Was This a Valid Baptism of my Daughter?

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AvaTherese

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Hello,

Thanks for reading my post, and for any insight you can give me.

In August, I lost my first child; I was five months pregnant with my daughter when, due to complications, I went into early labor. Because she was too premature to live separately from me, we knew she would pass once born. Our priest visited us in the hospital, during labor, and gave us Holy Water to baptize her.

She was only alive for a very, very brief time. It seemed like seconds. In the panic of things, we were not able to baptize her until 2 minutes after her death…that may have been sacrilegious, I don’t know–that definitely wasn’t our intent, but we were desperate. I wish, with all of my heart, that the events of her birth had gone differently. My question is, is her baptism a valid one? Does ‘baptism by desire’ apply here, as we VERY much desired to baptize her? I don’t feel it does, but perhaps I’m wrong.

I am completely wrought with guilt over her baptismal, and am having a difficult time knowing that she may be denied entry into heaven because we didn’t act sooner. The thought of ‘limbo’ is really throwing me into despair, but I’m also trying to remember that God is loving and merciful. Thank you in advance for your help. I really do appreciate it.
 
The number one thing to remember in cases like this, is that we trust in God’s merciful grace and kindness. Everything is possible in Him and you can be reassured that He smiled upon your child in your hour of sorrow and gave her all the graces necessary to attain Heaven.

On a technical basis, I have two points: I doubt that two minutes mattered much in the big picture as far as life signs go. I don’t personally believe the soul is separated from the body that quickly. You probably made it with time to spare. Secondly, “Limbo” was a theological conjecture that was wildly popular among the hoi polloi pre-Vatican II, but it has been largely rejected and abandoned by reputable theologians. It was never embraced by the Magisterium. The Catechism indeed does not mention Limbo by name, but has this to say:

“Catechism of the Catholic Church” said:
1261 As regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them. Indeed, the great mercy of God who desires that all men should be saved, and Jesus’ tenderness toward children which caused him to say: "Let the children come to me, do not hinder them,"64 allow us to hope that there is a way of salvation for children who have died without Baptism. All the more urgent is the Church’s call not to prevent little children coming to Christ through the gift of holy Baptism.
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Well, medical science really does not know for sure when true death comes. Be in peace, the Lord is merciful! 🙂
 
I am so sorry that you had to suffer the loss of your daughter. Whether or not the baptism was valid, please do not feel guilty. I believe she is in heaven with Jesus either way. Remember that God is not bound by the sacraments. His desire to be with your little girl is even stronger than your desire for her to be in heaven with Him.

From my understanding limbo is only an attempt to imagine what might happen to a person who dies without personal sin and without baptism. This theory of limbo was never officially taught by the church. Personally, I find it disturbing and cannot reconcile it with the loving Jesus we know.

You are in my prayers and so is your baby girl.

Bearontherun
 
Thanks for your fast reply–I really do appreciate it, and it’s helping to put my mind at ease. Her death has been very diffcult, and I keep reevaluating the course of that day. But, yes, God is always merciful and kind, and I continue to remind myself of this. My incapable, human mind forgets this at times! I hope you don’t mind, but will you pray for her? Her name is Ava Therese, like my screen name. I guess I’m not that original, LOL. But, I promise that I’ll keep you in my prayers too. Thank you.
 
I will pray for your daughter and am so sorry for your loss.

But personally, I believe so strongly in the mercy of our Lord, I think she is the one who is praying for us 🙂
 
AvaTherese said:
Hello,

Thanks for reading my post, and for any insight you can give me.

In August, I lost my first child; I was five months pregnant with my daughter when, due to complications, I went into early labor. Because she was too premature to live separately from me, we knew she would pass once born. Our priest visited us in the hospital, during labor, and gave us Holy Water to baptize her.

She was only alive for a very, very brief time. It seemed like seconds. In the panic of things, we were not able to baptize her until 2 minutes after her death…that may have been sacrilegious, I don’t know–that definitely wasn’t our intent, but we were desperate. I wish, with all of my heart, that the events of her birth had gone differently. My question is, is her baptism a valid one? Does ‘baptism by desire’ apply here, as we VERY much desired to baptize her? I don’t feel it does, but perhaps I’m wrong.

I am completely wrought with guilt over her baptismal, and am having a difficult time knowing that she may be denied entry into heaven because we didn’t act sooner. The thought of ‘limbo’ is really throwing me into despair, but I’m also trying to remember that God is loving and merciful. Thank you in advance for your help. I really do appreciate it.
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Yes. I was told this by a priest (two different priests actually) re Baptism of Desire.

Your precious baby was created by God for a purpose. Think about all the love you feel for her…then think about that God loves us so much more. God knows your heart, and your intentions. Don’t despair.

The Lord is Kind and Merciful.
 
AvaTherese said:
Hello,

Thanks for reading my post, and for any insight you can give me.

In August, I lost my first child; I was five months pregnant with my daughter when, due to complications, I went into early labor. Because she was too premature to live separately from me, we knew she would pass once born. Our priest visited us in the hospital, during labor, and gave us Holy Water to baptize her.

She was only alive for a very, very brief time. It seemed like seconds. In the panic of things, we were not able to baptize her until 2 minutes after her death…that may have been sacrilegious, I don’t know–that definitely wasn’t our intent, but we were desperate. I wish, with all of my heart, that the events of her birth had gone differently. My question is, is her baptism a valid one? Does ‘baptism by desire’ apply here, as we VERY much desired to baptize her? I don’t feel it does, but perhaps I’m wrong.

I am completely wrought with guilt over her baptismal, and am having a difficult time knowing that she may be denied entry into heaven because we didn’t act sooner. The thought of ‘limbo’ is really throwing me into despair, but I’m also trying to remember that God is loving and merciful. Thank you in advance for your help. I really do appreciate it.
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A priest once shared to me (and a class of Catechists) that its “standard procedure” to give absolution to a dead person up to two hours after they are physically dead. Because we are uncertain at what time the soul leaves the body. Absolving or baptizing a body without a soul is not sacrilegious unless your intention really is to direct it at a lifeless body. When we do that its normally because we are hopeful the soul could still receive the graces of God, so there is no harm there. At this point you just have to trust in God and that you did what you can and God will never let such a good deed go unrewarded. God is God and He is not limited by the Sacraments.

I feel sorry for your loss. Always believe and trust in the mercy of God. Peace.
 
AvaTherese said:
She was only alive for a very, very brief time. It seemed like seconds. In the panic of things, we were not able to baptize her until 2 minutes after her death…that may have been sacrilegious, I don’t know–that definitely wasn’t our intent, but we were desperate. I wish, with all of my heart, that the events of her birth had gone differently. My question is, is her baptism a valid one?
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If she was still alive, yes it was valid. And, the Church teaches that in these situations you should baptize. We don’t know exactly when the soul leaves the body, so even though she may have been declared medically dead you don’t know if her soul had yet departed.

Trust in God.
AvaTherese said:
Does ‘baptism by desire’ apply here, as we VERY much desired to baptize her? I don’t feel it does, but perhaps I’m wrong.
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No, baptism of desire doesn’t refer to your desire for your child’s baptism. It refers to those who are adults who have stated explicitly their intent to be baptized.
AvaTherese said:
I am completely wrought with guilt over her baptismal, and am having a difficult time knowing that she may be denied entry into heaven because we didn’t act sooner.
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Please talk to your priest. There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You did your best to baptize your child during a medical emergency. Trust in God
AvaTherese said:
The thought of ‘limbo’ is really throwing me into despair, but I’m also trying to remember that God is loving and merciful. Thank you in advance for your help. I really do appreciate it.
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There is no such thing as Limbo.
 
With very high probability the baptism of desire implied in the very same moment when you asked for holy water to baptize her. Also for adults and for the last unction the time limit is half our after the death. Same is true for baptism.

Let my God help you in your grief.

QUOTE=AvaTherese;7237944]Hello,

She was only alive for a very, very brief time. It seemed like seconds. In the panic of things, we were not able to baptize her until 2 minutes after her death…that may have been sacrilegious, I don’t know–that definitely wasn’t our intent, but we were desperate. I wish, with all of my heart, that the events of her birth had gone differently. My question is, is her baptism a valid one? Does ‘baptism by desire’ apply here, as we VERY much desired to baptize her? I don’t feel it does, but perhaps I’m wrong.

I am completely wrought with guilt over her baptismal, and am having a difficult time knowing that she may be denied entry into heaven because we didn’t act sooner. The thought of ‘limbo’ is really throwing me into despair, but I’m also trying to remember that God is loving and merciful. Thank you in advance for your help. I really do appreciate it.
 
Thank you for your responses. I truly do appreciate them, and appreciate your patience and understanding of my questions. My husband and I are fairly new converts to the faith, and although we are literally learning something new every day about it, we are reminded that there is still so much to learn.

And 1ke, yes, I will talk with my priest about the feelings of guilt tomorrow. I think I’ll pose it to him after my confessional. He recently came back from a mission in Peru, so he’s been very busy playing catch-up with parish responsiblities; I felt badly about taking more of his time, though I know that’s one of the reasons he is there.

Thanks again. If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate your prayers for her–her name is Ava Therese, like my screen name. I’ll keep you in my prayers, too.
 
My sympathies for the loss of your child. It must be the worse thing a parent can go through.

I did some research on the internet for you. I googled, “How long can the human brain survive without oxygen?” What I found is the brain may survive 3-5 minutes without oxygen depending on the situation of the person. In a new born, I am not sure. I would like to think that the baby was not brain dead before it was baptised, even if a heart monitor flat lined.

I agree with many others here who have voiced how loving our God is, and that we can trust in his mercy. We do not know why these things happen, but I do believe that you will see your child again.

My prayers for your baby and your whole family.
 
I will continue to pray for you and your daughter Ava Therese.

Remember your daughter’s guardian angel always has her best interests at heart and would surely not have taken her away too soon. Peace.:harp:

Bearontherun
 
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