So my mother just suffers to no effect? It doesn’t purge away her defects or anything unless she holds my theological positions? xD That’s stone cold, Midori.
Well, what are you able to do?
What can you do to bring graces into someone else’s life?
What can you do to obtain spiritual treasure for those who don’t accumulate it themselves?
If I ask, “What can my 2-year-old make for dinner when I’m not around?” and someone tells me, “Your 2-year-old probably isn’t able to make dinner for himself. He needs help, and you probably shouldn’t leave him alone,” it’s nothing against my 2-year-old— it’s just that the concept of “making dinner” or “being self-sufficient” is probably not something he’s familiar with. He needs help. It’s my job to not set him adrift in the world unsupervised without the skills necessary— I would be doing a poor job if I know he needs x, y, and z, and I go on my merry way and hope he figures it out for himself when he gets hungry enough.
So the same thing is true for the people around us, where “God” might not be in the top 50 things they think about in the course of any given day, whether the reason is “they were never taught” or “they had a bad experience” or whatever. You don’t just go off to church and hope they’ll figure it out on their own someday when they hit bottom; you pray steadily for God to give them the graces he most wants to give them.
So, just because someone— whether it’s someone you know and love, or someone you have no idea exists— suffers, you and I have no idea about something that’s ultimately between them and God. God certainly can bring the most amazing fruit out of the worst situations. Many times, we don’t appreciate it at the time— many times, it takes us years to look back and realize what was going on. But it would be empty and foolish to make reassuring platitudes, that of course [this specific person in this specific situation] is just fine just by themselves, and there’s nothing necessary for you to be involved with at all, and even though everyone in the world suffers, everyone’s sufferings are equally chock-full of spiritual merit, so surely so-and-so’s sufferings are as well.
Prayer is never wasted. Charity covers a multitude of sins. Love is an action, not a feeling. If you are uncertain that a certain individual might be in need of graces, send prayers on their behalf. No prayer is ever wasted. If it’s needed, it will be applied— if it isn’t needed, someone else may well find profit it in.
So— is it really that cold to say, “Don’t presume suffering has merit in the absence of a conscious act of will that would give it merit, so how about if you lend a hand and make prayer and sacrifice on their behalf?”
2003 Grace is first and foremost the gift of the Spirit who justifies and sanctifies us. But grace also includes the gifts that the Spirit grants us to associate us with his work, to enable us to collaborate in the salvation of others and in the growth of the Body of Christ, the Church.
2010 Since the initiative belongs to God in the order of grace, no one can merit the initial grace of forgiveness and justification, at the beginning of conversion. Moved by the Holy Spirit and by charity, we can then merit for ourselves and for others the graces needed for our sanctification, for the increase of grace and charity, and for the attainment of eternal life. Even temporal goods like health and friendship can be merited in accordance with God’s wisdom. These graces and goods are the object of Christian prayer. Prayer attends to the grace we need for meritorious actions.
2027 No one can merit the initial grace which is at the origin of conversion. **Moved by the Holy Spirit, we can merit for ourselves and for others all the graces needed to attain eternal life, **as well as necessary temporal goods.
