was this a sin?

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angell1

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so my mom has this thing where she doesn’t like people coming to our house or knowing where we live because she thinks they’ll be jealous or what not. she also doesn’t relaly trust people because she thinks there are no real good friends and everyone is out to get you. a case of major paranoia

therefore, I can’t usually get a ride home from friends or anything because she gets mad and I can never invite people over either. she has very few acquaintances which she sometimes invites over but that’s about it

anyways, last week they were on vacation so I went to mass on my own and a lady at church offered me a ride home after. I tried to decline but she kept insisting and it got hard to say no after a while without telling this whole story so I just let her.

was it wrong for me to disobey my mom? I know about this rule and I know it is something she doesn’t like and she’ll be really mad if she ever finds out. but the truth is, I’m tired of living like this. I don’t be living in fear of people all the time and I want to be able to trust people. I already have trust issues and am trying to get over them. i’ts not all because of this but I think it does play a part.

would it be considered a sin though since I did something I know my parents wouldn’t like?
 
No.

However, the Ten Commandments do say “Honor your Mother and your Father”…

God Bless.
 
No. No sin.
It was an innocent ride home from Mass. But do not let that be a green light to start disobeying your parents.

But please, even if it’s a ride home from Mass, never get in a car with someone, unless you and your parents, really know who they are, man or woman, no matter how nice.

Maybe you can have a chat with your parents, maybe break the ice first with your Dad.
About getting rides from everyday things like school and Church.

If you live in a rural area ,where you have to walk long distances ,all the time, it can be tiresome, and traveling with ,known friends or approved adults, could be better than walking alone after school ,especially at night.

I don’t mean to scare you… I’m a retired policeman, so, I am always viewing the world in a “how to be safe” kind of way…It’s an old habit, from my job.

It’s good that you go to Mass, and you are a good daughter to be concerned about your parents, and that you are aware of sin…and it seems you are very patient with your Mother, that is really good , as well.
OK
Best Wishes
God Bless and have a nice day.
 
Martin_Pastore said:
No. No sin.
It was an innocent ride home from Mass. But do not let that be a green light to start disobeying your parents.

But please, even if it’s a ride home from Mass, never get in a car with someone, unless you and your parents, really know who they are, man or woman, no matter how nice.

Maybe you can have a chat with your parents, maybe break the ice first with your Dad.
About getting rides from everyday things like school and Church.

If you live in a rural area ,where you have to walk long distances ,all the time, it can be tiresome, and traveling with ,known friends or approved adults, could be better than walking alone after school ,especially at night.

I don’t mean to scare you… I’m a retired policeman, so, I am always viewing the world in a “how to be safe” kind of way…It’s an old habit, from my job.

It’s good that you go to Mass, and you are a good daughter to be concerned about your parents, and that you are aware of sin…and it seems you are very patient with your Mother, that is really good , as well.
OK
Best Wishes
God Bless and have a nice day.
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already tried it, didn’t get anywhere, my mom thinks that she’s the only in the world that I can depend on and ther everyone else is just using people
 
angell1 said:
already tried it, didn’t get anywhere, my mom thinks that she’s the only in the world that I can depend on and ther everyone else is just using people
Click to expand...
Well, I sense perhaps, you may be feeling, some frustration with your situation.

Again let me commend you on your patience. Also, it is very mature of you to seek advice, when you are troubled or confronted with a problem.

Please maintain your patience and Faith. Don’t allow the frustration you may be feeling get the better of you, and make a mistake of doing anything negative.

As much as I’m full of life experience and been counseling people from years of being a big city cop…I can’t really say much more except, maintain your patience.
Unfortunately,I’m not qualified ,or allowed, to give you much more advice, because I don’t have that authority or permission, by law, as you are a minor.

However, may I suggest you continue to seek advice, from those, who are qualified, allowed, and are there to do so, like a school guidance counselor. I remember having a problem in H.S. and a guidance counselor was able to help me a lot.

He wasn’t my assigned counselor, I didn’t really hit if off with that guy, but my friend said his was really good, so I went to that one, and it really helped me out.
Maybe you have a teacher you could talk to that could help or give advice.
Maybe there is a Church group person.

Don’t give up…keep your patience,(it’s a virtue) ,and keep the Faith. Pray on it.
Things have a way of working out…especially when you are being so level headed and mature in solving what is troubling for you.
God Bless.
Peace.
 
Martin_Pastore said:
Well, I sense perhaps, you may be feeling, some frustration with your situation.

Again let me commend you on your patience. Also, it is very mature of you to seek advice, when you are troubled or confronted with a problem.

Please maintain your patience and Faith. Don’t allow the frustration you may be feeling get the better of you, and make a mistake of doing anything negative.

As much as I’m full of life experience and been counseling people from years of being a big city cop…I can’t really say much more except, maintain your patience.
Unfortunately,I’m not qualified ,or allowed, to give you much more advice, because I don’t have that authority or permission, by law, as you are a minor.

However, may I suggest you continue to seek advice, from those, who are qualified, allowed, and are there to do so, like a school guidance counselor. I remember having a problem in H.S. and a guidance counselor was able to help me a lot.

He wasn’t my assigned counselor, I didn’t really hit if off with that guy, but my friend said his was really good, so I went to that one, and it really helped me out.
Maybe you have a teacher you could talk to that could help or give advice.
Maybe there is a Church group person.

Don’t give up…keep your patience,(it’s a virtue) ,and keep the Faith. Pray on it.
Things have a way of working out…especially when you are being so level headed and mature in solving what is troubling for you.
God Bless.
Peace.
Click to expand...
oh, actyually I’m not a minor, I just still live at home through university because it’s much cheaper.

this situation has been going on for nearly a decade now. I try to be independent and not get rides from people but sometimes it just happens. and I find it difficult to say “no, don’t give me a ride because my mom doesn’t like people knowing where we live” it’s just weird to me and everyone else.

I don’t disobey them unless it’s something I find really unreasonable
 
My mom was the same way. Oddly enough, once she met some of my friends she loosened up a bit.
She’s trying to protect you. Are you an only child? You may be her whole world. Spend less time at home, (which should be easy considering you are in college) and get a place of your own as soon as you land a good job. Visit her OFTEN. She likely feels like if you are on your own she’ll be abandoned. Reassure her that is not the case. Everyone needs their mom. Do fun things together, and display that you can be an independent woman without the apron string, and STILL be her precious daughter.
 
“Honoring” our parents does not mean we are meant to obey their every whim, nuance, or paranoid fear. My niece believes she has to tell her mom every detail about her visits with relatives when her mom presses her for details that might support the mom’s paranoid theory that people are trying to take away her daughter. The niece believes that is honesty; I believe it is feeding the illness.

Learn what lies behind her demands and find ways to reassure her that you are safe and careful. To tell her everything might easily be feeding her paranoia. I am sorry for your struggles but believe you will learn great things. Be strong and humble.
 
You did not sin. There is a difference here between “honoring” one’s parents and obeying one’s parents. The often quoted 10 commanded says honor not obey. Your mom doesn’t sound all that together in her thinking and requests. The women was being kind to offer you a ride. You did absolutely nothing wrong in accepting the ride and you will not be “honoring” you mother if you end up giving in on all these weird and paranoid type feeling. If you do, it will never end and you will end up becoming trapped and miserable. You did not sin, You did nothing wrong and again to honor one’s parents does not mean you are going to obey them on everythings. Taking a ride from someone at church is normal and reasonable. Refusing to do so is giving into your mother’s paranoia which in the long run no one will win from.
 
Sorry but this is the stuff you worry about…

How do you get through the day.? Does my God look down on me cause I disobeyed my mom…

Seems like a really small world you live in.
 
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