G
Glutamine
Guest
Ok. I wanted people’s opinions on the situation that happened to me this past Sunday.
I was in California this past weekend for my brother’s weekend. On Sunday, there was a get-together at my aunt’s (from my father’s side) place. Upon arrival, I barely sat down for two minutes before I was offered a beer. Since I don’t drink, I said I don’t drink cause I don’t like the taste of beer. One of my cousins said he respected my decision. It became an issue as one of my other relatives (late 30’s, male), then said, guys who don’t drink must like boys (i’m 23). I was shocked that he said this considering that he doesn’t even know me. We’re related but i’ve had about 2 minutes conversation with him my entire life. I felt that he was attacking who I was. Anyways, I responded with, “You may think what you will of me. I don’t have to defend myself against you. You imply that i’m gay when you don’t really know who i am. I don’t think bad of you in any way. Just remember, that in the end, God will judge all of us.” I said this with a slightly elevated voice.
Now, I hear one of my relatives say that I was being disrespectful. And my dad said I should have just gotten up and left the table. I couldn’t get a clear answer out of him, but I believe he thinks I was being disrespectful too. Everyone seems to think that he was joking and that that is the kind of guy he is and that he jokes with everybody. My thinking is, that’s fine, but he doesn’t know me. I barely sat down for 2 minutes, before he said what he said.
Reflecting back, the best thing probably would have been to just leave the table. However, I don’t think what I said was disrespectful at all. I am Vietnamese, and respecting our elders is an important issue. We’re expected to just take whatever is said to us and never talk back. That’s fine and all, but I don’t think his comments were appropriate for the situation. (No one including my dad, seems to agree with me here, as they all just say that that’s the kind of guy he is). As well, people think that I was disrespectful, which as I said, I do not believe my words or actions had any disrespect in them. Considering his comments, I felt justified in saying what I said.
What does everyone else think?
I was in California this past weekend for my brother’s weekend. On Sunday, there was a get-together at my aunt’s (from my father’s side) place. Upon arrival, I barely sat down for two minutes before I was offered a beer. Since I don’t drink, I said I don’t drink cause I don’t like the taste of beer. One of my cousins said he respected my decision. It became an issue as one of my other relatives (late 30’s, male), then said, guys who don’t drink must like boys (i’m 23). I was shocked that he said this considering that he doesn’t even know me. We’re related but i’ve had about 2 minutes conversation with him my entire life. I felt that he was attacking who I was. Anyways, I responded with, “You may think what you will of me. I don’t have to defend myself against you. You imply that i’m gay when you don’t really know who i am. I don’t think bad of you in any way. Just remember, that in the end, God will judge all of us.” I said this with a slightly elevated voice.
Now, I hear one of my relatives say that I was being disrespectful. And my dad said I should have just gotten up and left the table. I couldn’t get a clear answer out of him, but I believe he thinks I was being disrespectful too. Everyone seems to think that he was joking and that that is the kind of guy he is and that he jokes with everybody. My thinking is, that’s fine, but he doesn’t know me. I barely sat down for 2 minutes, before he said what he said.
Reflecting back, the best thing probably would have been to just leave the table. However, I don’t think what I said was disrespectful at all. I am Vietnamese, and respecting our elders is an important issue. We’re expected to just take whatever is said to us and never talk back. That’s fine and all, but I don’t think his comments were appropriate for the situation. (No one including my dad, seems to agree with me here, as they all just say that that’s the kind of guy he is). As well, people think that I was disrespectful, which as I said, I do not believe my words or actions had any disrespect in them. Considering his comments, I felt justified in saying what I said.
What does everyone else think?