Was she coming on strong, or just being very friendly?

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*I am leaning in agreement with you Epistemes. Something about how you’re posting her tone, that her tone seemed endearing, it’s highly possible that she innocently just wants to have lunch, and thinks you are a nice person.

That said, best to not go to the lunch, of course. I agree with others in that regard. It’s possible she could be filled with the Holy Spirit, and thus, she is beaming. I know a few people like that, who don’t mean to come across flirty, but they come across in a very endearing, sincere way. Like she is interested in you, but not **interested **in you. You know? I think I know what you’re saying. :o

I would politely decline if you feel uncomfortable…hope it works out.*
 
whatevergirl said:
*I am leaning in agreement with you Epistemes. Something about how you’re posting her tone, that her tone seemed endearing, it’s highly possible that she innocently just wants to have lunch, and thinks you are a nice person.

That said, best to not go to the lunch, of course. I agree with others in that regard. It’s possible she could be filled with the Holy Spirit, and thus, she is beaming. I know a few people like that, who don’t mean to come across flirty, but they come across in a very endearing, sincere way. Like she is interested in you, but not **interested ***in you. You know? I think I know what you’re saying. :o

I would politely decline if you feel uncomfortable…hope it works out.
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Those are good points to keep under consideration. Most of us have jumped on the “Harlot!” bandwagon. It’s good to consider other possibilities.
 
I just skimmed through the posts. It seems that many are making something out of nothing. Yes. She flirted with you. Sometimes women do that. There is no reason at all to avoid her. I have known attractive women who flirt with men. They do it to make the guy feel better about himself. Have you considered that she may be trying to help you have a better day? Let it go. Consider it a compliment.
 
Nah, no fair to assume she was flirting. I think thinking that she was hitting on you will just make your decisions more difficult (make her more attractive). So do what you need to do, be that staying away from her as the hormones decree, but really, she could have been just being nice.
 
Nec5 said:
No woman on the planet would do these things in this sequence unless she was flirting. The repetition of “I think about you a lot” is to make sure you get the message that she is in to you. Stay away from her.
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Yes.
 
dakotagirl said:
Nah, no fair to assume she was flirting. I think thinking that she was hitting on you will just make your decisions more difficult (make her more attractive). So do what you need to do, be that staying away from her as the hormones decree, but really, she could have been just being nice.
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Yes, but.
 
Joe_5859 said:
Those are good points to keep under consideration. Most of us have jumped on the “Harlot!” bandwagon. It’s good to consider other possibilities.
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Yup. If it’s something that wouldn’t be bad between a brother and sister, there’s a chance it’s done in a brotherly or sisterly way. Anyway, give her the benefit of doubt until there are some clear signs and then employ Kage’s solution. If someone’s complimenting you or being kind to you, or making you feel better about yourself (even via “affirming” you as an attractive guy), it’s not yet a bad thing - a bad thing is when someone’s trying to lure you and claim you when either of you isn’t single. This day and age, we’re generally hands-offish introverts, but it doesn’t mean that when a woman builds up your self-esteem a bit she’s hitting on you, or when a guy smiles at or hugs another guy, it doesn’t mean they’re gay. 😛 Of course, there are people who flirt without realising (I can tell a crush and sometimes it looks like someone is having one on someone one shouldn’t), but that’s a different story. Anyway, don’t despair, don’t let drama rear its ugly head (or something like that) and keep your head cool. If it’s challenging your resolve not to think improper things about married ladies, then quit.
 
Ditto 1ke…

Doesnt matter if shes flirting- bottom line is shes married. Stay away from her. She doesnt have any business touching/speaking to you in that manner…While some people maybe overly ‘friendly’, the fact that at each time her husband is NOT there, just makes it scandalous.
 
There is a thing called “occasions of sin” and we are to avoid them. Even if the “occasions” are not themselves sinful; they can become sinful.

The flirty behavior may not be a big deal, it may not be real, it may not lead to anything.

Or it might.

Unless you know for sure it’s not anything, especially if you don’t have much experience in the “romance” department, then it’s best to avoid contact. And it appears from your posts that you do not have any experience in flirty communications. You do need to develop some skills in that area, but this gal doesn’t appear to be the right person to gain that experience with. However, “friendly touching” is generally off limits especially with someone who is married to someone else.

There is also a thing called “custody of the eyes”. Meaning to avoid eye contact with “situations” that could lead to sin. [It gets to be problematical with “universal cleavage” that seems to be so prevalent. MY GOODNESS!]

You want to avoid scrupulosity, but you also want to avoid getting into a situation that you aren’t equipped to handle. Even a priest, according to a previous post, got into serious trouble by letting a situation get out of hand that could and should have been avoided completely.

You can’t get into trouble by changing the habitual patterns just to be on the safe side.

Practice your flirting skills with potential marriage partners. And get to Mass daily to get the grace to handle whatever develops. Invoke the Holy Spirit daily. If you want to marry someone who is a good Catholic, get a reputation for being a devout daily Communicant. And when you date, consider going to Mass together as a date. That’s a good way to find someone you can be “synchronized” with.
 
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