Was my confession valid?

[Athanasius]

Yesterday, I was afraid there was a chance I had committed a mortal sin, so I wished to go to confession as soon as possible. Since I could not get a ride to the church immediately, I called the priest and asked if he could come to my house, which he did. I then planned on doing an examination of conscience while I was waiting for him. But after I called and he was already on the way, I remembered that I had forgotten to go through a bunch of papers that included sins on them that I had either wanted to confess, or at least thought possible needed to be confessed. So I was going through all of those papers, trying to get through them all and decide on what needed to be confessed and what didn’t before the priest arrived at my house.

Unfortunately, I was in a hurry, and I didn’t have the time to go through them as thoroughly as I had hoped. On most of them, it didn’t matter, because I didn’t think I needed to confess them. But then I came across one paper describing a bunch of sins, which was very detailed, and that’s where the problem comes in…

I basically just automatically decided I didn’t need to confess them. I didn’t do that great of a review of what I had written down (I barely glanced at the paper). I don’t remember if that was because I thought I already knew what it was and didn’t think it needed confessed, or whether I just plain didn’t review it that well period. And now I’m afraid I might have known it needed to be confessed (though that might be just my scruples).

But then today, when looking at it again, I decided it might have needed to be confessed. And now I’m scared I might have made a bad confession.

Don’t get me wrong; during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession. But I was also just reading off a list of sins I had written down and not thinking about anything else . But I’m afraid if I did something wrong in my preparation for confession, that it would be a bad confession, even if during the confession itself I had no intention of making a bad confession (though I wasn’t really thinking at all during my confession, due to my nervousness. I always do that during confession, hence my need for a list in the first place).

Plus, after the confession, the priest told me that he would only hear my confession once a month and no more. (I guess to help me deal with my scrupulosity).

I’m scared. Even in the worst-case scenario, would I have made a bad confession? What if in my preparation for confession, I had planned on not confessing what I thought needed to be confessed, but during the confession itself, I was trying to make a good confession, albeit not really thinking of what I was saying and just reading off the list (and hence, I didn’t remember about those sins nor about my not planning on confessing them). Would the confession be valid, since during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession, (though I would in my next confession need to confess to the other things).

I don’t know if the worst case occurred or not (or if its simply my scruples), but assuming the worst, would the confession itself have been valid?

 

[palmas85]

Yesterday, I was afraid there was a chance I had committed a mortal sin, so I wished to go to confession as soon as possible. Since I could not get a ride to the church immediately, I called the priest and asked if he could come to my house, which he did. I then planned on doing an examination of conscience while I was waiting for him. I remembered that I had forgotten to go through a bunch of papers that included sins on them that I had either wanted to confess, or at least thought possible needed to be confessed. So I was going through all of those papers, trying to get through them all and decide on what needed to be confessed and what didn’t before the priest arrived at my house.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the time to go through them as thoroughly as I had hoped. On most of them, it didn’t matter, because I didn’t think I needed to confess them. But I came across one paper describing a bunch of sins, which was very detailed, and that’s where the problem comes in…

I basically decided I didn’t need to confess them. I didn’t do that great of a review of what I had written down (I barely glanced at the paper). I don’t remember if that was because I thought I already knew what it was and didn’t think it needed confessed, or whether I just plain didn’t review it that well period. And now I’m afraid I might have known it needed to be confessed (though that might be just my scruples).

But then today, when looking at it again, I decided it might have needed to be confessed. And now I’m scared I might have made a bad confession.

Don’t get me wrong; during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession. But I was also just reading off a list of sins I had written down and not thinking about anything else . But I’m afraid if I did something wrong in my preparation for confession, that it would be a bad confession, even if during the confession itself I had no intention of making a bad confession (though I wasn’t really thinking at all during my confession, due to my nervousness. I always do that during confession, hence my need for a list in the first place).

Plus, after the confession, the priest told me that he would only hear my confession once a month and no more. (I guess to help me deal with my scrupulosity).

I’m scared. Even in the worst-case scenario, would I have made a bad confession? What if in my preparation for confession, I had planned on not confessing what I thought needed to be confessed, but during the confession itself, I was trying to make a good confession, albeit not really thinking of what I was saying and just reading off the list (and hence, I didn’t remember about those sins nor about my not planning on confessing them). Would the confession be valid, since during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession, (though I would in my next confession need to confess to the other things).

I don’t know if the worst case occurred or not (or if its simply my scruples), but assuming the worst, would the confession itself have been valid?

My friend, I’m going to say something that you probably don’t want to hear. It seems like every other post you’ve put up here deals with the same thing. For any one of a thousand reasons, maybe more your confession is never good enough.

If you go into confession with a true and contrite heart and confess to the best of your ability and don’t** CONSCIOUSLY **hide sins or downplay them and the Priest absolves you you are forgiven. Period. End of discussion. It need go no further.

I hate to say this but you sound like Martin Luther. Prior to his revelation about grace, he would spend hours in the confessional often daily, going over and over the same sins because he thought he may have left out some important detail, or maybe he hadn’t explained it properly or somehow the Priest did not understand his confession or even that he may have missed one along the way… He hated himself because he could not live up to Gods demands and standards. One of his confessors allegedly told him, “Man you don’t hate yourself as you claim, you truly hate God.”

Very interesting statement. Because what he was displaying was a lack of faith in the forgiveness of man by God. He could not accept that God could forgive such a creature as him and in effect he did hate God for it. Sounds like you, because you never seem to feel good enough or deserving… The only thing that eventually brought him peace was the line from Romans about the righteous man being saved by faith alone. This point aided and in fact led in great part to his break from Catholicism by the way.

The point is my friend, just be as honest as you can be and confess honestly with a true sense of contrition and a firm purpose of amendment Nothing else. Thats it.

And before anyone decides to chime in and say that I was uncharitable and mean spirited for so bluntly pointing this out, I’ll save you the trouble.

PALMAS 85 IS MEAN SPIRITED AND UNCHARITABLE.:bigyikes: :bigyikes: :bigyikes:
I hope that satisfies everybody.

 

[Athanasius]

Thank-you for your reply. However, what I am afraid of, however, is that the worst-case scenario I described above:

I’m scared. Even in the worst-case scenario, would I have made a bad confession? What if in my preparation for confession, I had planned on not confessing what I thought needed to be confessed, but during the confession itself, I was trying to make a good confession, albeit not really thinking of what I was saying and just reading off the list (and hence, I didn’t remember about those sins nor about my not planning on confessing them). Would the confession be valid, since during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession, (though I would in my next confession need to confess to the other things).

I don’t know if the worst case occurred or not (or if its simply my scruples), but assuming the worst case, would the confession itself have been valid?

I should point out that in my preparation for confession, I would have known I would not really be thinking during confession itself, and so wouldn’t remember those sins, with all of its implications…

 

[Rykell]

The priest is a mediator between the penitent and God, invested by Christ with the power to loose [or hold bound] those sins which are spoken of in confession, even those that may be forgotten, or those of which you are completely unaware were sins.

You are not expected to perfectly remember how many occasions it occured, nor to confess details beyond stating the sin, with the sincere intent to be restored to God’s friendship and sanctifying grace. If the priest has a question about what he hears from you, he will ask it.

Think of being at Christ’s feet in the confessional, and listen to those beautiful words, “I absolve you …” Then as the priest says, “go in PEACE.” Forget them, and ask for help to avoid the near occasions of falling into sin in the future.

Babies fall a hundred times before they pick up and learn to walk, and we may possibly commit the sins again and again after our sincere repentence. Be not afraid! Trust God to help you.

It may be a good idea to call for an appointment at the rectory and have some counselling with your pastor, telling him your concerns, and then follow his advice. Spiritual direction is the best way to ease your mind.

In the Old Testament, all the sinner had to do was lay his hand on an animal sacrifice he brought to the priestly minister, confess his sins over it, and restoration was complete. The sacrificial animal prefigured the “Lamb of God” who was slain for your sins. When you confess to him in this sacrament, they are gone. What matters is that you come to Him in repentence.

 

[Athanasius]

Yes, but I am afraid of the wost-case scenario I described in my last post. I don’t know if it occured, but if it did, would my confession have still been valid?

If I did prepare for confession, planning on not confessing those sins when I should have, and knowing beforehand that I wouldn’t be thinking about them during the confession, since I knew I would be just reading off a list, hence I knew I would not confess them when I should have… yet during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession, (despite whatever happened during the preparation), would the confession itself still be valid? Even if I would need to confess at my next confession those other sins as well as the sin of planning during my preparations of not confessing them?

Like I said, I don’t know if the worst case occured or if its just my scrupules, but if it did occur, would the confession itself still be valid at least?

 

[Rykell]

yet during the confession itself I was trying to make a good confession, (despite whatever happened during the preparation), would the confession itself still be valid?

Let me understand.

1. You planned to withhold a sin in confession. Was it mortal or venial. If venial, no problem, for we are not strictly bound to confess all venial sins, though it is a good idea.
2. If it was mortal, and you deliberately planned to withhold it, and consciously did so, I don’t believe it was valid.
3. When you entered the confessional and had a complete change of heart, then #2 did not come into play. Did you forget the sin after the change of heart or confess it?

This may be complicated, so I still advise you to see your priest for spiritual direction, if this does not answer your question.

 

[Athanasius]

Let me understand.

1. You planned to withhold a sin in confession. Was it mortal or venial. If venial, no problem, for we are not strictly bound to confess all venial sins, though it is a good idea.

Under the worst-case scenario (which I am going by), they would have been mortal.

1. If it was mortal, and you deliberately planned to withhold it, and consciously did so, I don’t believe it was valid.

1. When you entered the confessional and had a complete change of heart, then #2 did not come into play. Did you forget the sin after the change of heart or confess it?

After the change of heart, I had forgotten about the sins (though I knew I would forget about them when planning to withhold them). But as I said, when I was doing my confession itself, I was trying to do it right and make a good confession, no matter what had gone on in the preparation beforehand.

This may be complicated, so I still advise you to see your priest for spiritual direction, if this does not answer your question.

I have emailed my priest, but I think I have strained his patience. (Like I said, he has stated he will only hear my confessions once a month now).

In any case, I don’t know if the worst case scenario occured, or if its just my scruples. I might be imagining it, and I simply made a mistake. But if I know that even under the worst-case scenario my confession was valid, that would be very helpful and put my fears at rest.

 

[Rykell]

After the change of heart, I had forgotten about the sin (though I knew I would forget about it when planning to withhold it). But as I said, when I was doing my confession itself, I was trying to do it right.

Then it was valid, brother. In your next confession, you simply need to say that you had forgotten this sin, and then name it. Meanwhile it is forgiven. Rest in peace with this. I have the suspicion you are a bit scrupulous, and it is a very painful trial. For your future confessions, firmly decide never to omit serious sins, no matter how embarrassing it to confess them, for in reality, you might fool the priest and yourself, but not God.

You surely don’t want to add the sin of sacrilege by receiving communion while knowingly withholding a mortal sin in confession, do you? Of course not. I am praying right now that you firmly choose never to do this.

 

[Athanasius]

Thank-you for your answer. That greatly relieves me.

Like I said, I don’t remember if the worst case occurred, or if I simply made a mistake and my scruples are getting to me …

 

[CatholicNick]

Under the worst-case scenario (which I am going by), they would have been mortal.

Athanasius, have you ever read the 10 Commandments of scrupulous people, thats on one of these Scrupulous anonymous websites?

If you have doubt as to whether a Sin is Mortal or not, then the said sin is not Mortal. One cannot sin mortally without knowing it.

I still do suffer from scrupulosity, however I am nowhere near as bad as I once was, mainly by following this:

The best piece of advice a friend of mine was given by a EDIT priest, was if you are not sure about if a Sin is Mortal or not, JUST FORGET IT. If you have serious doubts as to whether it is Mortal, it isn’t, and its your Scruples speaking.

A devotion to Our Lady also helps me very very much, I suggest you start a devotion to Our Lady of Good Success:

traditioninaction.org/OLGS/olgshome.htm

Nick

 

[Unfinished]

Athanasius, have you ever read the 10 Commandments of scrupulous people, thats on one of these Scrupulous anonymous websites?

If you have doubt as to whether a Sin is Mortal or not, then the said sin is not Mortal. One cannot sin mortally without knowing it.

Read that paragraph again, Athanasius. Forget it. Unless you KNOW FOR A FACT when you are commiting the sin that it is mortal, it is not a mortal sin.

Then, I want you to read this webpage over and over. It is the webpage Nick suggested.

mission.liguori.org/newsletters/scrupulosity.htm

Your confession was quite valid. The priest absolves you of all of your sin, if you “confessed it correctly” or not. Don’t drive yourself crazy over it.

 

[BonnieBj]

I am in agreement with Athanasius, Palmas, and Rykell (didn’t read the others). As long as you intend to make a good confession and you didn’t on purpose try to hide something that was a mortal sin your confession is OK. If you still have any doubts then starat going through those papers, cross off the things you have confessed and decide which, if any of them, were mortal sins adn which are venial sins. Tell the priest (go to a different one this time if possible) about those but just in categories. If he wants details or info he’ll ask. You don’t need to know the exact # of sims you committed a particular sin. Also some things are not sins but faults. Expressions like a few times, frequently, often, almost every day are quantifiers that are all that is necessary, and that will help you see what areas of sin are most troublesome, and the priest can give you advice on how to avoid committing them again or so often.

Remember, the Lord knows your heart and your intentions. If you can honestly say that you did your best under the circumstances, then you’re all right because you are absolved of all of your sins, including those not confessed.

Adn remember to pray to the Holy Spirit to help you make a good confession.

Another thing you might want to try is the daily examination of conscience (EOC) before bedtime. You could record it in a journal, which would help you remember when preparing for your next sacramental confession. After the EOC you ask for forgiveness of all your sins, remembered and unremembered.
Some peole like the Ignatian Examen, which is quite thorough, depends on how muich time you have available to do it. There are also some very good books on preparing for confession that you can use as a checklist.

Rest easy.

 

[Athanasius]

Then it was valid, brother.:

Just to make sure, under the worst case scenario, even if I knew (at the time of planning to withhold the sins) that I would forget about the sins once the confession actually came around, as long as I was trying to make a good confession at the time of the confession itself, it’s still valid, right? And I just need to worry about confessing that stuff at the next confession?

Again, I don’t know if it was the worst-case, or if I simply was going too fast and being careless when reviewing them in my preparation, thus making a mistake or being too gentle with myself…(since I was in a hurry, as I described above)

And thanks to everyone else for the advice!

 

[Athanasius]

EDIT: I needed to edit my last post, but it was too late, so

Then it was valid, brother

Just to make sure, under the worst case scenario, even if I knew (at the time of planning to withhold the sins) that I would forget about the sins once the confession actually came around, since I know I’m nervous and just read off the list without thinking during every confession, still, as long as I was trying to make a good confession at the time of the confession itself, and was intending to make a good confession, it’s still valid, right? In spite of what happened when preparing for it. And I just need to worry about confessing that stuff at the next confession?

Again, I don’t know if it was the worst-case, or if I simply was going too fast and being careless when reviewing them in my preparation, thus making a mistake or being too gentle with myself…(since I was in a hurry, as I described above)

And thanks to everyone else for the advice.

 

[Rykell]

Just to make sure, under the worst case scenario, even if I knew (at the time of planning to withhold the sins) that I would forget about the sins once the confession actually came around, since I know I’m nervous and just read off the list without thinking during every confession, still, as long as I was trying to make a good confession at the time of the confession itself, and was intending to make a good confession, it’s still valid, right? In spite of what happened when preparing for it. And I just need to worry about confessing that stuff at the next confession?

How did you know in advance that you would forget? This is an odd thing to say, unless you are in the habit of forgetting and worried about it. In that case, it is not intentional.

Yes, it’s still valid if you intended in your heart at the actual time of the confession to make it the best you could. God saw your honesty and forgives you completely.

Just mention the sin in your next confession, but don’t get scrupulous if you forget this again. If you go often, like monthly, it shouldn’t be a problem to remember, and maybe you could jot it down somewhere on your “to do” list so someone else won’t stumble upon it. Just a simple note to say remember to speak to Father about my issue. As nervous as you have been about this in your posts here, I have the feeling you won’t forget.

 

[Athanasius]

Thanks for your reply.

How did you know in advance that you would forget? This is an odd thing to say, unless you are in the habit of forgetting and worried about it. In that case, it is not intentional.

Whenever I go to confession, I simply read off my list of sins I have written down, and don’t think of anything else, because I am so nervous. So I knew , when I “planned” on withholding those sins (assuming the worst-case scenario, which I’m not sure actually occcured), that I wouldn’t be thinking about those certain sins during the confession itself

Yes, it’s still valid if you intended in your heart at the actual time of the confession to make it the best you could. God saw your honesty and forgives you completely.

Yes, at the time of the confession itself, I did will to make a good confession. It’s just that I was reading from the list and not thinking of anything else at that time, even what I had been doing just before the confession itself.

So even in the worst-case, my confession was valid, right?

Again, thank-you for your reply!

 

[Unfinished]

Thanks for your reply.

Whenever I go to confession, I simply read off my list of sins I have written down, and don’t think of anything else, because I am so nervous. So I knew , when I “planned” on withholding those sins (assuming the worst-case scenario, which I’m not sure actually occcured), that I wouldn’t be thinking about those certain sins during the confession itself

Yes, at the time of the confession itself, I did will to make a good confession. It’s just that I was reading from the list and not thinking of anything else at that time, even what I had been doing just before the confession itself.

So even in the worst-case, my confession was valid, right?

Again, thank-you for your reply!

If your intent was to confess all of your sins, and you are sorry for all of your sins, then your confession was valid. Stop worrying about if you ACTUALLY confessed all of your sins or not.

The only thing that would make it invalid is if you were reading off your list and you skipped a sin on purpose for whatever reason.

For example,

Lust
Greed
Impure Thought
Pride

And you were just reading the list. As you were reading, you skipped impure thought because you were embaressed. That would make it invalid.

Stop stressing over the legality of things SO much. Rules are important, and meant to be followed, but God NEVER intended for someone to be driven mad trying to follow them to an impossible standard. Trust in Christ’s forgiveness - your confession was valid.

 

[StephanieC]

Athanasius, honey, you’re doing it again–do you realize this? You need to stop using the good people of this forum to feed your scrupulosity.

Have you read any of the Scrupulous Anonymous Newsletters from the Liguorians? This is a quote from one, titled “Confession your Sins”:

Confession is not the place for you to discuss your past doubts which have just recently come into your mind. Discussing, explaining, and confessing are the compulsive behaviors associated with scrupulosity. Scrupulous people think they do not make themselves clear and fear that they are unclear because they do not want to admit their guilt. Even as they try to admit their guilt, they try to exonerate themselves because the more rational part of them tells them their behavior is odd.

Please go to the link I provided…there is such a wealth of information for you there that could really help you. Trust and obey your confessor.

God bless.

 

[palmas85]

I’m going to pray real hard for you my friend, because no matter what anybody tells you, no matter what happens you still doubt and as I said before, you don’t doubt yourself, you doubt God. Thats right, you doubt God.

God sent His Son to die for us, for YOU, and thats not good enough for you. Nope, you are so wicked so evil so low down that no matter what you do, no matter how you confess how often you confess how perfectly you confess it will never be sufficient. Because deep down in your heart…

**YOU DOUBT GODS LOVE FOR YOU AND THE SALVATION THAT CHRIST DIED TO GIVE YOU AND YOU HATE GOD FOR IT
**

Thats your problem in a nutshell. You doubt the sufficiency of Christs love for you and the death He died for you.

You need to stop doubting God. You need to stop hating God.

You need to stop looking for excuses. Accept what God has freely given us as men and woman. Please, my friend, stop doubting and stop hating. Please, I beg you, stop it…

Once again

PALMAS 85 IS MEAN SPIRITED AND UNCHARITABLE:bigyikes: :bigyikes: :bigyikes:

 

[Like]

Athanasius,

A devotion to Our Lady also helps me very very much, I suggest you start a devotion to Our Lady of Good Success:

traditioninaction.org/OLGS/olgshome.htm

Nick

Hi Nick,
Our Lady of Good Success is an approved Apparition of the Church, however, are you aware that the site you posted above is a anti Pope JP II and Benedict XVI website? Marian T, Horvat has a good story about OLofGS, but uses her site to attack Vatican II & the Popes (post V II). See this on her site…
traditioninaction.org/HotTopics/a031htPerplexing_Remi.htm
I know Karl Keating had a comment or two about her, see catholic.com/newsletters/kke_050614.asp
Also, see this for a good review on her from a well respected Catholic site, Catholic Culture.
catholicculture.org/sites/site_view.cfm?recnum=3026
and also do a google search on Marian T, Horvat for lots more.
google.com/search?sourceid=mozclient&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&q=Marian+T%2E+Horvat

God bless!