Was this a promise/vow?

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Veronica97

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A couple of months ago, I was driving home from Confession, and I was talking to the Lord. I felt that I had really messed up and was grateful that I had been forgiven and didn’t want to mess up like that again. So as I was speaking to the Lord, I said something like, “I want to try to stay very close to you, Lord. I want to try to go to Mass twice during the week.” I am leery of making promises, so I may have even said, “I’m not promising, but I want to try.” Well, I didn’t think I had made a promise, so I haven’t made it to Mass twice during the week…usually just once. Well, now I am wondering if I did in fact make a promise: to TRY to go twice a week. I haven’t been trying that hard because I’m not a morning person, and I’m usually very tired, and I stay in bed. But I have been trying to go to one evening Mass during the week, even though I haven’t made it lately because of scruples or accidentally losing track of time. Is telling the Lord we want to try to do something a promise, as in binding under pain of mortal sin? I’m pretty sure I said I would try to do some other things too, like pray the rosary and read Scripture. I do those things, although I skipped a few daily rosaries, and I have been slacking off on Scripture reading lately. So is what I told the Lord a promise/vow, or was it simply a resolution (a purpose made before God to do better)?
 
Nope. Not a vow or promise.

You made a resolution. Like New Years resolutions. Not a sin to break it. You were talking to God thats all. Same as saying, “Hey coach, I’d really like to try do an hour run twice a week.”
Just a resolution.

A vow would be; “I vow for the rest of my life, or for all of lent, to go to mass twice a week.” then to deliberately break that would be a sin.

UOTE=Verond;12862063]A couple of months ago, I was driving home from Confession, and I was talking to the Lord. I felt that I had really messed up and was grateful that I had been forgiven and didn’t want to mess up like that again. So as I was speaking to the Lord, I said something like, “I want to try to stay very close to you, Lord. I want to try to go to Mass twice during the week.” I am leery of making promises, so I may have even said, “I’m not promising, but I want to try.” Well, I didn’t think I had made a promise, so I haven’t made it to Mass twice during the week…usually just once. Well, now I am wondering if I did in fact make a promise: to TRY to go twice a week. I haven’t been trying that hard because I’m not a morning person, and I’m usually very tired, and I stay in bed. But I have been trying to go to one evening Mass during the week, even though I haven’t made it lately because of scruples or accidentally losing track of time. Is telling the Lord we want to try to do something a promise, as in binding under pain of mortal sin? I’m pretty sure I said I would try to do some other things too, like pray the rosary and read Scripture. I do those things, although I skipped a few daily rosaries, and I have been slacking off on Scripture reading lately. So is what I told the Lord a promise/vow, or was it simply a resolution (a purpose made before God to do better)?
 
Oh my goodness! You had a thought – a THOUGHT – about doing something to improve your relationship with Christ. Even the mere thought of wanting to draw closer to God is pleasing to His Sacred Heart! But this is in NO WAY a vow!!!

A vow – one that would be binding under pain of mortal sin – can only be made with the permission/approval of a priest, bishop, or superior of a religious community you are a part of.

It sounds like you have a tendency towards being scrupulous. You have this idea that God’s just waiting for a way to condemn you – “you had a thought and didn’t take it seriously”… Boom! Damned to hell! – “you entertained a thought, and I, the Lord God, am going to hold you to that thought as a sacred vow, but you didn’t follow through”… Boom! Condemned!

On the contrary! Remember the story of the Prodigal Son. Our Lord is on the watch – waiting and watching with hope and love and longing! – for our return, our attention, our repentance, our humility… and he RUNS to us! 😃 The King of Universe. Runs. To. Us.

Don’t worry about your thoughts, your failings. Keep your eyes on the Father who is running to meet you.

Oh, and you might want to check out The Catechism of the Catholic Church, not only for the sections on what sin actually is, but also the sections on how deeply and completely God loves you.

God bless you, dear one! :hug1: You are a beloved Child of God – keep moving forward, by His grace:thumbsup:

Gertie
 
It sounds like you have a tendency towards being scrupulous. You have this idea that God’s just waiting for a way to condemn you …
I think this sort of language is unnecessary and hyperbolic. I think we ought to be careful that we not label things as scrupulosity which, in reality, could be a simple desire to please to God out of love for Him, as well as a deep inclination to want to do good, coupled with a desire to form one’s conscience.

Let’s not forget that true scrupulosity is OCD, which in turn is a psychological condition that requires psychological evaluation. This forum is no place for such evaluations. Moreover, ignorance of the minutia of moral theology is not scrupulosity, or else 99% of posters here would suffer from OCD.

Regarding the relevance of the claim that vows must be made before bishops, etc., see CCC 2101.

Instead of invoking the “s-word,” let’s just provide good, solid, Catholic information, so folks can form their consciences better.

Veronica, here is an article from the Catholic Encylopedia on vows: newadvent.org/cathen/15511a.htm

What you did strikes me strongly as this:
a simple resolution which is a present purpose to do or omit certain things in the future.
Elsewhere:
A vow, even in an unimportant matter, presupposes the full consent of the will …
Fr. Hardon’s dictionary defines promise like this:
A declaration telling God or another person that one will or will not do something. A promise made to God is equivalently a vow, and it binds in conscience according to the gravity of the promise and the intention to obligate oneself under pain of sin. Promises made to people must be kept, and they oblige in justice or charity, with more or less seriousness depending on one’s ability to fulfill a promise and the harm caused to another by not keeping one’s word.
According to Fr. Hardon, therefore, you would be sinning if you failed to keep a promise you made to God AND if you originally intended to bind yourself under pain of sin to your promise.

At the very least, you would have to say something like,
God, I promise to you that I will do thus and such, and I absolutely, in my freedom of will, obligate myself to this promise under pain of sin.
Now, while even the above would have question marks on it, I think it safe to say that that is the least you would have to do.

Also, I would humbly recommend you ask your confessor about something called equiprobablism.

Again, from Fr. Hardon’s dictionary:
A strict moral theory for resolving practical doubts. Equiprobabilism demands that the opinion that favors freedom be equally or almost equally probable as the one favoring the law. furthermore one may apply this principle only when the doubt concerns the existence of a law, not in a doubt as to whether an existing law has ceased to bind or has been fulfilled.
In other words, if, in your well-formed conscience, you feel there is a 50-50 chance that something is only a venial sin, you may go ahead and treat this situation as if you have a true doubt about the gravity of the “sin,” and thus may treat it as being only venial.

(This is as opposed to laxity, which states that, even if there is a one percent chance that something is a venial sin, we may treat it as such; and, on the other hand, rigorism, which states that, even if there is a one percent chance that something is a mortal sin, we ought to view it as such. Both of these extremes are condemned by the Church, and many “scrupulous” people strike me as being a bit rigorist in their thinking.)

I think knowledge of this important aspect of Catholic moral theology can be so important for folks, like me, who have scruples on occasion. Again, ask your confessor about it!
 
nope. Not a vow or promise.

You made a resolution. Like new years resolutions. Not a sin to break it. You were talking to god thats all. Same as saying, “hey coach, i’d really like to try do an hour run twice a week.”
just a resolution.

A vow would be; “i vow for the rest of my life, or for all of lent, to go to mass twice a week.” then to deliberately break that would be a sin.
Thank you, ourladyservant. That was a good analogy. 🙂
 
Oh my goodness! You had a thought – a THOUGHT – about doing something to improve your relationship with Christ. Even the mere thought of wanting to draw closer to God is pleasing to His Sacred Heart! But this is in NO WAY a vow!!!

A vow – one that would be binding under pain of mortal sin – can only be made with the permission/approval of a priest, bishop, or superior of a religious community you are a part of.

It sounds like you have a tendency towards being scrupulous. You have this idea that God’s just waiting for a way to condemn you – “you had a thought and didn’t take it seriously”… Boom! Damned to hell! – “you entertained a thought, and I, the Lord God, am going to hold you to that thought as a sacred vow, but you didn’t follow through”… Boom! Condemned!

On the contrary! Remember the story of the Prodigal Son. Our Lord is on the watch – waiting and watching with hope and love and longing! – for our return, our attention, our repentance, our humility… and he RUNS to us! 😃 The King of Universe. Runs. To. Us.

Don’t worry about your thoughts, your failings. Keep your eyes on the Father who is running to meet you.

Oh, and you might want to check out The Catechism of the Catholic Church, not only for the sections on what sin actually is, but also the sections on how deeply and completely God loves you.

God bless you, dear one! :hug1: You are a beloved Child of God – keep moving forward, by His grace:thumbsup:

Gertie
Thank you, Gertie. I will check out the catechism where it talks about God’s love. You see, I had a reversion experience because of the fear of Hell. Which was a GOOD thing…God knew it was what would bring me back. I’ve been trying to focus more on God’s mercy, but I’m not where I should be as far as trust goes.
 
I think this sort of language is unnecessary and hyperbolic. I think we ought to be careful that we not label things as scrupulosity which, in reality, could be a simple desire to please to God out of love for Him, as well as a deep inclination to want to do good, coupled with a desire to form one’s conscience.

Let’s not forget that true scrupulosity is OCD, which in turn is a psychological condition that requires psychological evaluation. This forum is no place for such evaluations. Moreover, ignorance of the minutia of moral theology is not scrupulosity, or else 99% of posters here would suffer from OCD.
Thank you, InNomineDomine. I AM scrupulous and I DO have OCD, but at the same time, I really do want to please the Lord. I became Catholic over 17 years ago, but I badly neglected to learn and live my Faith. It’s only in the last not quite 4 years that I’ve been doing so. I have learned a lot, but there is much more to learn. Vows/promises is an area of trouble for me, but I understand better now! Detraction was a sin I had never heard of until a few years ago. I’ve got a lot better understanding of that now, thanks to Jimmy Akin and some other info on the internet. Rash judgement was something else I had never heard of. And of course, sometimes when I hear of something and realize it’s wrong, then I am plagued by those kinds of thoughts. Like the fear that I’m having them makes it harder to get rid of them.

Regarding the relevance of the claim that vows must be made before bishops said:
dictionary

defines promise like this:
According to Fr. Hardon, therefore, you would be sinning if you failed to keep a promise you made to God AND if you originally intended to bind yourself under pain of sin to your promise.

At the very least, you would have to say something like,

Now, while even the above would have question marks on it, I think it safe to say that that is the least you would have to do.

Thank you–that helps a lot!!

Also said:
dictionary

:

In other words, if, in your well-formed conscience, you feel there is a 50-50 chance that something is only a venial sin, you may go ahead and treat this situation as if you have a true doubt about the gravity of the “sin,” and thus may treat it as being only venial.

(This is as opposed to laxity, which states that, even if there is a one percent chance that something is a venial sin, we may treat it as such; and, on the other hand, rigorism, which states that, even if there is a one percent chance that something is a mortal sin, we ought to view it as such. Both of these extremes are condemned by the Church, and many “scrupulous” people strike me as being a bit rigorist in their thinking.)

I think knowledge of this important aspect of Catholic moral theology can be so important for folks, like me, who have scruples on occasion. Again, ask your confessor about it!

The age old wisdom for the scrupulous only, is that if there is any doubt about mortal sin, then there was no mortal sin. I try to live by that as a general rule. There have been a few times when I wasn’t completely sure I had committed mortal sin but still felt like it was necessary to get to Confession. Those were times that could have been mortal sin or if they weren’t, I felt they were very close. I’m trying to only post questions about things that I haven’t read much about or had much experience with, rather than just constant, “Did I commit mortal sin?” questions. Lately, oaths and promises have been on my mind, and I want to try to get things straight. Thanks again.
 
I’m trying to only post questions about things that I haven’t read much about or had much experience with, rather than just constant, “Did I commit mortal sin?” questions.
I think that keeping things on an objective level, and asking for documentation from moral theology about behaviors, is simply what we should all be doing in order to form our consciences properly.👍

Personally speaking, while I am not scrupulous, I do often have a sensitive conscience. Perhaps I’ve gone to confession when I didn’t “have” to because of this, but I’ve also (1) received certain graces I wouldn’t have otherwise; and (2) I’ve learned a great deal of nuanced information about all sorts of things.

I think that, if information helps you once and for all to understand a behavior, then it is good; but if a person is truly scrupulous, no amount of information is ever sufficient, since their ailment is not rooted in the intellect but in psychology and is spiritual in nature.

Whatever the case, I’m glad your mind seems to be more at ease! 🙂
 
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