Was my confession ok?

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Athanasius

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I hope this is simply my scrupulosity, but…

I went to confession on Sunday, and I had printed out a piece of paper with my list of sins. After I had read it off to the priest, I realized that my list was very complicated in how I described the sins, and that perhaps I had it read too fast. (It didn’t help that in most complicated section, I had to start over again halfway through the section).

Anyway, I asked the priest if he understood everything I stated, and he said yes, but I didn’t know if he really did or not. I didn’t see how he possibly could have. I was thinking there was a good chance he was just be saying that. But I didn’t know what to do. I was thinking perhaps I should press to read it again to make sure he understood, and I was thinking I would be making a bad confession if I didn’t press. But I didn’t really know what to do, because his patience was naturally already being strained. So I stood silent.

After he talked to me a couple of minutes, I decided I should make one last effort to read the sins again to make sure he understood. But I’ll be honest; I was hoping he would say no, because I really didn’t want to (At no point in the confession did I really wish to go over them again). I even phrased it negatively to make it easier for him to say no, saying “I don’t guess I could read off my sins again, could I?” At the time, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that my hoping he would say no and my trying to make it easier for him to say no by the negative phrasing were sinful. If I would have, I wouldn’t have done it.

Anyway, he did say no. And so I didn’t do anything. To be honest, I was even relieved he said no and happy to an extent, because I really didn’t want to go over them again. But I was still concerned. I didn’t know what to do. Again, I was thinking I should press one more time and that if I didn’t I would be making a bad confession. But then he had already said no, and I didn’t know what to do. I really didn’t want to press any more after he said no. So I stood silent. Afterwards, though, I was feeling bad and afraid I made a bad confession, that I should have pressed a little more.

Did I make a bad confession, or is it simply my scrupulosity?

Also, the priest said that my sins weren’t sins (I think he meant only some of them, though)… I think he might have been right, but just in case he was wrong, I wouldn’t have to reconfess them, would I? Since I did confess them, despite what he may have thought about them?

Finally, when the priest said the words of absolution, he stated “…I absolve you of any of your sins…”. That didn’t sound right to me, so I asked him to do it again, and he stated “…I absolve you of your sins…” Are those correct words for that part? That wouldn’t affect the validity of the confession would it?
 
Your confession was fine. All of these doubts are your scrupulocity speaking. Do not rehash your confession - it will only feed the monster of scrupulocity. I repeat- don’t go over it in your mind. If the priest needed clarification, he would have asked for it. That is his job, not yours. Even if the priest didn’t fully understand everything, Jesus did. He knows your heart, and knows what you did, what you meant in confession, and knows your sorrow and how contrite you are. Let it go.
 
Athanasius, do I remember correctly that you were going to take time away from your job and concentrate on clearing this kind of stuff up with your priest? How’s that going?

Betsy
 
Athanasius, do I remember correctly that you were going to take time away from your job and concentrate on clearing this kind of stuff up with your priest? How’s that going
I haven’t done as much as I would have liked…I’ve asked a few questions, though.
 
Just by the simple fact you had to ask this question, means that your confession was valid…in otherwords, you did not purposely omit something from your confession…you gave the best confession you could give…you were very nervous…you honestly tried your best and the simple fact you didn’t desire to go through your sins again doesn’t invalidate your confession…it makes you human…heck, I don’t even like telling my sins to the priest for the first time LOL…but it is something I have overcome with frequent confessions. Don’t worry my friend, it is just a little case of scruples getting to you. God Bless
I hope this is simply my scrupulosity, but…

I went to confession on Sunday, and I had printed out a piece of paper with my list of sins. After I had read it off to the priest, I realized that my list was very complicated in how I described the sins, and that perhaps I had it read too fast. (It didn’t help that in most complicated section, I had to start over again halfway through the section).

Anyway, I asked the priest if he understood everything I stated, and he said yes, but I didn’t know if he really did or not. I didn’t see how he possibly could have. I was thinking there was a good chance he was just be saying that. But I didn’t know what to do. I was thinking perhaps I should press to read it again to make sure he understood, and I was thinking I would be making a bad confession if I didn’t press. But I didn’t really know what to do, because his patience was naturally already being strained. So I stood silent.

After he talked to me a couple of minutes, I decided I should make one last effort to read the sins again to make sure he understood. But I’ll be honest; I was hoping he would say no, because I really didn’t want to (At no point in the confession did I really wish to go over them again). I even phrased it negatively to make it easier for him to say no, saying “I don’t guess I could read off my sins again, could I?” At the time, I wasn’t thinking about the fact that my hoping he would say no and my trying to make it easier for him to say no by the negative phrasing were sinful. If I would have, I wouldn’t have done it.

Anyway, he did say no. And so I didn’t do anything. To be honest, I was even relieved he said no and happy to an extent, because I really didn’t want to go over them again. But I was still concerned. I didn’t know what to do. Again, I was thinking I should press one more time and that if I didn’t I would be making a bad confession. But then he had already said no, and I didn’t know what to do. I really didn’t want to press any more after he said no. So I stood silent. Afterwards, though, I was feeling bad and afraid I made a bad confession, that I should have pressed a little more.

Did I make a bad confession, or is it simply my scrupulosity?

Also, the priest said that my sins weren’t sins (I think he meant only some of them, though)… I think he might have been right, but just in case he was wrong, I wouldn’t have to reconfess them, would I? Since I did confess them, despite what he may have thought about them?

Finally, when the priest said the words of absolution, he stated “…I absolve you of any of your sins…”. That didn’t sound right to me, so I asked him to do it again, and he stated “…I absolve you of your sins…” Are those correct words for that part? That wouldn’t affect the validity of the confession would it?
 
I suffer from scrupulosity.
I used to make a list. Then I would try to read them but in my nervousness the list would become a blur and I would leave one or two out.
The during the absolution I would remember a sin or afterwards when I look over the list I would realize I missed some. That left me feeling horrible. I would start to think that maybe I did intentionally omit them, that becuase I had a list there was no excuse to leave them out. I would go over the confession in my mind over and over again losing any peace of mind. I would go to Mass all miserable, and feel real empty when I wouldn’t recieve the Eucharist because I didn’t want to commit sacriledge.
I quit making list.
If I commit a grave or mortal sin I will remember it.
I will confes a venial sin if I commit them frequently, if not I usually won’t unless I have no mortal sins to confess.
If I do forget to mention a mortal sin then I make sure to confess it the next time, I don’t dwell on them anymore after confession. My mind and my heart is at ease and I can go to Mass in peace and enjoy the Liturgy.
I still struggle a bit with what is a mortal or venial “mole hill into mountain”, But thanks to God and Father Santa I’m getting better at dealing with my scruples.
You must read the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous.
It is outstanding!
Please, click on mommyof4’s link
 
Read my posted reply from just a few minutes ago. The priest made any error the first time, he’s human, 2nd was OK. Good that you questioned him; it helped him. Remember, when you confess you are confessing to both a priest the human agent of God on earth and to the Lord. Even if the priest doesn’t seem to understand the Lord does. And you are absolved. The Lord knows better than you can explain to anybody what is in your heart. He knows and he understands and if you desire forgiveness He is ever merciful to forgive your sins.

Rest easy.
 
If I commit a grave or mortal sin I will remember it.
Yep. They kind of stick out like sore thumbs, don’t they?
I still struggle a bit with what is a mortal or venial “mole hill into mountain”, But thanks to God and Father Santa I’m getting better at dealing with my scruples.
You must read the Ten Commandments for the Scrupulous.
It is outstanding!
Please, click on mommyof4’s link
Isn’t Father Santa’s book fantastic? Between that and the scrupulous anonymous newsletters, they have really helped me make a distinction between mortal and veniel sins. I’m not perfect at it, but with a bit of reflection, I can do it.
 
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