Was I not strict enough?

[japhy]

I think the priest just wanted to stress that it wasn’t my responsibility whether he went or not.

When does something like this become your responsibility? Is each man an island all of the sudden? I think the “not your responsibility” excuse is used to make people feel better about inaction rather than to help the other person.

Please don’t think I’m attacking or criticizing you, Kathrin. You were in a difficult situation, you were not sure how to handle it, how far to go, etc. But I don’t think the priest you talked to has helped you in your situation at all.

 

[Kathrin]

When does
Please don’t think I’m attacking or criticizing you, Kathrin. You were in a difficult situation, you were not sure how to handle it, how far to go, etc. But I don’t think the priest you talked to has helped you in your situation at all.

I think he has, and if only through the fact that I went to confession at the same time, so if I did do something wrong, I admitted it before the Lord and He has forgiven me.

I also must say I don’t remember word-for-word what the priest said.
(By the way, am I allowed to post here about something that went on in confession? Isn’t there a confidentiality law? Or does that only count for the priest?)

Kathrin

 

[passus]

I think he has, and if only through the fact that I went to confession at the same time, so if I did do something wrong, I admitted it before the Lord and He has forgiven me.

I also must say I don’t remember word-for-word what the priest said.
(By the way, am I allowed to post here about something that went on in confession? Isn’t there a confidentiality law? Or does that only count for the priest?)

Kathrin

Yes, the seal of Confession by which a priest can under no circumstances reveal the identity and sin confessed by a penitent in the confessional. The seal of Confession is binding only on the priest, but of course you wouldn’t want to divulge anything terribly personal to us.

 

[japhy]

I think he has, and if only through the fact that I went to confession at the same time, so if I did do something wrong, I admitted it before the Lord and He has forgiven me.

I didn’t mean to discredit or impugn your confession!

 

[JPUSC]

He should become a Catholic so he can truly receive the Saving Bread.

*The angelic bread
becomes the bread of men;
The heavenly bread
ends all prefigurations:
What wonder!
a poor and humble servant
consumes the Lord. *

 

[Kathrin]

I didn’t mean to discredit or impugn your confession!

Ah, no, I didn’t take it that way.

 

[Newbie2]

But for him, it wasn’t the SAVING bread.

If he knows he’s not, as a Protestant, allowed to receive, but he does anyway, he is unworthy and gets none of the graces of Communion anyway.

I don’t think it’s our place to decide that he didn’t receive some kind of benefit/grace from this sacrament.

That being said, he shouldn’t receive, and if he knows it and understands why, he bears some responsibility for his action.

As long as the OP has explained to the best of her ability why it’s inappropriate for him to receive, perhaps suggested RCIA, she’s done her part.

 

[Kathrin]

About suggesting RCIA - we have had many discussions about Catholicism and Protestantism and he seems to be pretty much enbedded in his own faith at this point, he goes to prayer services at his Protestant church a lot.

Kathrin

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

OK, if he is embedded in his faith, and still persists in defying Catholic teaching, I would not accompany or invite him to the Catholic Mass. I would be quite offended at his disrespect for me and my faith.

Lux

 

[Kathrin]

Maybe that’s what I meant with maybe not having been strict enough. I could have told him I would be very offended and not speak to him again if he came to communion… but I just made it clear to him what the teachings are (he already knows anyway), how I feel about them (it is very important to me to adhere to the teachings, but I feel torn because I don’t want to be uncharitable), but also that in the end it was up to him, not up to me, what he did.

Should I tell him not to come to mass/communion with me anymore out of respect for ME?

Kathrin

 

[LeroyCRHP]

I received communion at my wedding thanks to my great Father in Law getting permission somehow.

This is a difficult situation, but no different than reminding someone that missed mass that is a mortal sin. I think you did a good job telling that person. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

I also, during our conversation, learned that there ARE exceptions where a non-catholic actually CAN receive communion, if they are really ready for it.Kathrin

 

[LeroyCRHP]

I would just keep reminding him that this is only for Catholics and maybe he should go through RCIA. He obviously has an interest in the church (and maybe you ) and the Catholic aspect should be nutured to the extent possible.

Let he who is without sin cast the fist stone…we can’t be running around condemming everyone we know that sins.

Should I tell him not to come to mass/communion with me anymore out of respect for ME?Kathrin

 

[twosweetgirls]

Here’s something I’ll tell my non-Catholic family members and friends (if the situation arose like yours): No, they can’t take Holy Eucharist UNLESS they truly believe it to be the Real, True, Indwelling Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, Triune God, and only then after they’ve been properly received into the Catholic Church on that belief.

The sad fact is that many of our non-Catholic brothers and sisters simply do not (and/or will not) believe this, that it’s mere symbology that would do just as well with Welches’ and saltines. So, you can be totally comfortable and truthful saying to them, “well, if you don’t believe that Holy Eucharist TRULY IS JESUS, then why do you insist on partaking of something you don’t believe in?”

Maybe something like that will help him (her?) see more clearly why they should refrain from partaking Holy Eucharist. Then, if they want to know more, you can refer them to your Priest.

 

[Kathrin]

So, you can be totally comfortable and truthful saying to them, “well, if you don’t believe that Holy Eucharist TRULY IS JESUS, then why do you insist on partaking of something you don’t believe in?”

We did talk about this.
I think my friend’s reply was that Jesus is everywhere and in everything, so of course ALSO in the bread.

He also said that his understanidng was that the difference between Catholics and Protestants is that Catholics believe that Jesus is sacrificed again every time mass is celebrated?
This is a bit of a confusing matter to me and maybe worth its separate post…

 

[benedictgal]

We did talk about this.
I think my friend’s reply was that Jesus is everywhere and in everything, so of course ALSO in the bread.

He also said that his understanidng was that the difference between Catholics and Protestants is that Catholics believe that Jesus is sacrificed again every time mass is celebrated?
This is a bit of a confusing matter to me and maybe worth its separate post…

No. We don’t believe that Jesus is sacrificed again and again. What we believe is that the Mass makes present for again that moment of our salvation. The veil between heaven and earth, and tme and space, is lifted. We are just as much at the Last Supper, the Passion, Death and Resurection as were the Blessed Mother, Sts. John and Mary Magdalene as well as St. Peter and the other surviving Apostles.

We receive the living body of Jesus Christ. We receive his glorified Body. Remember that when the priest places a fraction of the Sacred Host into th Precious Blood, the Body and Blood are reunited. That constitutes the Resurrection.

 

[Kathrin]

He obviously has an interest in the church (and maybe you

Haha, yeah, I know… actually though, I made it clear to him from the beginning that I wasn’t interested romantically, and somehow we were able to develop a platonic friendship

 

[Kathrin]

No. We don’t believe that Jesus is sacrificed again and again. What we believe is that the Mass makes present for again that moment of our salvation. The veil between heaven and earth, and tme and space, is lifted…

YES! That is exactly how it makes sense to me too! You put it in very good words. Can quote you when I e-mail my friend?

 

[CoolRich59]

In the missals here, there is a statement (usually on the back of the cover page) that explains who can and can’t receive and the reason why. Perhaps you could show that to him.

This is just what I did with a non-Catholic friend of mine. I opened the Missal to the inside back cover and said “please read this”. I went to Communion; he didn’t. No hard feelings.

 

[twosweetgirls]

We did talk about this.
I think my friend’s reply was that Jesus is everywhere and in everything, so of course ALSO in the bread.

Tell your friend that we don’t believe Jesus is in the bread. We believe Jesus IS the bread!

You could also tell your friend if he thinks Jesus is everywhere and in everything, why doesn’t he just pray over a donut (or a string bean, or a Cheezit or other foodstuff) and eat that as his communion? Of course he’ll look at you strange, but that’s why Catholics don’t have a communion with mere things or symbols–the Bread and Wine BECOME the actual Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, and that’s what we believe. We don’t partake of Holy Eucharist simply because we think that Jesus “is everywhere and in everything”, as your friend thinks. It’s way, way, way more than that!

Does that make sense?

 

[benedictgal]

YES! That is exactly how it makes sense to me too! You put it in very good words. Can quote you when I e-mail my friend?

Of course you can, only my words came from my parochial vicar.