Was I supposed to go to mass today?

[LaSainte]

I agree, which is why I still fault the parish for not saying, baptisms are at 1pm immediately after the Noon Mass, so to make it more convenient your family can attend that Mass. The expected you to intuit this, they should have made it explicit. If I were coming from out of town I too would have expected at this time of day it would be part of Mass.

but avoid the habit of making excuses for missing Mass simply because it becomes easier to do so each time, and it will come back to bite you when this kid is old enough to call you on it!

Haha. Ok I see what you mean. Actually at my parish there isn’t even a noon mass! The mass was at 11. If they honestly expected people to attend mass that day, it would have been 2 trips to church, church being 15 minutes away, and our mass is 1:15 long, so it would have been waiting outside with a 2 year old and 3 month old for 45 minutes. This is IF we managed to make it to church in time. Pretty impossible that morning. A strange setup if they actually expected parents to be able to attend.

 

[Castello]

Mass at 11, go get lunch then come back for the baptism. Makes sense to me.

Don’t take missing mass lightly, stop by Confession this week and mention it.

 

[Genovefa]

I sounds like to me that you did not consciously and willfully miss Mass.

Also, I wonder if some consider the role that many women have to take as wife/mother/adult daughter that precludes us from making autonomous choices. We have many to consider other than ourselves.

 

[jmcrae]

I sounds like to me that you did not consciously and willfully miss Mass.

Also, I wonder if some consider the role that many women have to take as wife/mother/adult daughter that precludes us from making autonomous choices. We have many to consider other than ourselves.

Quite honestly, I’m an adult married woman with children, and I’m the only Catholic in my family, and I have to say, it’s never been an issue - my family “gets” that I have to go to Mass on Sundays - and that they are welcome to come if they so choose, but in any case, that’s where I am on Sunday mornings, with or without them. I’ve never made it seem “optional” and maybe that’s why they just accept it as is, but I’ve never had any kind of push-back or difficulty getting out to Mass on Sunday mornings.

 

[Castello]

Quite honestly, I’m an adult married woman with children, and I’m the only Catholic in my family, and I have to say, it’s never been an issue - my family “gets” that I have to go to Mass on Sundays - and that they are welcome to come if they so choose, but in any case, that’s where I am on Sunday mornings, with or without them. I’ve never made it seem “optional” and maybe that’s why they just accept it as is, but I’ve never had any kind of push-back or difficulty getting out to Mass on Sunday mornings.

AMEN.

My husband did convert years after I did, but, he has always been supportive of my faith. My protestant family on both sides understand that I will be going to Mass on HDOs, Christmas, Easter, etc.

 

[Genovefa]

I am talking about care-giving roles that women have…we can’t just pick up and leave everyone to fend for themselves at times.

 

[jmcrae]

I am talking about care-giving roles that women have…we can’t just pick up and leave everyone to fend for themselves at times.

Well, not a baby, and not an elderly person - but everyone else can manage for a couple of hours until you get back. They aren’t as helpless as they’d like you to think they are.

 

[LaSainte]

Mass at 11, go get lunch then come back for the baptism. Makes sense to me.

Don’t take missing mass lightly, stop by Confession this week and mention it.

Seriously? With a breastfeeding baby and a 2 year old? So mass gets out at 12-12:15 and what? I run to the car, whip it out and try breastfeeding my infant real quick while my husband and 2 year old do what? Then we somehow manage to go to lunch and get back in time for a 1:00 baptism? Is this a joke?

 

[Castello]

I am talking about care-giving roles that women have…we can’t just pick up and leave everyone to fend for themselves at times.

I’m a wife and mother - does not mean I am chained to the stove 24X7.

They can handle an hour while I go to Mass, or, they can go to Mass with me.

 

[LaSainte]

I am talking about care-giving roles that women have…we can’t just pick up and leave everyone to fend for themselves at times.

Thank you! I have a 2 year old and a breastfeeding 3 month old. My mother and step-father AND the godmother were staying at my house and had to be fed breakfast and coffee, the babies had to be given baths and dressed in their best clothes, breastfeeding was going on all morning, I had to shower, get dressed and do my hair and makeup and my husband also had to get himself ready and help take care of the kids and entertain the family while all this transpired. It was madness and we were STILL almost late getting out the door. After an hour and 15 minute ceremony during which I had to breastfeed my screaming infant and my brother and father in law had to spend in the back of the church with my 2 year old, we drove to a place that we THOUGHT had a playground for the 3 children to have lunch and during which both kids’ diapers needed changing and more breastfeeding done. We left lunch, went home for cake and ice cream and my brother in law, their 2 kids, his wife, my mother and step-father left immediately from there to drive 10 and 3 hours home respectively, which was around 5. At what point EXACTLY was I supposed to jet off to church AGAIN?

Seriously, this is ridiculous!

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Thank you! I have a 2 year old and a breastfeeding 3 month old. My mother and step-father AND the godmother were staying at my house and had to be fed breakfast and coffee, the babies had to be given baths and dressed in their best clothes, breastfeeding was going on all morning, I had to shower, get dressed and do my hair and makeup and my husband also had to get himself ready and help take care of the kids and entertain the family while all this transpired. It was madness and we were STILL almost late getting out the door. After an hour and 15 minute ceremony during which I had to breastfeed my screaming infant and my brother and father in law had to spend in the back of the church with my 2 year old, we drove to a place that we THOUGHT had a playground for the 3 children to have lunch and during which both kids’ diapers needed changing and more breastfeeding done. We left lunch, went home for cake and ice cream and my brother in law, their 2 kids, his wife, my mother and step-father left immediately from there to drive 10 and 3 hours home respectively, which was around 5. At what point EXACTLY was I supposed to jet off to church AGAIN?

Seriously, this is ridiculous!

Oh, I remember when we baptized our second son…Very much like what you just described, minus the out of town relatives. Just getting a 3 year old and a baby ready and fed and cleaned up and dressed and having enough time to get yourself ready is a miracle! I do not think you have anything to confess. But I do think the community ought to do baptisms during Mass if you can’t have Mass included in the baptisms. In one parish, it’s always during Mass, the last Sunday of the month. The priest is VERY determined that this is a community event, which I love. Yes, it means Mass is a little longer. But seeing new little Catholics is worth it.

 

[LaSainte]

Oh, I remember when we baptized our second son…Very much like what you just described, minus the out of town relatives. Just getting a 3 year old and a baby ready and fed and cleaned up and dressed and having enough time to get yourself ready is a miracle! I do not think you have anything to confess. But I do think the community ought to do baptisms during Mass if you can’t have Mass included in the baptisms. In one parish, it’s always during Mass, the last Sunday of the month. The priest is VERY determined that this is a community event, which I love. Yes, it means Mass is a little longer. But seeing new little Catholics is worth it.

I like this idea. That way, if people don’t want to go to the baptisms, they can simply. Boise to attend another mass.

Although I must say that I loved the ceremony at our church. They read the story of John the Baptist and did 2 seperate oil anointings and then blessed the parents. It was lovely. Really the only thing missing was the Eucharist.

 

[Genovefa]

I am not Catholic yet, so I can’t really say anything about the obligation.

As I said earlier in the thread, my husband was seriously injured when we were in a bad accident a few years ago, so he needs me more than most. I am not tied to a stove, however.

That being said, if I had a house full of guests, several young children, and could not figure out how to get to mass without burdening those I am called to care for, I would not think it wrong to miss. Perhaps I am old-fashioned.

I also believe that if my husband, and to some extent my parents, requested that I not attend for some reason, I would need honor them. (However, my parents and husband are very supportive of me–so please don’t get the impression that they boss me around.)

I only participate in this thread because I am considering converting. I have some concern that the “rules” are flexible enough to account for my situation. Real people don’t always fit into a perfect little box–unfortunately.

 

[Castello]

Sorry, but, Christ died in agony on the cross. He suffered more pain than any human being could bear.

Many people have died horrible gruesome martyrs deaths for their faith.

We cannot be a tiny bit inconvenienced to add an extra hour to our weekend of fun for Mass? Skip the cake and party. What kind of godparents would NOT help their godchild get to Mass on the day of their baptism? That many adults in the house and no one could help this mother by cooking breakfast - or heck, go buy a box of donuts, help dress the kids and keep them entertained during Mass on Sunday morning?

And an hour and fifteen minute baptism? Seriously? I have been around parishes all over the US, unless this was a baptism for several (10 or more) children, I cannot fathom what they would do to take that long. A baptism takes 20-30 minutes tops - even an OF baptism, add in extra readings of the day - that is 10 more minutes (if they are very very very long readings). What on earth did they do for the other half hour?

I am sorry that your family is so unwilling to help you. It is heartbreaking.

 

[LaSainte]

As I said, it was a beautiful ceremony. An anointing of the chest, a water baptism, an anointing of the forehead, a blessing of the mothers, a blessing of the fathers, 2 readings, a responsorial psalm, a gospel (about the baptism of Jesus), etc. It was awesome. I do not fault our church in the least. It was lovely.

Nobody was dismissing the sacrifice of Jesus.

 

[LaSainte]

I am not Catholic yet, so I can’t really say anything about the obligation.

As I said earlier in the thread, my husband was seriously injured when we were in a bad accident a few years ago, so he needs me more than most. I am not tied to a stove, however.

That being said, if I had a house full of guests, several young children, and could not figure out how to get to mass without burdening those I am called to care for, I would not think it wrong to miss. Perhaps I am old-fashioned.

I also believe that if my husband, and to some extent my parents, requested that I not attend for some reason, I would need honor them. (However, my parents and husband are very supportive of me–so please don’t get the impression that they boss me around.)

I only participate in this thread because I am considering converting. I have some concern that the “rules” are flexible enough to account for my situation. Real people don’t always fit into a perfect little box–unfortunately.

Please convert god knows your heart.

 

[Genovefa]

Please convert god knows your heart.

Thank you,

I am a bit concerned about the hard-line tone though. I do not know if this is typical or not.

Perhaps it is best that I stay off the forum…unfortunately.

 

[Castello]

As I said, it was a beautiful ceremony. An anointing of the chest, a water baptism, an anointing of the forehead, a blessing of the mothers, a blessing of the fathers, 2 readings, a responsorial psalm, a gospel (about the baptism of Jesus), etc. It was awesome. I do not fault our church in the least. It was lovely.

That is standard for all infant baptisms. They are lovely.

 

[LaSainte]

Thank you,

I am a bit concerned about the hard-line tone though. I do not know if this is typical or not.

Perhaps it is best that I stay off the forum…unfortunately.

No pressure. I am simply trying to reassure you that not every Catholic is so hardcore about everything. God understands that we cannot always make mass and certainly doesn’t expect us to go to ridiculous extremes to do so. God knows your heart and if you can’t make it for a good reason, that is not a mortal sin by any means.

 

[Genovefa]

Thank you!!