Was It All A Trick?

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Museia7

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A few years ago, I came down with a dangerous disease. During that time, I was cared for by a girl who was so loving and compassionate to me that I credit her with keeping me alive. After a while, I fell in love with her but was too sick to act on it. Eventually, I had to move away from her to get special help.

Over the last three years since I have seen her, I have always thought of her and secretly hoped that my journey was God’s way of uniting us. I prayed about it a lot. It would be the ultimate happy ending to this. In fact, a few months ago, I asked God that if there is a woman out there for me that I would hear from an old friend via email. A month later it happened.

Then in March I found out she had a boyfriend. I was devastated, but I wanted her to be happy as well. So I started praying on this a lot. I did the Saint Jude novena asking him to bring her to me in a way that causes no pain to her or her boyfriend if she is truly my other half. Without even getting to day nine, she texted me and described her struggles with her own health problems, problems which she hides even from her family. I offered her my support and care. It seemed like a sign to me. A little while later, I did the Saint Rita novena. I felt like God was attempting to tell me something and I just needed to get a clarification. I asked that if there was hope between us, that I would hear from her during the week. Again, I asked that no pain be brought to her and her boyfriend if they do break up. On the last day of the week, she called me up crying saying she had just broken up. I was stunned. I didn’t thank God because it was a painful breakup, but I did offer my care and concern over the next few days, reminding her of how good she was to me.

Over the last month, it seemed like things were starting to show promise. I felt that God was making this happen. My health is getting better and the virus situation is slowly improving so I started to plan to visit her and finally express my feelings. Then yesterday she told me she is back with her boyfriend.

Yesterday I started the Saint Jude novena again asking for insight into this and if it’s God’s will, to get her in a peaceful way that harms nobody. I’ve been doing a lot of reading and have heard that it is ok to ask God for signs, even specific ones so I said please let me know by next month. But still it seems so strange. If I prayed and got signs before, even when I didn’t ask for them, why would things fall apart? don’t know what to make of all the supposed signs I got over the last few months. Are they still valid, did they come from Satan, was it just a test from God, or simply an amazing coincidence? How should I look at all of this?
 
Lust can be hidden even in the incense of prayer.

This is how you should pray, “Not my will, Father, but thine be done.”

And wait. If God wishes it it, He will make it so, on His timeline, not yours.

With respect to signs, it’s fine to ask for them, but remember that God often keeps us in the dark with respect to His plans, because if we knew what we coming, we would mess it up. So stay alert. Don’t fantasize. And be open to what He brings into your life.
 
Situations like this remind me of the old Garth Brooks song, Unanswered Prayers. Give it a listen, even if you’re not into corny country music.

It’s hard to hear God when our own desires are speaking so loudly over Him, but He may have something even more wonderful in store for you.
 
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Museia7 said:
. If I prayed and got signs before,
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But maybe what you considered signs were misinterpretations. Obviously they were not signs of you and her getting together.

It may be time to release all of your expectations and desires and pray for God’s will for you, not what you will.
 
Museia7 said:
Yesterday I started the Saint Jude novena again asking for insight into this and if it’s God’s will, to get her
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My observation is that you are focused on the attainment of a human being. That language you use suggests that you are objectifying this woman to satisfy a desire of yours, although not in a malicious and overt way. It is natural to desire relationships.

Love is not something you “get”. You give it, and your receiving is reciprocal to your giving of it.

So give what you have, and give what is appropriate to the situation, and stop worrying about having a steak some day when all you have is a bowl of chips at the moment. Demonstrating prudence and simple fidelity to another person will establish what is possible without the grasping that you seem to be doing.
 
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Museia7 said:
have heard that it is ok to ask God for signs, even specific ones so I said please let me know by next month. But still it seems so strange. If I prayed and got signs before, even when I didn’t ask for them, why would things fall apart?
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However, Scripture warns us against “putting the Lord your God to the test” : For example “God, if you want me to eat pizza tonight, let me see a red bird today or if you want me to go to college, let me see a UPS truck tomorrow”

God allows us to choose the people we date and marry. He does not “pick one soulmate”, that would violate our free will.

Ask her on a date. If she says no, then, believe her.
 
You should probably forget her. There is great potential for things to go wrong and distance is key. Having a hobby or something might help.
 
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Maybe, just maybe, this is a sign that you need to be patient. Take one day at a time, trust God that in the end, what is best for you will happen, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
 
Pray for her health and happiness,be there as a friend without expectations I would suggest.
She might be praying it works out with her boyfriend.Sometimes when you really love someone it might mean letting go of them and wanting the best for their soul ,putting all in God’s hands.
 
Lots of prayers happening here. That’s great and all… but have you talked to her? Does she know you’re interested in her as more than a friend? Have you taken her out or brought her flowers or something?? Maybe she wishes you would but isn’t going to just wait around…
 
VanitasVanitatum said:
That’s not realistic and it will only create tension
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Well, YOLO. Tension isn’t the worst thing in the world. I say tell the girl how you feel & see what happens! Worst case scenario nothing changes between them because she’s not interested. Best case scenario… :woman_shrugging:t2:🌷😁
 
Ahhhh, affairs of the heart.

I just read a list of things one needs to consider in affairs of the heart - and in seeking a marriage partner. FWIW:
  1. Am I partially responsible for this situation? Have I simply been waiting for God to send me a spouse?
  2. Do I secretly fear living with someone? Do I really w;ant to be in a couple? (Many singles avoid meeting potential partners).
  3. Have I really tried to meet a potential spouse in the places I go?
  4. Am I approachable enough? Do I flee people’s company?
  5. Do I fear opening up to people? People love those they admire but how can the admire someone they don’t know? If I fear opening up to them, how will they get to know me?
  6. And finally, am I aiming too high, searching for perfection that does not exist? (There are single people who spend their lifetime looking for a knight in shining armor or a fairy tale princess).
None of these may specifically apply to you; or they may apply with a different twist to the question.

You met a Florence Nightingale. That can be a very romantic situation in spite of the obvious physical difficulties. And that can put a significant spin on the “reality” of the relationship, or potential relationship between the two of you. “Romantic” situations most generally are not real world; they are “affairs of the heart”, not the head. Being “in love” (or serious “like” - a crush) is an emotion, and emotions come and emotions go. Love is a completely different thing. “in love” is all about you; “love” is all about the other.
And I have no clue as to where you are in that spectrum, as we are all “head and heart”, although sometimes too much of one and not enough of the other.

I have no clue what her relationship is with the boyfriend - serious or not, healthy or not. I also suspect that if you come right out and tell her you are interested fin her as something more than just casual, you might get things sorted out, which could mean she could eventually be your spouse, or you two could date and find it was simply an “affair of the heart” , or she tells you she is not interested in you as a potential spouse.

No guts, no glory.

On the other hand, those who seek glory sometimes crash and burn.

And those who dare not the challenge may simply sit and smolder.
 
She is back with her boyfriend though. It doesn’t appear that she is interested in the OP that way.
 
Museia7 said:
How should I look at all of this?
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I would ask you to consider that being her trusted friend is an extremely important and special relationship.

If there is to be something more then it will be her decision together with happenstance more than God’s will.

I know emotions can be so powerful sometimes that they are almost overpowering but it is a mature position to see loving someone apart from the sexual aspect. Be thankful that someone so special is in your life and be faithful to her as a friend.

Perhaps things will go as you hope or perhaps a second special lady will come in your life and then you will have two special people. I think it is important not to lose special people in your life, whether or not they turn out to be the one you marry.
 
We frequently get posts on here from people who are praying and asking God for signs about some kind of relationship issue, usually somebody who they are in love with but who hasn’t so far reciprocated the feeling.

With situations like this, instead of begging God to help you get together with Person X, you’re better off just telling Person X how you feel about them and then either Person X agrees to start a relationship with you or Person X tells you they would rather stay with their other boyfriend/ girlfriend. Or perhaps Person X keeps stringing you along indefinitely, in which case you would be better off ending it.

Whether this girl calls you on the last day of a novena or on some random day when you haven’t said a prayer is of no consequence. You’ve been “in love” with this girl for 3 years and instead of just telling her that’s how you feel and if she doesn’t feel the same, then you’ll have to move on, you’re putting it on God to show you “signs”.

I’ll be honest, I think if God is showing you any “signs” at all here it’s that you need to tell this girl how you feel and then if she doesn’t feel the same you have to move on from her. She seems to be using you as some kind of emotional “side guy” when she’s having difficulty with her boyfriend. I can tell you from my personal experience that this situation is not particularly promising. Tell her to call you when and if she’s ever totally free and single and interested in a relationship and in the meantime you think you two should call it quits. Then get on with your life. As for God, just tell him “Thy will be done” and stop bugging him every day to show you a little sign here and a little sign there.
 
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By the way, just for the record, when I was young I had a couple of people I was “in love with” for years and wanting God to get me together with them. One of them was constantly going back and forth with his girlfriend too. It turned out he had a pattern of such behaviors, which continued through the next girlfriend, etc. Nowadays, having married someone totally different who didn’t play games with me, I thank God that I didn’t end up with those people I used to want to be with so bad.
 
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