Was I not strict enough?

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

"Lux:

OK, if he is embedded in his faith, and still persists in defying Catholic teaching, I would not accompany or invite him to the Catholic Mass. I would be quite offended at his disrespect for me and my faith.

Maybe that’s what I meant with maybe not having been strict enough. I could have told him I would be very offended and not speak to him again if he came to communion… but I just made it clear to him what the teachings are (he already knows anyway), how I feel about them (it is very important to me to adhere to the teachings, but I feel torn because I don’t want to be uncharitable), but also that in the end it was up to him, not up to me, what he did.
Should I tell him not to come to mass/communion with me anymore out of respect for ME?

Kathrin

This would not be helpful. Perhaps you can say there seems to be a stalemate between you two on this issue, but you cannot be a part of such disrespect for your faith. If this is your only basis for the friendship, then it may be over, and perhaps it may be best, if you only have one mutual interest and you cannot agree on it.

It is never charitable to enable anyone.

Lux

 

[Kathrin]

Tell your friend that we don’t believe Jesus is in the bread. We believe Jesus IS the bread!

That is well said.

 

[Kathrin]

This would not be helpful.

I think you may be right. Things relating to Faith should come from the heart, and not depend on what other people think of you.

Just like it wouldn’t be as good for somebody to come to church with me just to be with ME, and not because of church.

On the other hand, it does say somewhere in one of St.Paul’s letters that we should for example not eat flesh if somebody is present who doesn’t believe eating flesh is good, so as to preserve HIS good conscience (something like that, right?). So that could also apply to to other matters of faith. That he would not do something even if he believes it would be right, out of respect for MY conscience.

Kathrin

 

[DominicVobiscum]

Invite your friend to join you with the priest for a blessing. This way your friend should not feel excluded.

 

[BayernAnhaenger]

Kind of an old problem resurfaced.

A protestant friend came to mass with me again today.
I told him he wasn’t allowed to come to communion.
This also felt kind of uncharitable though.
Now I was in a hard spot: I didn’t want to violate church teachings, and on the other hand I also didn’t want to prevent my friend who was sitting next to me from eating the SAVING bread, that is, kind of tell somebody they haven’t deserved eternal life??

I really didn’t know what to do so I let it up to him, I said something like " Well I’ will go to communion, I really can’t tell you what to do" (but he knew my stance on it). I just went toward the altar without really paying much attention on what he was doing. I think he came up front too.

Now I feel unsure if I should have been stricter. But what should I have done? Told him not to come at all (which I did at first, but then I felt guilty about that too, telling somebody not to come to church!). Ran out of the church? Told him I’d never speak to him again if he received communion?

Is it ok to leave the responsibiity up to him once I have told him what I feel about it (he knows the teachings, he has studied a lot of religion).

Kathrin

First off, upon consecration, it ceases to be bread. It is the BODY, BLOOD, SOUL and DIVINITY of Jesus Christ.

If he does not accept the Real Presence, much less all of Catholic teaching, HE IS NOT PERMITTED TO RECEIVE. You should have said no you are NOT allowed to receive.

Second,

how I feel about them (it is very important to me to adhere to the teachings, but I feel torn because I don’t want to be uncharitable),

The TRUE charitable thing to do would have been to tell him he was in error for receiving.

Being charitable is not equal to being nice. It is about the truth.

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Hi again,

I’m not sure I made myself clear…
"Lux:

This would not be helpful.

was mainly in response to

Kathrin:

I could have told him I would be very offended and not speak to him again if he came to communion…

I would not refuse to speak to him, but I would not go to Mass with him, if he persists in this defiance.

I think you may be right. Things relating to Faith should come from the heart, and not depend on what other people think of you.

Just like it wouldn’t be as good for somebody to come to church with me just to be with ME, and not because of church.

On the other hand, it does say somewhere in one of St.Paul’s letters that we should for example not eat flesh if somebody is present who doesn’t believe eating flesh is good, so as to preserve HIS good conscience (something like that, right?). So that could also apply to to other matters of faith. That he would not do something even if he believes it would be right, out of respect for MY conscience.

Kathrin

I do not see anything wrong with anyone coming to Church “just to be with someone”, if they did not receive. I have asked for company on some occasions. You never know what blessings they may receive, as long as they are respectful at Mass and do not defy Catholic teaching.

God bless you —you are certainly trying to help your friend–I will join you in prayer that he accepts Catholic teaching on this issue, and possibly converts in the future.

Lux

 

[LeroyCRHP]

Let us know how the next Sunday goes

 

[Kathrin]

Let us know how the next Sunday goes

It wasn’t a Sunday Mass, it was a daily mass on a weekday evening.
He hasn’t come to church with me very often, it hasn’t worked out very often anyway.