Was this uncharitable?

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Callixtus

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OK, something has been on my mind. I was at daily mass where the priest does not opt to invite the congregation to offer each other a sign of peace prior to the Agnus Dei.

That is a perfectly legimitate decision on his part, according to the rules.

Now, at this parish, I think most people don’t know or realize this, and most of them turn to wave to each other and even sometimes shake hands while the priest is silently performing the fractal rite. He simply says “peace be with you” and then goes into the preparations for the Agnus Dei. This is when all the waving starts.

I decided to keep staring ahead at the altar at this time and act like I was not noticing people waving and shaking hands. The church is large and the people are mostly spread out, so for me this only involved about two other people within my range that I ignored

Was it uncharitable or unChrist-like of me to not look to the other people who (I could see from the corner of my eyes) were turning toward me expecting to be offered a sign of peace? I am frustrated with liturgical abuses in general (not that they really go on at this church), and am afraid this is getting the better of me when it comes to acting with a charitable heart.

I’m not sure but I am afraid the answer to my question is “yes.” I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in advance. 😦
 
:shrug:I don’t see how it would be uncharitable to “ignore” the illicit actions of your fellow parishioners and to keep your attention focused on the altar. 🤷 It’s not what you didn’t do (which would have at the very least have encouraged others illicit actions), it is about what you DID do, which is give full, active, participation to the legitimate offering of the Mass.

It is never charitable to help or encourage someone do the wrong thing.

BTW, it is extremely charitable of you to attribute the wavers and shakers with simply not understanding that the shared sign of peace is the priest’s option. My own parish does not have the shared sign of peace but we have some parishioners who make a point of doing it anyway as a sign of protest. This “protest” was started by the KOC, believe it or not!
 
I, personally, do not think it to be uncharitable. You, from what I gathered, appeared to be focusing on the Mass, and specifically on what… phase you were currently at. The pace of the liturgy is not determined by the congregation, but the priest, and what would make the sign of peace more important than the Agnus Dei (especially considering the words). Just think, if you are uncharitable for not going with the crowd, what is the celebrant, who keeps going, guilty of? Relax.😃
 
Wow, good advice. Thanks! I never thought at all of the point about thinking about what I am doing, not what I am not doing (hmm… that sounded funny). Or the idea that some people are waving and handshaking as a form of protest. I have no idea if that’s what’s going on at my parish, but if so, I would want to have no part in it.

Maybe I should just sit in the front row, haha. 😃
 
Corki said:
:shrug:I don’t see how it would be uncharitable to “ignore” the illicit actions of your fellow parishioners and to keep your attention focused on the altar. 🤷 It’s not what you didn’t do (which would have at the very least have encouraged others illicit actions), it is about what you DID do, which is give full, active, participation to the legitimate offering of the Mass.

It is never charitable to help or encourage someone do the wrong thing.

BTW, it is extremely charitable of you to attribute the wavers and shakers with simply not understanding that the shared sign of peace is the priest’s option. My own parish does not have the shared sign of peace but we have some parishioners who make a point of doing it anyway as a sign of protest. This “protest” was started by the KOC, believe it or not!
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:rolleyes:
 
Callixtus said:
OK, something has been on my mind. I was at daily mass where the priest does not opt to invite the congregation to offer each other a sign of peace prior to the Agnus Dei.

That is a perfectly legimitate decision on his part, according to the rules.

Now, at this parish, I think most people don’t know or realize this, and most of them turn to wave to each other and even sometimes shake hands while the priest is silently performing the fractal rite. He simply says “peace be with you” and then goes into the preparations for the Agnus Dei. This is when all the waving starts.

I decided to keep staring ahead at the altar at this time and act like I was not noticing people waving and shaking hands. The church is large and the people are mostly spread out, so for me this only involved about two other people within my range that I ignored

Was it uncharitable or unChrist-like of me to not look to the other people who (I could see from the corner of my eyes) were turning toward me expecting to be offered a sign of peace? I am frustrated with liturgical abuses in general (not that they really go on at this church), and am afraid this is getting the better of me when it comes to acting with a charitable heart.

I’m not sure but I am afraid the answer to my question is “yes.” I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in advance. 😦
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Why is this bothering you? Even if the priest called for the sign of peace you’re not obligated to acknowledge anyone – just keep your eyes to yourself…
 
Callixtus said:
OK, something has been on my mind. I was at daily mass where the priest does not opt to invite the congregation to offer each other a sign of peace prior to the Agnus Dei.

That is a perfectly legimitate decision on his part, according to the rules.

Now, at this parish, I think most people don’t know or realize this, and most of them turn to wave to each other and even sometimes shake hands while the priest is silently performing the fractal rite. He simply says “peace be with you” and then goes into the preparations for the Agnus Dei. This is when all the waving starts.

I decided to keep staring ahead at the altar at this time and act like I was not noticing people waving and shaking hands. The church is large and the people are mostly spread out, so for me this only involved about two other people within my range that I ignored

Was it uncharitable or unChrist-like of me to not look to the other people who (I could see from the corner of my eyes) were turning toward me expecting to be offered a sign of peace? I am frustrated with liturgical abuses in general (not that they really go on at this church), and am afraid this is getting the better of me when it comes to acting with a charitable heart.

I’m not sure but I am afraid the answer to my question is “yes.” I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in advance. 😦
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During the Agnus Dei, you should be concentrating on the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist which is being “broken” during the fraction rite at that moment. Doing so, and not allowing yourself to be distracted by others is indeed the right thing to do.
 
Speaking for myself, if I were in that situatation and the people who were close enough for me to notice offered me the sign of peace I would offer it in return. It would be akward if it happened as the Agnus Dei began but I’d chalk it up to being another distraction and “offer it up”.

If people keep doing this even though the priest chooses not to exercise this option then it seems to me the priest hasn’t been clear about this with the faithful. He ought to give a short explanation just before mass or in the bulletin so that people are aware of it and why.
 
Callixtus said:
OK, something has been on my mind. I was at daily mass where the priest does not opt to invite the congregation to offer each other a sign of peace prior to the Agnus Dei.

That is a perfectly legimitate decision on his part, according to the rules.

Now, at this parish, I think most people don’t know or realize this, and most of them turn to wave to each other and even sometimes shake hands while the priest is silently performing the fractal rite. He simply says “peace be with you” and then goes into the preparations for the Agnus Dei. This is when all the waving starts.

I decided to keep staring ahead at the altar at this time and act like I was not noticing people waving and shaking hands. The church is large and the people are mostly spread out, so for me this only involved about two other people within my range that I ignored

Was it uncharitable or unChrist-like of me to not look to the other people who (I could see from the corner of my eyes) were turning toward me expecting to be offered a sign of peace? I am frustrated with liturgical abuses in general (not that they really go on at this church), and am afraid this is getting the better of me when it comes to acting with a charitable heart.

I’m not sure but I am afraid the answer to my question is “yes.” I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in advance. 😦
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Not at all!
You did the right thing!👍👍👍

The Mass is about what’s happening on the Altar. If the Priest opted not to have the sign of peace, then those who did do it had no right to ,and were acting disrespectfully.
 
To me this is one of the most solemn moments during the Mass and I strongly prefer to remain focused upon Christ. Please forgive me, and don’t flame me if this is faulty, but my heart’s eye sees this as the Pieta moment, if you will.

Thank you and peace.
 
It would be gracious to tell the people after Mass that you weren’t trying to ignore them, but that since the priest had skipped the sign of peace and gone on, you were bound to go on with him, just as you have to do when there is a sign of peace but you don’t get a chance to exchange a sign of peace with everyone available before the Mass proceeds.

Having said that, you were in the exact same position and don’t need to apologize in the sense of asking forgiveness for having been in the wrong. You don’t exchange a sign of peace during other parts of the Mass, and it is well to encourage others to keep up with the priest by keeping up yourself, if you seem to be the first to notice that the Mass is going on without you. If there were anything uncharitable about that, there would be parishes at which charity would bind us to continue the sign of peace through the recessional hymn, because we happen to be surrounded by those few people don’t know when to stop.
 
Penance94 said:
Not at all!
You did the right thing!👍👍👍

The Mass is about what’s happening on the Altar. If the Priest opted not to have the sign of peace, then those who did do it had no right to ,and were acting disrespectfully.
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Sometimes, though, this is just a matter of habit. I do not add the sign-of-peace to the rite-of-peace (the rite must always be done), sometimes I notice visitors adding the sign anyway. I think that the vast majority of the time, this is simply a habit. Only if people are actually aware of the fact that they shouldn’t do it unless the invitation is made, would I call it “disrespectful”; and most Catholics are not aware of that.

The original post said “I think most people don’t know or realize this…” and that does put things into perspective. This might be an indication that the priest should look for the opportunity to explain how the Rite of Peace works, if he’s saying Mass there regularly.
 
Callixtus said:
OK, something has been on my mind. I was at daily mass where the priest does not opt to invite the congregation to offer each other a sign of peace prior to the Agnus Dei.

That is a perfectly legimitate decision on his part, according to the rules.

Now, at this parish, I think most people don’t know or realize this, and most of them turn to wave to each other and even sometimes shake hands while the priest is silently performing the fractal rite. He simply says “peace be with you” and then goes into the preparations for the Agnus Dei. This is when all the waving starts.

I decided to keep staring ahead at the altar at this time and act like I was not noticing people waving and shaking hands. The church is large and the people are mostly spread out, so for me this only involved about two other people within my range that I ignored

Was it uncharitable or unChrist-like of me to not look to the other people who (I could see from the corner of my eyes) were turning toward me expecting to be offered a sign of peace? I am frustrated with liturgical abuses in general (not that they really go on at this church), and am afraid this is getting the better of me when it comes to acting with a charitable heart.

I’m not sure but I am afraid the answer to my question is “yes.” I appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut in advance. 😦
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**why is it difficult for you to turn toward another person in your vicinity and say to him or her “May the peace of Christ be with you”? In event, you are wishing God’s blessing on them as well as recognizing the Christ within them. **
 
Callixtus said:
Maybe I should just sit in the front row, haha. 😃
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This is a good idea for several reasons. The distracting people are not in peripheral vision. The view of the altar is unimpeded. Best of all, one has more time to reflect after the Blessed Sacrament. 😃
 
peary said:
why is it difficult for you to turn toward another person in your vicinity and say to him or her “May the peace of Christ be with you”?
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He didn’t say it was difficult. He said he was choosing to follow the rubrics, and was concerned that his strict observance might be uncharitable.
 
Digitonomy said:
He didn’t say it was difficult. He said he was choosing to follow the rubrics, and was concerned that his strict observance might be uncharitable.
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Yes, that’s what I meant. Thanks - and thanks to everybody for all the helpful (name removed by moderator)ut.

I just want to be of one mind and spirit with the priest in the mass, who at this church is just following the rubrics (thankfully). I was just concerned that perhaps I was being too rigid, especially since those around me likely were not aware of the abuse going on.

I have to admit I am also somewhat privately annoyed by the excessiveness of the sign of peace at many parishes… I am all for talking and greeting after mass and all the handshaking and back-patting anybody wants to do then, but during mass the sign of peace has taken on a significance (for many people) that is out of keeping with its purpose.
 
It doesn’t sound as if you meant this to be uncharitable, however I’ve no doubt that some of the other people at the Mass interpreted your lack of reciprocation as unfriendly, standoffish, snobbish, or some other negative. So, yes you probably ruffled some feathers, even if you didn’t mean to.

If I had been in your shoes I would have given a quick wave, just to go with the local custom.
 
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