busy and he took it well. Two weeks later he asks the same thing over on facebook. A month or so later he starts chatting with me and the conversation goes exactly like this:

Him: Hello
me: hi X, how are you?

Him: ok ta
Me: Good good, what’re you doing?

Him: fb
Me: other than facebook?

Him: just fb u ?
Me: stayiong up late XD

Him: yeah

do you have gf ?

Me: er, strange question, no, I don’t

Him: same

I used to have one but now none

I’m searching for that

Me: good for you

Him: yeah how about you
Me: X I like to keep stuff like that private, sorry lolo

Him: sorry me

Now when he asked me those things I was taken aback. This is a guy I don’t know anything about; I don’t feel comfortable striking up a conversation like that with him especially since he asked it so casually. My mother told me that I was being mean and socially awkward, for some reason and now I’m thinking that I was wrong in acting the way I did. What do you guys think?
 
mrajax said:
So there is this guy whom I knew for a year or two like 5 years ago in secondary school. We never really talked, I simply comforted him a bit when he was bullied in that school. Fast forward 5 years and I recently met him on a bus going back home. We talked a bit, he told me about what he was doing but nothing much came out of the conversation. He asked me out of the blue if I wanted to go with him to meet up with his buddies at the college he attended. I declined, saying I was busy and he took it well. Two weeks later he asks the same thing over on facebook. A month or so later he starts chatting with me and the conversation goes exactly like this:

Him: Hello
me: hi X, how are you?

Him: ok ta
Me: Good good, what’re you doing?

Him: fb
Me: other than facebook?

Him: just fb u ?
Me: stayiong up late XD

Him: yeah

do you have gf ?

Me: er, strange question, no, I don’t

Him: same

I used to have one but now none

I’m searching for that

Me: good for you

Him: yeah how about you
Me: X I like to keep stuff like that private, sorry lolo

Him: sorry me

Now when he asked me those things I was taken aback. This is a guy I don’t know anything about; I don’t feel comfortable striking up a conversation like that with him especially since he asked it so casually. My mother told me that I was being mean and socially awkward, for some reason and now I’m thinking that I was wrong in acting the way I did. What do you guys think?
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I think both of you are very awkward socially. But if indeed you keep stuff like that private then I have no idea why you
A: Told him you didn’t have a boyfriend.
B. Told millions of people on the internet.

To me, it just sounds like two people who have no idea how to communicate with each other. Perhaps you should move on.
 
Don’t worry about it. You’re not acting meanly and have no obligation to pursue a relationship with him if you don’t want to.
 
I agree…forget about it and move on.
You have not acted in a mean way at all.
Mary.
 
mrajax said:
So there is this guy whom I knew for a year or two like 5 years ago in secondary school.

Now when he asked me those things I was taken aback. This is a guy I don’t know anything about; I don’t feel comfortable striking up a conversation like that with him especially since he asked it so casually. My mother told me that I was being mean and socially awkward, for some reason and now I’m thinking that I was wrong in acting the way I did. What do you guys think?
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Is being mean or unkind to another person wrong?
 
It wasn’t mean, just awkward.

I am wondering why you even answered when you have no intention of actually being friends with him though.
 
Irishmom2 said:
What?
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The question was for the original poster whose conscience is questioning his action.

We all experience conscience. Sometimes we are sure there is something we have done wrong. We might try to justify it, but we feel guilt. Sometimes we are unsure if an act is right or wrong and we question ourselves. Should I feel guilt for doing X? Implicit in this human experience is there is right and wrong, good and evil. We do both. Implicit in the question is the acknowledgement that conscience exists.

The poster is an atheist/agnostic(???).

If we come to the intellectual understanding that certain behavior is objectively wrong, or immoral, or evil we have to ask why it is so. Is being cruel always wrong? What about rape? Is it ever ok for me to hate someone and murder their family?

If we admit there is objective morality and think about it enough we will come to the understanding that God exists.
 
grandfather said:
The question was for the original poster whose conscience is questioning his action.

We all experience conscience. Sometimes we are sure there is something we have done wrong. We might try to justify it, but we feel guilt. Sometimes we are unsure if an act is right or wrong and we question ourselves. Should I feel guilt for doing X? Implicit in this human experience is there is right and wrong, good and evil. We do both. Implicit in the question is the acknowledgement that conscience exists.

The poster is an atheist/agnostic(???).

If we come to the intellectual understanding that certain behavior is objectively wrong, or immoral, or evil we have to ask why it is so. Is being cruel always wrong? What about rape? Is it ever ok for me to hate someone and murder their family?

If we admit there is objective morality and think about it enough we will come to the understanding that God exists.
Click to expand...
Whether God exists or not is irrelevant grandfather. Please don’t post comments in order to push forward a theological debate please, I just came here seeking advice.

On that note, is it wrong for me to not try becoming closer friends with this guy?
 
mrajax said:
On that note, is it wrong for me to not try becoming closer friends with this guy?
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No, it is not wrong. We don’t have to be friends with everyone. But don’t engage him in conversation if you don’t want to be friends with him either.
 
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