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inthelamb
Guest
I definitely agree with st felicity.
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mercygate
Guest
You can tone it down even further. The kind of behavior she exhibited contributes to a “hostile work environment” which fits into the definition of harassment and discrimination on the basis of religion.
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MParedon
Guest
I think the best way is to respond in person by saying that you had not meant to be offensive. You’re very sorry she took it that way, especially since it looks like she was having a bad day. You’re certainly wouldn’t try to make her feel bad, but it really hurts you when she takes the Lord’s name in vain that way, it causes you stress and it makes you feel bad.
Say it as nicely as you can and you probably will get a better answer because people usually have a harder time being as rude face-to-face.
If she blows up at you again and continues to be blatently offensive, I would take it to the manager, show him/her the e-mail and say that you don’t want to raise a ruckus, but you tried to solve the conflict amicably and since your co-worker continues inspite the fact that she knows it’s hurtful, you consider it a form of harrassment.
I really wouldn’t want to go the manager with this issue unless your co-worker just goes totally overboard and starts saying the Lord’s name in vain just to spite you and irritate you.
Say it as nicely as you can and you probably will get a better answer because people usually have a harder time being as rude face-to-face.
If she blows up at you again and continues to be blatently offensive, I would take it to the manager, show him/her the e-mail and say that you don’t want to raise a ruckus, but you tried to solve the conflict amicably and since your co-worker continues inspite the fact that she knows it’s hurtful, you consider it a form of harrassment.
I really wouldn’t want to go the manager with this issue unless your co-worker just goes totally overboard and starts saying the Lord’s name in vain just to spite you and irritate you.
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ProudArmyWife
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Nice comeback!
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Sir_Knight
Guest
st_felicity said:
We are called to be like Christ, are we not? Well, scripture is filled with examples of how Christ showed mercy and compassion to those that admitted their failings and wanted to repent. On the other hand, those that refused to admit their faults (like the scribes), he was less than charitable to. Often calling them a brood of vibers.
This woman failed to acknowledge her wrong doings. Thus, we should follow Christ’s example and treat her the same way that he treat those that didn’t acknowldege their failings.
That said, I stand by my original recommendation. However, you have to work with her and I don’t so you may want to think twice about how you handle it.
On a personal note … my district manager sent out an e-mail to his district that " … the G__ D___ meeting was going to be held on … ". Even though he was my district manager and could easily fire me, I did a “reply all” and told him how offend I was by him taking the Lord’s name in vain. After reading my reply, co-workers stopped by and told me that I better start emptying my desk. However, the following day he came by and offered his apologies.
I may be wrong, but if nothing further is said, this woman may think that she put you in your place and may do this again.
Look at it this way, it isn’t a matter of being right but a matter of getting her to change her ways so that she will not be punished in the after life for taking the Lord’s name in vain. Do we, or do we not, have a responsibility to correct those that are acting sinfully? Pointing out her flaw, is the charitable thing to do.
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st_felicity
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Sir Knight:
We do have a responsibility to correct those who err–but whe should strive to preserve their dignity. Her flaw has been pointed out–now she needs to be able to see her error without the foggy lenses of embarassment or anger. The best move is to come to her humbly–Christ was loving to the woman at the well–ultimately the goal is to have her “sin no more.”
“Often”?..I can think of one occasion…but, point taken. Still, I wouldn’t characterize Jesus as “less than charitable.”
We do have a responsibility to correct those who err–but whe should strive to preserve their dignity. Her flaw has been pointed out–now she needs to be able to see her error without the foggy lenses of embarassment or anger. The best move is to come to her humbly–Christ was loving to the woman at the well–ultimately the goal is to have her “sin no more.”
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rayne89
Guest
Sir Knight:
No offense Sir Knight but I found that your suggested responses sounded some what self righteous. When will this woman really understand her offense? When she knows the love of Christ and her heart would ache to offend our Lord. Not by accusations like Are you implying that you are Christian? I couldn’t tell by the way you were breaking the second commandment of God . As if all of us Christians never break any commandments. Remember what the Bible says about removing the beam from your own eye before pointing out the speck in anothers.
Pointing out your rights and quoting Bible verses isn’t going to make this women suddenly change her ways. She’s obviously not at a place in her life where Bible quotes are meaningful to her. Conversion is the ulimate goal and a little humility goes a long way. Should we have to put up with being offended, no ofcourse not. But sometimes it’s part of the cross of being a Christian in a very secular world.
If someone is on the defensive they aren’t listening. The media protrays Christians as elitist, holier than thou, finger pointers and a lot of people buy into that notion. Unfortunately Christians have to walk a very fine line between proclaiming and defending Gospel truths and meeting people where they are in their faith walk. The bottom line is how do we draw people to Christ? We need to take the more difficult path. We have to be the better person.
No offense Sir Knight but I found that your suggested responses sounded some what self righteous. When will this woman really understand her offense? When she knows the love of Christ and her heart would ache to offend our Lord. Not by accusations like Are you implying that you are Christian? I couldn’t tell by the way you were breaking the second commandment of God . As if all of us Christians never break any commandments. Remember what the Bible says about removing the beam from your own eye before pointing out the speck in anothers.
Pointing out your rights and quoting Bible verses isn’t going to make this women suddenly change her ways. She’s obviously not at a place in her life where Bible quotes are meaningful to her. Conversion is the ulimate goal and a little humility goes a long way. Should we have to put up with being offended, no ofcourse not. But sometimes it’s part of the cross of being a Christian in a very secular world.
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Sir_Knight
Guest
st_felicity said:
From the book of Matthew alone: * Matthew 3:7 - But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sad’ducees coming for baptism, he said to them, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come?
- Matthew 12:34 - *You brood of vipers! how can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. *
- Matthew 23:33 - You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?
Didn’t bother to check the other three gospels but if I were to venture a guess, I would think that it would be mentioned in them as well. And how “charitable” was Jesus when He saw His Father house being used disrespectfully?
No offense taken and you may indeed be correct. However, it has been my experience in life that kindness is often mistaken for weakness and the other person often assumes that they can take even more liberties resulting in things getting even more complicated down the road.
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Pug
Guest
It is not out of line to request that Jesus’s name not be used as a swear! However, I have some thoughts.
I don’t know the person in question, but most people I know who would use Jesus’s name in that way 6 times in a row would still be very upset about whatever it was for awhile. I would allow much more time to pass. I’d probably go for the next day. I think they will be the most likely to not take offense if you wait until their mind is refreshed (clearly their mind needs refreshing).
I think it is important to optimize the chance of them not taking offense. If they (merely) take offense, your correction is not going to benefit them. A big goal here is for the correction to help them the most it can. If they are refreshed, it can better help them.
I don’t know the person in question, but most people I know who would use Jesus’s name in that way 6 times in a row would still be very upset about whatever it was for awhile. I would allow much more time to pass. I’d probably go for the next day. I think they will be the most likely to not take offense if you wait until their mind is refreshed (clearly their mind needs refreshing).
I think it is important to optimize the chance of them not taking offense. If they (merely) take offense, your correction is not going to benefit them. A big goal here is for the correction to help them the most it can. If they are refreshed, it can better help them.
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st_felicity
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Okay–twice…(3:7–it John the Baptist speaking)…I did quickly look over the other gospels and the MT 23:33 incedent is also in Luke–but no snakes…granted, I didn’t look closely…
I’m not lookin’ for a quarrel–we obviously have different “styles”. No biggie…
Sir Knight:
I’m not lookin’ for a quarrel–we obviously have different “styles”. No biggie…
Sir Knight:
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Sir_Knight
Guest
This is true. I use to be told that I was a "nice guy, perhaps too nice for my own good. If I had the time, I could tell you story after story of situations which became much more complicated and became bigger problems than they would have been if I didn’t give the person the benefit of the doubt or another chance.
Perhaps I have OVERcompensated and swung TOO far in the opposite direction of “self righteous” – it’s hard to tell where the correct balance is
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martino
Guest
Her response is the exact response that i would have expected. I would not be too bothered by it and wouldnt be surprised if she stopped the language after she takes the time to think it through.
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Yaegel
Guest
Blessed are you Felra. Rejoice. You’ve been persecuted for Christ’s Name.
“Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Mt.5.11,12.
The Gospel is lived out everyday. Even in the workplace.
“Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in Heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Mt.5.11,12.
The Gospel is lived out everyday. Even in the workplace.
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jimmy
Guest
I liked how you responded.
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felra
Guest
. I notice that this is usually stated in an exasperated, frustrated, or angry voice tone. I do not believe that your intention is to offend anyone who is Christian, but I do find this an offensive use of a holy name of my Christian faith. I have decided to begin to initially give individual feedback at a totally informal request level that the person speaking this sacred name of my personal faith please make an attempt to refrain from using the name Jesus Christ in an inappropriate, insensitive manner.
Thank you.]
……….Here is my co-workers response:
[You know what?
I don’t need to hear this from you.
And you aren’t the only one who has this Christian faith.
While I don’t mean to offend, I certainly don’t have to answer to you. I answer to God, not humans.]
…………followed up 3 minutes later this second response:
[And other thing, I am deeply offended that you even bothered to send such an e-mail to me, like you’re the only Christian around here. I find your tone very judgmental.
While I understand where you’re coming from, what I say is up to God and me, not you or anyone else.]
It is nice to be able to give a positive update regarding this coworker situation. This coworker for the most part has been on a non- to minimal speaking terms with me since this incident, which I have honored, while maintaining a friendly, courteous manner. Today, after a series of interdepartment emails regarding the proper reponse to the victims of Katrina, in which I affirmed her faith perspective, I received this email response:
[No one is immune from anything.
And that’s the scary part about life.
And I DO apologize that I’ve been cold toward you. I was still smarting when you reprimanded me for using God’s name in vain. I was raised much better than that - by God-fearing parents.
So I hope you’ll accept my apology for my immaturity and impoliteness. It was definitely wrong.
People can agree to disagree - and I can certainly treat people the way I want to be treated.]
I emailed her back and also stopped by her work area to thank her and let her know that no hard feelings, and to let bygones are bygones. Funny how God works in His timing for His good purpose.
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mercygate
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Yay! What with all this awful hurricane news, a little sunshine is VERY welcome! Thanks for the update.
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LSK
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What a GREAT example of Christians in ACTION!!!
I have to admit sheepishly I have been guilty of this offense, a habit I aquired growing up and am very much trying to break. I do have a “catholic” …well sort of…not really…doesn’t go Mass… manager that besides frequent use of 4 letter words will yell out Jesus Christ or God d*** it. One time he yelled out Jesus Christ to which I asked “Where?!” and another coworker (I think southern baptist) yelled out “Everywhere! All the time!” To which I said “Awesome.” My manager laughed and said “Oh will you 2 religious people shut up.”
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stanley123
Guest
I think that Felra was correct. And her e-mail was right. However, I also recommend sending this e-mail to the Catholic priest Father Andrew Greeley, concerning the blasphemous and lewd expressions in his novels. I don;t know what a Catholic priest would be trying to teach us when they use such language in their writings?
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mariainman
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I think you came across as being self righteous.Your co-worker wasn’t talking to you when she used Jesus’ name in vain. I don’t think she needed to be informed that she was doing wrong, she knows. Nobody likes to be told they are sinning.If on the other hand if you had a friendly relationship with this person and were able privately and in person to tell her how hard it is for you to hear God’s name in vain, maybe then she would be more willing to be cooperative.
I think you also came across as compative. Since it implies further formal action after the initial “I have decided to begin with an informal request”
If you decide to continue with other action besides prayer, maybe you could list acceptable words to use instead and post them publicly. I’m sure there are some funny ones that everyone can laugh over.
I think you also came across as compative. Since it implies further formal action after the initial “I have decided to begin with an informal request”
If you decide to continue with other action besides prayer, maybe you could list acceptable words to use instead and post them publicly. I’m sure there are some funny ones that everyone can laugh over.
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mercygate
Guest
maria – you didn’t read this thread, did you?
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