"We are Catholic, so we do things differently." How to respond?

[ajcoley1]

I was floored. This from a home health nurse who was making a regular visit to my client. After she left, all these responses came flooding into my head! “I am Catholic too,” “I am familiar with how Catholics do things, I am myself,” and even (and now I have to go to confession for thinking this) “What makes you think I’m not?”
Anyone else been floored by such a comment? Perhaps she was trying to make clear, she’s known this family for years, and they do belong to the same parish. But, yikes, this lady was snarky.

I love my job as a caregiver and I took it ESPECIALLY to demonstrate my Catholic Christian values.

 

[DihydrogenOxide]

I was floored. This from a home health nurse who was making a regular visit to my client. After she left, all these responses came flooding into my head! “I am Catholic too,” “I am familiar with how Catholics do things, I am myself,” and even (and now I have to go to confession for thinking this) “What makes you think I’m not?”
Anyone else been floored by such a comment? Perhaps she was trying to make clear, she’s known this family for years, and they do belong to the same parish. But, yikes, this lady was snarky.

I love my job as a caregiver and I took it ESPECIALLY to demonstrate my Catholic Christian values.

What were the circumstances?

 

[ajcoley1]

Well, I had just met the family, I am a caregiver. He was home from a hospital visit & family was all around, I was told people will be going back to their routines of work, school, etc. I was in their home, getting to know what was expected of me, and I was not saying much but assisting the nurse while she gave her check-up. I suppose, maybe, she was referring to having known this family forever. Gave me the impression she didn’t like “newcomers.”
The circumstances were pretty much unfamiliar territory for all.

 

[DihydrogenOxide]

You could always wear an outward sign, like a crucifix, miraculous medal or saint benedict medal. Actually, you can tell her you’re a catholic. Why would it matter?

 

[LilyM]

Well, I had just met the family, I am a caregiver. He was home from a hospital visit & family was all around, I was told people will be going back to their routines of work, school, etc. I was in their home, getting to know what was expected of me, and I was not saying much but assisting the nurse while she gave her check-up. I suppose, maybe, she was referring to having known this family forever. Gave me the impression she didn’t like “newcomers.”
The circumstances were pretty much unfamiliar territory for all.

Her comment doesn’t make sense at all in the context you’ve given - WHAT ‘things’ was she referring to that Catholics do differently? And why? Sounds like she didn’t know you were Catholic, was it something in particular that you were doing that she took objection to? Certainly sounds lime she was trying to make a particular point.

 

[ajcoley1]

I was just stunned, is all. And no, I did not have my crucifix around my neck, as I am in the habit of not wearing jewelry on the job. Woulda been a good idea. I’lll remember that.

I had just never heard such a comment in my life.

 

[jmcrae]

I was floored. This from a home health nurse who was making a regular visit to my client. After she left, all these responses came flooding into my head! “I am Catholic too,” “I am familiar with how Catholics do things, I am myself,” and even (and now I have to go to confession for thinking this) “What makes you think I’m not?”
Anyone else been floored by such a comment? Perhaps she was trying to make clear, she’s known this family for years, and they do belong to the same parish. But, yikes, this lady was snarky.

I love my job as a caregiver and I took it ESPECIALLY to demonstrate my Catholic Christian values.

“Differently” than what?

Were you doing something that is acceptable in secular settings, but not in a Catholic home?

 

[ajcoley1]

“Differently” than what?

Were you doing something that is acceptable in secular settings, but not in a Catholic home?

No!
The lady struck me as a bit off, don’t know why. After she left, I got along great with the family. I just wondered how one could tactfully respond. I think I kind of mumbled a “good for you!” after.

 

[DihydrogenOxide]

No!
The lady struck me as a bit off, don’t know why. After she left, I got along great with the family. I just wondered how one could tactfully respond. I think I kind of mumbled a “good for you!” after.

Pfft. Sounds strange. I probably would have asked her, “Differently than what?” and “Who are you identifying with ‘we’?”

To me, it sounds like something is weird about her, too. Hey, who knows, maybe she felt threatened by you. Maybe she isn’t really catholic at all and could tell that you were. She could have been a satanist. Goodness knows. Anyway, I’d probably just watch her a bit from here in to get a feel for her.

 

[Blenderx]

Makes no sense given the information you have shared. I probably wouldn’t have known what to say either, other than, ‘Okay?’. Best to just let it go at this point.

 

[heart4home]

Was she talking to YOU?

If so, why wouldn’t you have just replied with “Oh that’s wonderfu, I am Catholic too!”

Perhaps she was just preparing you in case others started to pray the rosary or made the sign of the cross or what have you.

Next time, identify with them. It might give you some common ground especially with your patient, as they might feel comforted knowing their caregiver shares their faith.

 

[DL82]

Maybe it was just one of those weird cultural comments. I know in Scotland, you sometimes get that attitude around hospitality, for example, that Catholics (i.e. the Irish/ Highlanders/ working class folks from the West of Scotland, not because of their Catholic faith per se) are more insistent on you staying for tea and biscuits than their dour Protestant peers. As a convert, I’ve never really got that one, but sometimes you just get that attitude from folks.

At the same time, you get the same kinds of ‘in-jokes’ among Presbyterians (always looking for an opportunity to suffer), Episcopalians (always looking for a middle ground or a compromise), etc. Maybe it was completely innocent.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

Do you live in an area where Catholics are in the minority?

A friend of mine who lives in the deep south tells me many people assume that everyone is Baptist or other Protestant. People are surprised to learn she is Catholic.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Was she talking to YOU?

If so, why wouldn’t you have just replied with “Oh that’s wonderfu, I am Catholic too!”

Perhaps she was just preparing you in case others started to pray the rosary or made the sign of the cross or what have you.

Next time, identify with them. It might give you some common ground especially with your patient, as they might feel comforted knowing their caregiver shares their faith.

I would have chimed in with “I’m Catholic too! What particular things are you referring to?”
Don’t be shy to stand up and declare your faith!

 

[Luvz2travel]

Sounds like this person has an attitude with someone like that sometimes it’s best not to give them the drama they want. I would just respond politely and treat them as you would have them treat you. They may be dealing with grief or other issues you know nothing about and just happen to be acting out on you since your a newcomer.

 

[Tenofovir]

I was floored. This from a home health nurse who was making a regular visit to my client. After she left, all these responses came flooding into my head! “I am Catholic too,” “I am familiar with how Catholics do things, I am myself,” and even (and now I have to go to confession for thinking this) “What makes you think I’m not?”
Anyone else been floored by such a comment? Perhaps she was trying to make clear, she’s known this family for years, and they do belong to the same parish. But, yikes, this lady was snarky.

I love my job as a caregiver and I took it ESPECIALLY to demonstrate my Catholic Christian values.

Some people are more Catholic than the Pope. It’s human nature.