Was it ok for me to go to communion?

[Kathrin]

Today at mass I was worried about something, about a homeless woman who has asked me if she could take a shower in the residential hotel where I am staying. I felt a bit uncomfortable and I don’t know when I will be home, but I said she could try to call me in the afternoon.

I almost started feeling a bit angry at her because I have experienced her as being a bit “tedious” if I am allowed to say that (I don’t mean to put her down in any way). I was worrying that she might want to go into my room and spread her things around etc… so I felt this bit of anger, because it might all get so complicated, trying to resolve it for me and praying about it.

It was just before communion and I really tried to put my heart into the “Lord I am not worthy to receive you but only say the word and I shall be healed”. Was it ok for me to go to communion?

Kathrin

 

[rpp]

Kathrin, I am sure you are fine. The concerns you felt seems justified to me. I also suspect what you felt was not actually anger but fear. A fear that I think is quite justified.

You have not done anything wrong, my friend.

I would, for your personal safety, either NOT permit this woman to shower in your room OR have another person whom you trust, preferably a guy, in the room there with you for protection. If you cannot have a second trustworthy person present, I would encourage you to help this woman find a homeless shelter instead of opening your home. That seems dangerous to me.

Aren’t helping out in homeless shelters there in the Bay area?

May God continue to bless you.

 

[Kathrin]

She wouldn’t shower in my room, the shower’s down the hall.

I let that woman stay with me once last winter on a very cold night.
I did let her know it was probably not a good idea to stay with me (I just have a small room, and need rest too). The manager of the hotel said for one night would be ok so I am pretty sure one shower would also be ok… I just would like to keep my room kind of “my space” and I hope that is ok… as I said, I need rest too, I run around “all day” sometimes it seems trying to help “everyone”…

And I have suggested the homeless shelters, yes.

Maybe I made her fel not welcome. She says she might ask somebody else. It is just very complicated ebcause I am not home much. I have been trying to arrange today so I am not too far from home in case she calls…

 

[Kathrin]

I also suspect what you felt was not actually anger but fear.

I tyhink I felt some anger too, I was imagining her being very difficult… but I was (and am!) trying to feel love for her.

I actually felt better after communion. Trying to put my trust in God, in Christ.

 

[rpp]

I tyhink I felt some anger too, I was imagining her being very difficult… but I was (and am!) trying to feel love for her.

I actually felt better after communion. Trying to put my trust in God, in Christ.

Holy Communion has a way of doing that for people.

Kathrin, I am sure you are wise enough to make the right and safe decision.

May God grant you His peace.

 

[Kathrin]

Kathrin, I am sure you are wise enough to make the right and safe decision.

May God grant you His peace.

I let her take a shower this morning. It worked out very well and she was extremely grateful.

I feel a bit guilty toward my landlord now and was thinking, maybe I have to sacrifice one of my own showers now and not take one one day. Or just take shorter ones? My landlord said though it was ok for her to sleep in my room one night, and she didn’t do that, and I am sure he would have thought sh’d take a shower too?

I think I’ll let him know and offer to give him a couple of extra bucks when I pay my next rent for the water usage.

Am I not sacrificing enough if I am not sacrificing my own shower? It is something that is important to me, showering before I go to bed especially after I have done things like rescued pigeons and helped with the homeless and stuff like that.

What do I do with thoughts like that? How do I know if it is God asking me for a sacrifice or just my OCD acting up trying to give me a hard time???

 

[blessedtoo]

I let her take a shower this morning. It worked out very well and she was extremely grateful.

I feel a bit guilty toward my landlord now and was thinking, maybe I have to sacrifice one of my own showers now and not take one one day. Or just take shorter ones? My landlord said though it was ok for her to sleep in my room one night, and she didn’t do that, and I am sure he would have thought sh’d take a shower too?

I think I’ll let him know and offer to give him a couple of extra bucks when I pay my next rent for the water usage.

Am I not sacrificing enough if I am not sacrificing my own shower? It is something that is important to me, showering before I go to bed especially after I have done things like rescued pigeons and helped with the homeless and stuff like that.

What do I do with thoughts like that? How do I know if it is God asking me for a sacrifice or just my OCD acting up trying to give me a hard time???

Kathrin,
You have stated that you suffer with scrupulosity. Does your priest know this? Do you have a spiritual advisor?

Have you read the 10 Commandments for Scrupulosity?
mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

 

[Kathrin]

The priest I go to confession with right now knows pretty well how my mind works I think… He is wonderful.
I feel better about this whole thing again already today and think I did the right thing!

Yes, I have read the commandments for the scrupulous… Thanks for reminding me I think I should reread them sometime soon…

Kathrin

 

[blessedtoo]

The priest I go to confession with right now knows pretty well how my mind works I think… He is wonderful.
I feel better about this whole thing again already today and think I did the right thing!

Yes, I have read the commandments for the scrupulous… Thanks for reminding me I think I should reread them sometime soon…

Kathrin

Kathrin,
I was just wondering if your priest knows how frequently you post questions about possible sin on this forum?

I am asking because it is my understanding that it is not beneficial to continue to “feed” one’s scrupulosity by questioning everything one does and then perpetuating the worry and obsession by bringing it to an internet forum.

**You shall believe and act accordingly, so that whenever you are in doubt as to whether or not you are obliged to do or not to do something, you can take it for certain that you are not obligated. **

** If, before you perform or omit an act, you are doubtful whether or not it is sinful for you, you shall assume as certain that it is not sinful and shall proceed to act without any dread of sin whatever. **

God bless!

 

[Kathrin]

From what I know about OCD (and I have studied it quite a bit ), you are right I think.

Asking for reassurance may bring immediate relief from anxiety, but in the long run it just feeds the obsessiveness.

It’s just that with moral questions, it is sometimes SUCH a fine line…

Kathrin

p.s. The priest I go to right now doesn’t know that I post in this forum I think. Maybe I should tell him??

 

[quasimodo]

I tyhink I felt some anger too, I was imagining her being very difficult… but I was (and am!) trying to feel love for her.

I actually felt better after communion. Trying to put my trust in God, in Christ.

Remember Christian love is not primarily a feeling - it is an act of the will that occasionally accompanied by feeling

 

[Kathrin]

Just yesterday at mass the priest said something about that in his hiomily.

 

[blessedtoo]

p.s. The priest I go to right now doesn’t know that I post in this forum I think. Maybe I should tell him??

Kathrin,
I think that is a good idea.

There was another poster on here awhile ago who also suffered with scrupulosity and her priest told her NOT to post questions about possible sins on this forum - but rather, follow his guidance only.

God bless!