Was I supposed to go to mass today?

[LaSainte]

My son was baptized today in a very beautiful hour-long ceremony. It entailed everything that a mass normally does for the most part, 2 readings, responsorial psalm, gospel and homily. I had originally thought that there would also be a consecration and Eucharist, but that part was missing. It took place at 1 and there was a mass at 5, but we didn’t go. We were busy doing family celebration-type things.

My question is: were we supposed to attend mass on top of this, or would we have been dispensed because of the baptismal ceremony? I would hate to think that we committed a mortal sin by not going to mass, as it would have been logistically almost impossible to attend with the kids and family activities that took place throughout the day.

 

[jmcrae]

It’s too bad that the Baptism ceremony didn’t take place during a Mass. You did, in fact, miss your Sunday Mass obligation today. I can’t really judge whether this was “mortal” or not - next Saturday when you go to Confession, mention it to the priest and ask his advice.

I suppose he was just assuming that you had already been to Mass in the morning.

 

[Vico]

My son was baptized today in a very beautiful hour-long ceremony. It entailed everything that a mass normally does for the most part, 2 readings, responsorial psalm, gospel and homily. I had originally thought that there would also be a consecration and Eucharist, but that part was missing. It took place at 1 and there was a mass at 5, but we didn’t go. We were busy doing family celebration-type things.

My question is: were we supposed to attend mass on top of this, or would we have been dispensed because of the baptismal ceremony? I would hate to think that we committed a mortal sin by not going to mass, as it would have been logistically almost impossible to attend with the kids and family activities that took place throughout the day.

You mean guilty of a mortal sin? To be mortal you would have to know it was necessary to assist as Mass besides the baptism, or you intentionally neglected to know if it was necessary.

 

[thistle]

My son was baptized today in a very beautiful hour-long ceremony. It entailed everything that a mass normally does for the most part, 2 readings, responsorial psalm, gospel and homily. I had originally thought that there would also be a consecration and Eucharist, but that part was missing. It took place at 1 and there was a mass at 5, but we didn’t go. We were busy doing family celebration-type things.

My question is: were we supposed to attend mass on top of this, or would we have been dispensed because of the baptismal ceremony? I would hate to think that we committed a mortal sin by not going to mass, as it would have been logistically almost impossible to attend with the kids and family activities that took place throughout the day.

If the baptism took place outside of Mass then you are obliged to go to Mass. If you didn’t then you did not fulfill your obligation.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

My son was baptized today in a very beautiful hour-long ceremony. It entailed everything that a mass normally does for the most part, 2 readings, responsorial psalm, gospel and homily. I had originally thought that there would also be a consecration and Eucharist, but that part was missing. It took place at 1 and there was a mass at 5, but we didn’t go. We were busy doing family celebration-type things.

My question is: were we supposed to attend mass on top of this, or would we have been dispensed because of the baptismal ceremony? I would hate to think that we committed a mortal sin by not going to mass, as it would have been logistically almost impossible to attend with the kids and family activities that took place throughout the day.

If there was no consecration and no Eucharist, what you attended was not a Mass but a baptism ceremony. So yes, you should have gone to Mass.

You didn’t commit a mortal sin if you did not KNOW that you should have attended Mass and that the baptism ceremony would not fulfll the obligation, but in future I’d recommend that you consult very carefully with the priest. If he had told you, “the ceremony will be held Sunday and will consist of readings, gospel, homily” then you’d have been able to say, “what about the Eucharist” and he’d have said, "Oh, no Eucharist, this is a baptism ceremony and does not fulfill your Sunday obligation that day’ and you’d say, “Oh gee, I guess we’ll have to go to Mass on Saturday before or later on Sunday then.”

Not all baptisms are held outside of Mass, so especially since it seemed to ‘start’ like a normal Mass, and since many baptisms are held during Mass, it’s really not surprising that you would have assumed that the baptism you were going to would be in a Mass and would fulfill your obligation.

So when you see Father at confession next week, mention the situation and I’m sure he will understand and extend forgiveness for whatever sin there may have been. And hopefully this will help others because I’m pretty certain that once Father knows what happened with your case, he’ll make it extra clear in future, “People this is a baptism ceremony you’ll be attending on Sunday but it doesn’t take the place of Mass. It’s extra. Make sure you attend Mass either on the Saturday or at some point on the Sunday, but don’t think the baptism fulfils your obligation.”

And congratulations on the baptism of your son. May God bless and keep you and your family in His loving hands all through this life and in the life to come.

 

[LaSainte]

Ugh. Isn’t it excusable if attending mass would be unreasonably inconvenient? I hate to use the word “inconvenient” to describe mass, but honestly, it would have been nearly impossible to attend in the morning. We had to leave the house at 12:15 to make the baptism, and with family in town and a 3 month old and a 2 year old, people staying at our house from out of town and trying to get everyone ready and coordinated and out the door…I was awake before dawn and still barely made it on time. We didn’t get back from lunch until after 4, at which point we had cake and saw some of our family off and at that point the kids and we were totally exhausted. As it was, our infant pretty much screamed through the whole baptism (I had to actually breastfeed him during because he refused to take a bottle)! Taking our kids to mass would have been almost impossible and we had nobody to stay and watch them. I cannot imagine that I would actually have to go to confession for such an “offense”.

It did occur to me that the Eucharist wasn’t preset and that therefore it wasn’t a proper mass, but going back to church while everyone was at our house and trying to get on the road and such would have been total insanity, not to mention rude. I would think that the “care of infants” clause would certainly apply, not to mention simple hospitality. Were we supposed to just throw everyone out of the house so we could go BACK to church? Really?

 

[Tarpeian_Rock]

Ugh. Isn’t it excusable if attending mass would be unreasonably inconvenient? I hate to use the word “inconvenient” to describe mass, but honestly, it would have been nearly impossible to attend in the morning. We had to leave the house at 12:15 to make the baptism, and with family in town and a 3 month old and a 2 year old, people staying at our house from out of town and trying to get everyone ready and coordinated and out the door…I was awake before dawn and still barely made it on time. We didn’t get back from lunch until after 4, at which point we had cake and saw some of our family off and at that point the kids and we were totally exhausted. As it was, our infant pretty much screamed through the whole baptism! Taking our kids to mass would have been almost impossible and we had nobody to stay and watch them. I cannot imagine that I would actually have to go to confession for such an “offense”.

It did occur to me that the Eucharist wasn’t preset and that therefore it wasn’t a proper mass, but going back to church while everyone was at our house and trying to get on the road and such would have been total insanity, not to mention rude. I would think that the “care of infants” clause would certainly apply, not to mention simple hospitality. Were we supposed to just throw everyone out of the house so we could go BACK to church? Really?

What about one of the Saturday vigil Masses?

 

[LaSainte]

What about one of the Saturday vigil Masses?

We were on the road yesterday for 3 hours and had family over almost immediately after. To be honest, it never occurred to me to go. My husband had to take our only car to pick up the godmother at the airport at 4:30, so the vigil would have been impossible anyway I still thought that the baptism was probably a mass at that point. I didn’t fully realize that it wasn’t until later last night.

 

[Genovefa]

I can’t help, but I’ve been wondering about situations such as these. I am considering conversion, and as a woman/wife, I do not always have control as to what I do and when I do it–especially when my extended family is involved. I just might not be permitted to go in some situations. This has me worried. If I do not have my own transportation or my husband requests that I not go, I don’t see that I have much choice.

I also have the added problem in that my husband frequently needs my assistance due to a head injury he suffered three years ago. I guess this would fall under the category of “helping the sick”, but I do not know.

 

[LaSainte]

I can’t help, but I’ve been wondering about situations such as these. I am considering conversion, and as a woman/wife, I do not always have control as to what I do and when I do it–especially when my extended family is involved. I just might not be permitted to go in some situations. This has me worried. If I do not have my own transportation or my husband requests that I not go, I don’t see that I have much choice.

I also have the added problem in that my husband frequently needs my assistance due to a head injury he suffered three years ago. I guess this would fall under the category of “helping the sick”, but I do not know.

I feel your pain! Can you go to Hell on a technicality? I would think not.

 

[Genovefa]

I feel your pain! Can you go to Hell on a technicality? I would think not.

I wouldn’t think so either.

 

[WetCatechumen]

I feel your pain! Can you go to Hell on a technicality? I would think not.

No! Of course not.

 

[Vico]

I feel your pain! Can you go to Hell on a technicality? I would think not.

For death in a state of mortal sin, one can go to Hell:
CCC [1855](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1855.htm’) Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God’s law;…

No hell:
CCC [1863](javascriptpenWindow(‘cr/1863.htm’) Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. …

 

[LaSainte]

Thanks for the replies, but honestly, I cannot see how this warrants a completely seperate trip to confession before taking communion. I know that mass is an obligation, but it was just logistically impossible with everything that was going on. It’s not like we blew it off. We had a very lovely, holy day that was very hectic surrounded by family and friends. I think getting worked up about it would be overly scrupulous.

 

[puzzleannie]

My son was baptized today in a very beautiful hour-long ceremony. It entailed everything that a mass normally does for the most part, 2 readings, responsorial psalm, gospel and homily. I had originally thought that there would also be a consecration and Eucharist, but that part was missing. It took place at 1 and there was a mass at 5, but we didn’t go. We were busy doing family celebration-type things.

My question is: were we supposed to attend mass on top of this, or would we have been dispensed because of the baptismal ceremony? I would hate to think that we committed a mortal sin by not going to mass, as it would have been logistically almost impossible to attend with the kids and family activities that took place throughout the day.

it depends on custom in your parish
Baptism is supposed to be conferred in the context of Mass, but that is not always possible, so your parish, like others, may baptize at another time, with only a Liturgy of the Word.

In that case, yes you still have a Sunday Mass obligation as well. You cannot commit a mortal sin by accident or oversight, it has to be intentional. I would have helped had the priest or deacon reminded the families of their Mass obligation, or warned you during the preparation classes to schedule the weekend activities to include Mass.

Ugh. Isn’t it excusable if attending mass would be unreasonably inconvenient? I hate to use the word “inconvenient” to describe mass, but honestly, it would have been nearly impossible to attend in the morning. ?

you do what you can do, with all of those out of towners present too bad somebody could not help you with the kids, and it is sad that this was presumbably a Catholic family who did not see the need to schedule Mass sometime during the weekend.

This is the very reason the rule about celebrating in the context of Mass, if at all possible, was made. My bet is 90% of families who baptize on a given weekend will not be attending Mass. I hope this pastor changes the custom, but the complaints from parishioners at baptizing 10-20 children are going to be intense (so much for being an evangelizing parish).

I still fault those in charge of preparing families for baptism for not telling them what would be happening, and why the Mass obligation would not be met. You can’t read minds.

 

[jmcrae]

you do what you can do, with all of those out of towners present too bad somebody could not help you with the kids, and it is sad that this was presumbably a Catholic family who did not see the need to schedule Mass sometime during the weekend.

I am also very surprised that Grandma, or one of the god parents, didn’t insist on going to Mass at some point during the weekend, and suggest making it a family outing.

Even so, I agree that something should have been mentioned at the prep session, that those being baptized on the Sunday afternoon would still have to go to Mass at a different time.

 

[LaSainte]

I just don’t think it really occurred to anyone. Also, I kind of come from a family where “church is church”…so if you spend an hour and a half at a baptism, you went to church that day. It was strange because the baptism was at one, right in the middle of the day. To go to a seperate mass would have required ANOTHER trip to church either before that (not happening with trying to get everyone ready and out the door, fed, dressed for the occasion, etc.), or after that (which at that point, as I said, would have been torture on the kids, not to mention almost impossible given the time frame of going to lunch and back to the house for cake and seeing the relatives off). It just wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t see this as a big deal given the circumstances. I mean, we are not required to kill ourselves to get to mass. This was just one of those scenarios where it wasn’t going to happen.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I just don’t think it really occurred to anyone. Also, I kind of come from a family where “church is church”…so if you spend an hour and a half at a baptism, you went to church that day. It was strange because the baptism was at one, right in the middle of the day. To go to a seperate mass would have required ANOTHER trip to church either before that (not happening with trying to get everyone ready and out the door, fed, dressed for the occasion, etc.), or after that (which at that point, as I said, would have been torture on the kids, not to mention almost impossible given the time frame of going to lunch and back to the house for cake and seeing the relatives off). It just wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t see this as a big deal given the circumstances. I mean, we are not required to kill ourselves to get to mass. This was just one of those scenarios where it wasn’t going to happen.

Hope it’s ok to point something out to you.

Your first post seemed like you honestly did not know there would not be a Mass.

The rest of your posts seem to be justifiying missing Mass.

If you didn’t know, fine God understands if there was a misunderstaing on your part. Leave it at that, don’t justify by saying it was inconvenient etc.

Either you knew or you didn’t And if you honestly didn’t know, leave it at that.

 

[puzzleannie]

I . It was strange because the baptism was at one, right in the middle of the day. .

I agree, which is why I still fault the parish for not saying, baptisms are at 1pm immediately after the Noon Mass, so to make it more convenient your family can attend that Mass. The expected you to intuit this, they should have made it explicit. If I were coming from out of town I too would have expected at this time of day it would be part of Mass.

but avoid the habit of making excuses for missing Mass simply because it becomes easier to do so each time, and it will come back to bite you when this kid is old enough to call you on it!

 

[LaSainte]

Hope it’s ok to point something out to you.

Your first post seemed like you honestly did not know there would not be a Mass.

The rest of your posts seem to be justifiying missing Mass.

If you didn’t know, fine God understands if there was a misunderstaing on your part. Leave it at that, don’t justify by saying it was inconvenient etc.

Either you knew or you didn’t And if you honestly didn’t know, leave it at that.

Sorry for the confusion. We found out the night before and logistically it would have been untenable to go to mass.