Emly:
It wasn’t subjestive Please help me, because I have read other threads and they ahve confuesed me, 10 people saying all these sorts of different things.
Please be assured that I have seen almost no issues where 10 people will all say the same thing.
This is why it’s important for you to learn everything you can about Church teachings. As far as possible scrupulosity, I don’t know about that but others do more than I do so I’ve stayed pretty silent about it.
The scene as you described is very benign as TV goes these days, and probably would not have offended most Catholics, but I can understand how it raised the question in your mind, especially with the emphasis Christ put on not sinning in your mind.
In case nobody else has told you this, I will. There are two major traditions of the Church; the apophatic and the kataphatic. The kataphatic is the tradition we normally experience, where we learn doctrine, teachings, and all that, and attempt to learn what we need to know. The apophatic looks at another point of view, exemplified by many writing of the ancients including the anonymous 14th century book the Cloud of the Unknowing. Now the Cloud itself may not be the best book to start with, I might suggest more like “
Mystical Theology” by William Johnson. The apophatic point of view helps us deal with the fact that we actually know very little about God, and whatever we think God is, is by definition an incomplete picture because He is beyond our comprehension.
The problem is that it takes both sides to be balanced. Back in the day, people had lots and lots of rules to follow, and they were seemingly OK with that. These days, with better communications and better catechesis than before, people are learning a lot more than they used to about the kataphatic traditions and teachings. The problem is that makes them unbalanced, for they think a set of rules will save them; to be balanced with a good prayer life that includes forms leading to contemplation (
CCC 2697-2724 gives a good summary of the three forms of prayer) would help them tremendously, and would help them deal with the issue of how can we “follow rules” and “follow our hearts” at the same time. The answer, as we learn mostly in the apophatic tradition, is to open our hearts to the Holy Spirit for transformation and healing from original sin and societally induced damage so that there is no longer a conflict between heart and mind. The rules then become written on our hearts, so they make sense without a lot of words and arguing, and hopefully anxiety.
If you look at both sides of the Church tradition, these types of conflicts may become less troubling for you. Unfortunately you will probably have to seek this out yourself, so you might try calling your diocese office and seeing if they offer spiritual direction. For this particular case, you can talk to a priest or follow the advice others have given. If not, you might try the book I mentioned above or write back or PM me for other ideas on how to get started.
Alan
