Was It All A Trick?

[runningdude]

You can ask for a sign, but even if answered, it only means God loves you.

God could move her to call you, but it still must be her choice to actually date and potentially marry you.

However, you also have to take initiative. If you want to pursue her, you have to tell her. You got your opening by her calling you out of the blue.

Yes, she has a boyfriend. It is a bit awkward, but she already broke up with him once. You can simply say that if she finds herself single again, you would be interested. No grand gestures!

It will be better over the phone than in person, because it puts less pressure on her. If she declines, you can move on and stop wondering, “what if”.

however, if she herself happened to be waiting for a sign, there would no clearer sign than you directly expressing your interest!

 

[PetraG]

You should probably forget her. There is great potential for things to go wrong and distance is key. Having a hobby or something might help.

I agree. The very last thing someone should do immediately after breaking off one relationship is to start another. There needs to be a period of assessment and a chance to return to an even keel.

I’d say the OP ought to just give up the idea of having anything but a platonic friendship with this woman for an extended period of time, with the expectation that it will be for all time. He needs to know he will be able to let her go, if that is for the best. Well, if he can’t do it now, then when?

 

[Vico]

was it just a test from God, or simply an amazing coincidence? How should I look at all of this?

Coincidence. Well you have to express your interest in her personally rather than just thinking and praying about it.

 

[NoelFitz]

How should I look at all of this?

I am sorry to hear of your troubles and hope all will be resolved.
Reading your post I thought of St J H Newman’s prayer:

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next…Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.

 

[Jen7]

With situations like this, instead of begging God to help you get together with Person X, you’re better off just telling Person X how you feel about them and then either Person X agrees to start a relationship with you or Person X tells you they would rather stay with their other boyfriend/ girlfriend. Or perhaps Person X keeps stringing you along indefinitely, in which case you would be better off ending it.

yes this!! A marriage is not some thing God gives you signs about and then it happens. It’s a relationship cultivated over time. It needs to include honest and frequent communication with the person themselves - not just communication with God that the person knows nothing about. Call her up!

 

[Minks]

Museia7:

How should I look at all of this?

I am sorry to hear of your troubles and hope all will be resolved.
Reading your post I thought of St J H Newman’s prayer:

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next…Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.

This doesn’t sound like a prayer, but more like an explanation of Newman’s relationship with God, since he’s talking about God, instead of to God.

 

[NoelFitz]

This doesn’t sound like a prayer, but more like an explanation of Newman’s relationship with God, since he’s talking about God, instead of to God.

Hi Minks,
many thanks for your post.
I quoted part of ‘St John Henry Newman’s Reflection on Personal Vocation and Trust in Divine Providence’. It is recited at every meeting of the Newman Society of Ireland.
I find it very encouraging and hopeful, telling me that in spite of my difficulties in life I have a special place in God’s plan. Not withstanding all the sins I committed ‘I shall do good’. I am conscious of my sins, and worried about my final end, but ‘I will trust Him’. God knows what he is about and in His mercy and love I may avoid hell.
To me it is a powerful refection and I hoped it would be of help to the OP and others participants in CAF.