Dear Carol Marie,
Please know I have kept you in my daily prayers and have talked to my Priest about this too, as I wondered if I could have been complicit in your feeling scandalized and he gave me some wise words, which I hope you will think about also.
He told me that there is a “mob” mentality that can prevade on forums such as this, everyone here is well meaning, but not fully aware of you Carol- of your heart and spirituality. The comments you see here as well intentioned as they may be, could end up being very hurtful to you, even scandalous.
You are not any less a Catholic for thinking what you do, or any less a Catholic for being a convert- you have JUST as much right to say what you feel as a CRADLE who (while being well-intentioned) is intimidating, and possibly humilitating you (not realizing it)
I personally apologize if I have been a source of consternation to you, and I am very certain that everyone here (even if they hold another view) has been greatly concerned about you, and praying for you.
His advice was to seek your spiritual director, or any priest you feel you can speak to about this. Forums are fantastic for so many things. But, if you ever feel that you can no longer be a Catholic or question your faith over a fourm, you must realize that no one here can be a substitute for a real time converstation.
Did you read Die Verbum? Please try to go through it, it will help you so very much. I have been digging up links I hope to post to you Via PM that also may help too. In the next few days. Also, please try to forgive us all if you can find it in your heart to do so.
I am so very worried about you sister, and I can tell you I do love you no matter what you do end up doing. But, dont give up so fast. I have every intention of doing anything I can and so do many others here, to make sure you know that you are not “wrong”! for feeling this way!!!
I am bad at writing., so forgive me for that.
Just ignore that and see I care and I care **no matter what **you do.