Was there anything I could/should have done?

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Book_Worm

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When DD was married, several family members I know are fallen-away Catholics received Communion during the Nuptual Mass.

She was married in the chapel in her HS, so there were no missalettes with the Order of Mass and the usual admonition of who should receive the Eucharist that are normally found in church pews. Frankly, it had never occurred to me that this would happen so we didn’t put anything in the program about it. And all of the non-Catholics knew that this would not be appropriate. Everyone who did had gone through twelve years of Catholic school and should have known better. I’m sure they were doing it out of love and support, but I was truly taken aback.

Honestly, thoughts of dramatically shouting “Stop!” did flit through my mind, but I chalked them up to hostess stress.

Was there anything I could have done at that point? Every course of action that comes to mind involves actions before that point, but it simply wasn’t something I ever imagined would occur.
 
It is between them and God. There is nothing you could have done at the time, but afterwards you can pray for them to return to the sacraments, starting with confession. Also, it may be reasonable to hope that they had gone to confession in the week prior to the nuptial mass, and therefore were properly disposed.
Be at peace about this, and hope in the Lord that the nuptial mass of your DD will be the spark that will reignite their faith.
 
mommamaree said:
It is between them and God. There is nothing you could have done at the time, but afterwards you can pray for them to return to the sacraments, starting with confession. Also, it may be reasonable to hope that they had gone to confession in the week prior to the nuptial mass, and therefore were properly disposed.
Be at peace about this, and hope in the Lord that the nuptial mass of your DD will be the spark that will reignite their faith.
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Well said.
Mary.
 
Agree with the above two posters.

There is nothing you can do.
I watched a Protestant co-worker receive Communion at our other co-worker’s Catholic wedding. It upset me. However, I think this person was innocent and truly unaware of the teaching and would never have intentionally offended God or the Catholic Church. IMO, God didn’t take offense at her action because I truly don’t think she meant any. It’s probably the same with your wedding guests. Even when we believe people should know better, they may not. Most people who attend a wedding do not come there with any sort of intention to offend God, the Church, or the other wedding guests.
 
The only thing I can think of that you might have done was printed something in the worship aid or asked the priest to make an announcement prior to communion. Even so, the announcement usually states “Catholics in good standing…” or something like that and some of those people may think that since they hadn’t killed anyone recently they are probably in good standing. On the other hand, some of them may be more practicing than you are aware and could even have been to reconcilliation recently, so one never knows. I don’t think you should have said anything at that point.
 
Yes, “in the moment” is definitely not the time to try to do something. What would you do that wouldn’t interrupt the liturgy and publicly humiliate them? That would not be appropriate.

A note in the program and a word from the priest beforehand is the way to go. But even with this, there will be those who don’t pay attention or who just assume that it does not apply to them. There’s nothing you can do about that.
 
Book_Worm said:
When DD was married, several family members I know are fallen-away Catholics received Communion during the Nuptual Mass.

She was married in the chapel in her HS, so there were no missalettes with the Order of Mass and the usual admonition of who should receive the Eucharist that are normally found in church pews. Frankly, it had never occurred to me that this would happen so we didn’t put anything in the program about it. And all of the non-Catholics knew that this would not be appropriate. Everyone who did had gone through twelve years of Catholic school and should have known better. I’m sure they were doing it out of love and support, but I was truly taken aback.

Honestly, thoughts of dramatically shouting “Stop!” did flit through my mind, but I chalked them up to hostess stress.

Was there anything I could have done at that point? Every course of action that comes to mind involves actions before that point, but it simply wasn’t something I ever imagined would occur.
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You were the mother of the bride. You had a beautiful Mass for your daughter and son-in-law’s wedding. Your daughter and son-in-law were surrounded by family and friends - Catholic and non-Catholic.

You did not think about having a Mass aid that had the instructions for Holy Communion. The priest did not announce the instructions for Holy Communion. Those who attended are either Catholic who have the responsibility of knowing the instructions for Holy Communion or Non-Catholic who displayed that they knew not to receive.

Although it can be nice to have the instructions on the Mass aid, it is not a requirement for you or for you to be responsible for the actions of who receives and who doesn’t. Someone who is non-practicing and goes to communion, might have still received even if the instructions were read.

As another person stated, maybe the person went to confession recently.

You did what you were suppose to do. You had a beautiful wedding Mass for your daughter and son-in-law.

Do not carry with you guilt for what someone may have done in not properly receiving Holy Communion. God knows what was in their heart. He knows if they even understood they should not be receiving. Many people do not understand that they should not be receiving.
 
I have this figured out for when my daughter gets married.

At the bridal showers and bachelor party, plus the reshearsal/out-of-towners dinner, I will announce that confession will be available before the Nuptial Mass, and I expect a long line behind me…or else!
 
fastenatingguy said:
I have this figured out for when my daughter gets married.

At the bridal showers and bachelor party, plus the reshearsal/out-of-towners dinner, I will announce that confession will be available before the Nuptial Mass, and I expect a long line behind me…or else!
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I hope you’re joking. 🙂
 
fastenatingguy said:
I have this figured out for when my daughter gets married.

At the bridal showers and bachelor party, plus the reshearsal/out-of-towners dinner, I will announce that confession will be available before the Nuptial Mass, and I expect a long line behind me…or else!
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:rotfl:
That is a good plan!
 
It was the priest’s responsibility to ensure that those in attendance were aware of Church law concerning the reception of Holy Communion. It is each individual’s responsibility to act in accordance with that law. It wasn’t even your wedding. Don’t beat yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault.
 
I’m not saying this about your relatives, but many Protestants could care less what the Catholic Church teaches about whether they should take communion. When I was converting to Catholicism, I was explaining to a Protestant friend about the teaching of Transubstantiation and why non-Catholics (and even Catholics who are not in a state of grace) cannot take communion. He said, “they can kiss my ***. If I go, I’m gonna go up there and take it anyway and they’re not gonna stop me. Jesus is my Lord just as much as He is theirs!” He had a very ‘how dare they deny me communion’ attitude.
 
eyesopening said:
I’m not saying this about your relatives, but many Protestants could care less what the Catholic Church teaches about whether they should take communion. When I was converting to Catholicism, I was explaining to a Protestant friend about the teaching of Transubstantiation and why non-Catholics (and even Catholics who are not in a state of grace) cannot take communion. He said, “they can kiss my ***. If I go, I’m gonna go up there and take it anyway and they’re not gonna stop me. Jesus is my Lord just as much as He is theirs!” He had a very ‘how dare they deny me communion’ attitude.
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I’ve heard this before - the idea that the Catholic Church fails to be “inclusive” by restricting the reception of Holy Communion to Catholics in the state of grace. It’s taken as an insult because they think we consider others who do not believe as we do to be inferior or unworthy.

But you are right that this was not the case with our non-Catholic friends and relatives.
 
eyesopening said:
I’m not saying this about your relatives, but many Protestants could care less what the Catholic Church teaches about whether they should take communion. When I was converting to Catholicism, I was explaining to a Protestant friend about the teaching of Transubstantiation and why non-Catholics (and even Catholics who are not in a state of grace) cannot take communion. He said, “they can kiss my ***. If I go, I’m gonna go up there and take it anyway and they’re not gonna stop me. Jesus is my Lord just as much as He is theirs!” He had a very ‘how dare they deny me communion’ attitude.
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Yeah, my Mother kind of had that “How dare they deny me communion” attitude when I told her non-Catholics are not to take communion in The Catholic Church. She did not take communion when she went to my rite of acceptance (or was it the rite of welcoming?) or my Baptism but I can tell she was really offended and even said she would “Talk to God about it” like she was going to tell on the Church or something for denying her communion. At my Baptism, just before communion was to be distributed she just told me that she had to go and took off before it was distributed. Still, I give her credit, she did show enough respect to refrain from receiving. Although, she did not ever ask me why she was not to receive.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Yeah, my Mother kind of had that “How dare they deny me communion” attitude when I told her non-Catholics are not to take communion in The Catholic Church. She did not take communion when she went to my rite of acceptance (or was it the rite of welcoming?) or my Baptism but I can tell she was really offended and even said she would “Talk to God about it” like she was going to tell on the Church or something for denying her communion. At my Baptism, just before communion was to be distributed she just told me that she had to go and took off before it was distributed. Still, I give her credit, she did show enough respect to refrain from receiving. Although, she did not ever ask me why she was not to receive.
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Congratulations Laughing Boy on entering the Church and for explaining to your mother that she could not receive Holy Communion as a non-Catholic.

It could be helpful to explain sometime to her that as Catholics we believe the bread and wine have actually become the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Dear Lord. You can do it in a very simple manner. If she has an interest, she will ask for more information. It may be at a later time that she asks for more insight.

That way she has a bit of information as to why a non-Catholic is not “in communion” or “in union” with the idea that Holy Communion really is Christ’s Body and Blood. As the priest says,“Body of Christ”, the communicant says “Amen” meaning “Yes, I believe this is the Body of Christ.” One who does not believe would not want to say “Amen, I believe”.
 
eyesopening said:
I’m not saying this about your relatives, but many Protestants could care less what the Catholic Church teaches about whether they should take communion. When I was converting to Catholicism, I was explaining to a Protestant friend about the teaching of Transubstantiation and why non-Catholics (and even Catholics who are not in a state of grace) cannot take communion. He said, “they can kiss my ***. If I go, I’m gonna go up there and take it anyway and they’re not gonna stop me. Jesus is my Lord just as much as He is theirs!” He had a very ‘how dare they deny me communion’ attitude.
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I don’t understand that attitude. Even if I had no personal qualms about receiving communion from some other Christian denomination, I wouldn’t dream of acting against that group’s wishes. Why would I presume to set the rules for a group I am not even a part of?
 
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