Was I supposed to go to mass today?

[Matthew_Holford]

This is the second weekend in a row where you’ve posted asking about fulfilling your Mass obligation. In both this thread and your previous one you seem to be looking for reasons to miss Mass. You have to go to Mass on Sundays and other holy days of obligation. You may need to look at your priorities and make a greater effort to get to Mass.

 

[Castello]

No pressure. I am simply trying to reassure you that not every Catholic is so hardcore about everything. God understands that we cannot always make mass and certainly doesn’t expect us to go to ridiculous extremes to do so. God knows your heart and if you can’t make it for a good reason, that is not a mortal sin by any means.

It is an obligation, not a suggestion.

The valid reasons for missing Mass are if there is no Mass offered in a reasonable driving distance, if the weather is so bad you would risk your safety or the safety of others, care of the sick or infants, or if you are too ill (if you are too sick to go to work is a good way to determine that one).

Aside from that, you must request a dispensation from your Pastor to miss Mass on Sunday or a HDO.

 

[Phemie]

Thank you! I have a 2 year old and a breastfeeding 3 month old. My mother and step-father AND the godmother were staying at my house and had to be fed breakfast and coffee, the babies had to be given baths and dressed in their best clothes, breastfeeding was going on all morning, I had to shower, get dressed and do my hair and makeup and my husband also had to get himself ready and help take care of the kids and entertain the family while all this transpired. It was madness and we were STILL almost late getting out the door. After an hour and 15 minute ceremony during which I had to breastfeed my screaming infant and my brother and father in law had to spend in the back of the church with my 2 year old, we drove to a place that we THOUGHT had a playground for the 3 children to have lunch and during which both kids’ diapers needed changing and more breastfeeding done. We left lunch, went home for cake and ice cream and my brother in law, their 2 kids, his wife, my mother and step-father left immediately from there to drive 10 and 3 hours home respectively, which was around 5. At what point EXACTLY was I supposed to jet off to church AGAIN?

Seriously, this is ridiculous!

I’m sorry, but really, 4 adults besides you in the house and they couldn’t get their own breakfast and look after the older child while you took yourself and, if necessary, the baby to Mass?

If you really didn’t know that the baptism was going to be during a Liturgy of the Word and if there is no other Mass in your church after that, then you have committed no sin. But I think Mass needs to be a priority in your weekend, not an afterthought that you fit in when it’s convenient. I’ve been where you are, with a 2 year old and a breastfeeding infant (and, later, a 5 year old, a 2 year old and a breastfeeding infant). I’m notoriously disorganized but it’s amazing how simple it becomes if you start with the idea that Mass comes first and everything else takes second place.

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you,

I am a bit concerned about the hard-line tone though. I do not know if this is typical or not.

Perhaps it is best that I stay off the forum…unfortunately.

It’s not a “hard line.” There is nothing more important in this life than going to Mass. Jesus died on the Cross for your eternal salvation; you can be there for an hour on Sunday to pray with Him in His agony, which He undertook for your sake.

Jesus could have made excuses to stay home and do something else, too. He could have said, “Judas needs me, he seems really depressed - sorry, guys, I can’t make it to my Crucifixion.”

 

[jmcrae]

Thank you! I have a 2 year old and a breastfeeding 3 month old.

They can’t get their own breakfast, true enough.

My mother and step-father AND the godmother were staying at my house and had to be fed breakfast and coffee,

“Had to”?

Sorry, but if they’d been at my house on a Sunday morning, I’d have pointed out the cereal boxes on the shelf, the eggs, bread and milk in the fridge, and the dishes in the cupboard and told them, “Help yourselves, guys - I’ll see you in an hour or so - I’m going to Mass.”

I’m probably a terrible hostess, but I think you can treat adults like adults - if you needed to go to work, or take the kids to the doctor, wouldn’t you let them fend for themselves?

 

[Castello]

They can’t get their own breakfast, true enough.

“Had to”?

Sorry, but if they’d been at my house on a Sunday morning, I’d have pointed out the cereal boxes on the shelf, the eggs, bread and milk in the fridge, and the dishes in the cupboard and told them, “Help yourselves, guys - I’ll see you in an hour or so - I’m going to Mass.”

I’m probably a terrible hostess, but I think you can treat adults like adults - if you needed to go to work, or take the kids to the doctor, wouldn’t you let them fend for themselves?

I’m an even worse hostess. If they will not go to Mass with me, I’d imagine that they will steal my stuff and cannot be trusted in my house alone. I’d put them on the porch with a thermos of coffee and a dozen donuts and say “be back in an hour” while I locked the door behind them heathens.

 

[dixieagle]

I’m sorry, but really, 4 adults besides you in the house and they couldn’t get their own breakfast and look after the older child while you took yourself and, if necessary, the baby to Mass?

If you really didn’t know that the baptism was going to be during a Liturgy of the Word and if there is no other Mass in your church after that, then you have committed no sin. But I think Mass needs to be a priority in your weekend, not an afterthought that you fit in when it’s convenient. I’ve been where you are, with a 2 year old and a breastfeeding infant (and, later, a 5 year old, a 2 year old and a breastfeeding infant). I’m notoriously disorganized but it’s amazing how simple it becomes if you start with the idea that Mass comes first and everything else takes second place.

I’m with you on this one. Been there, done all of it, and Mass was always - and still is - the priority. Now, if dh was out of town and a child was ill, then of course I was excused (family was 1500 miles away, so no help there).

Our parish schedules baptisms (beautiful, hour-long Baptisms) immediately following the 11 am Mass. I actually prefer them during Mass, but our pastor does such a beautiful job, with wonderful explanations, etc., that I don’t mind the separate Baptism at all.

Sadly, I think we all spend way too much time searching for excuses, when we know deep down that we really should be at Mass.

 

[jmcrae]

I’m an even worse hostess. If they will not go to Mass with me, I’d imagine that they will steal my stuff and cannot be trusted in my house alone. I’d put them on the porch with a thermos of coffee and a dozen donuts and say “be back in an hour” while I locked the door behind them heathens.

What was it that Doctor House said on a recent episode? Do not be afraid of strangers breaking into your house to kill you or rob you - those most likely to mean you harm already have keys to get in - they live there.

 

[Pax2u]

I’m confused as to why relatives who make a point to come a long distance for a baptism don’t want to go to Mass, also. If the baptism is important enough to travel to see, why isn’t attending Mass equally important?

My in-laws are not Catholic, and I would never skip Mass on the day of my child’s baptism to entertain them/make coffee, etc. If they chose not to come to Mass, they would be welcome to handle the coffee pot and toaster until me (and the rest of my family) got home.

my father-in-law is at our house every Christmas and though invited chooses not to go to Mass with us. Does that mean we stay home and chit chat with him…NO!

 

[Genovefa]

It’s not a “hard line.” There is nothing more important in this life than going to Mass. Jesus died on the Cross for your eternal salvation; you can be there for an hour on Sunday to pray with Him in His agony, which He undertook for your sake.

Jesus could have made excuses to stay home and do something else, too. He could have said, “Judas needs me, he seems really depressed - sorry, guys, I can’t make it to my Crucifixion.”

There are times however that a person cannot honestly go…especially when a caregiver to someone who needs them.

Things are not always so simple. There has to be a little room for common sense and individual conscience.

Some do not seem to consider that are genuine reasons for missing.

 

[jmcrae]

There are times however that a person cannot honestly go…especially when a caregiver to someone who needs them.

Yes, if someone is helpless, and can’t come to Mass with you, and there is no one else available to take care of them, that is a legitimate exception.

This was not the case, however. There were several adults available, except that it seems as if instead of helping with the two children, they were also being waited on, as if the mother were their servant, or something. If all of the adults (it seems as if there were at least five adults) had pitched in to help with the two children, I’m sure they all would have made it to Mass.