We can only make it two months

[Famof6]

I am need of help. I am 43 and my lovely wife is 41, we just celebrated the birth of our fifth child.

We have been using NFP for 11 years with marginal success. By success I mean we chart and can interpret the results without to much doubt in our minds as too my wife’s position in her cycle. While my wife nurses the baby she does not cycle, so in theory she cannot become pregnant. But I know couples who have become while nursing.

As a result we go without intercourse for two months, but that is as far as we can make it. Our faith is not as strong as it should be, and as a result we take matters into our own hands and perform some kind of BC. The type does not matter, but we feel very guilty and urgent need for the sacrament of confession.

Question: How do you put all your trust in GOD and know with every fiber of your being that he will give you/us the right amount of children.

Thanks-in-advance,
John (Famof7)

 

[Em_in_FL]

First of all… it IS totally possible to track your fertility before your cycle returns while breastfeeding (I’ve done it twice before and doing it again now after our third)… by tracking the fertility signs (mucous and cervical position) you can definitely distinguish fertile vs non-fertile days while breastfeeding!! Take a refresher NFP course or look into these great resources:

nfpandmore.com/nfphowto.shtml - has a great online free manual… specifically refresh on those mucous and cervical position signs… and cross reference with the temperature sign.
tcoyf.com/ - another great resource. Goes into great detail on the medical/biology side of fertility tracking. Ignore the parts about using condoms during the fertile periods (this book is not faith-based)…
ccli.org/ - and of course the couple to couple league has local teachers and a take-home course.

God bless you for being open to life… I’m sure you’re family will be very blessed for your ability to trust in God…
But I do understand using NFP when necessary… and it CAN DEFINITELY work while breastfeeding!!! Just READ and get as much EDUCATION on the fertility signs as possible… constant education is important!
Good luck and God bless!

 

[jwatza]

Your story sounds familiar–we used to fear becoming pregnant and would sin because of that fear. We are now at a point in our faith journey where we trust God with our fertility. We still use nfp in a loose manner to space our children when we have serious reason to do so, but are no longer willing to offend God by sinning to prevent conception of a child. The reality is that there are no unplanned children. God plans each child that is conceived. Although it may be a natural act that allows a child to be conceived, there must also be the supernatural act of God placing an eternal soul within that being. God takes action, therefore He plans that child. Why should we fear what our loving Father has decided to bless us with? I am almost 45 and my husband is 44. We have 8 boys ranging from 19 years down to 19 months. Life isn’t easy, but it is very fulfilling. Oh, and we could never abstain for 2 months either. the marital embrace is a renewal of the marriage covenant and is also for the unity of the spouses as well as procreation, so I don’t think prolonged abstinence is healthy unless God calls you to it.

 

[gardenswithkids]

…Question: How do you put all your trust in GOD and know with every fiber of your being that he will give you/us the right amount of children…

Trust is a deliberate decision. Placing your trust in God is much like learning to walk. Step by step, one foot in front of the next. Sometimes you fall. Toddlers learn to walk because they keep persisting, despite the falls.

When you fall into sin, go to Confession. Get back into God’s grace, stand up and try again. Eventually, you may make it 2 months and one week, 2 1/2 months, three months, and so on. As time goes by, you discover you don’t fall as often. Next thing you know, you walk by faith.

Faith and experience help us trust in God by teaching us that God knows what He’s doing. Sometimes it takes years to see how His plans fit together. Some of His plans may not be clear to us in this lifetime–and that is why trust is a matter of faith in addition to experience. We *choose *to have faith and trust in God. Our decision to trust God propells us forward and encourages us to seek His grace, stand up and try again after we fall.

 

[udoc89]

Your story sounds familiar–we used to fear becoming pregnant and would sin because of that fear. We are now at a point in our faith journey where we trust God with our fertility. We still use nfp in a loose manner to space our children when we have serious reason to do so, but are no longer willing to offend God by sinning to prevent conception of a child. The reality is that there are no unplanned children. God plans each child that is conceived. Although it may be a natural act that allows a child to be conceived, there must also be the supernatural act of God placing an eternal soul within that being. God takes action, therefore He plans that child. Why should we fear what our loving Father has decided to bless us with? I am almost 45 and my husband is 44. We have 8 boys ranging from 19 years down to 19 months. Life isn’t easy, but it is very fulfilling. Oh, and we could never abstain for 2 months either. the marital embrace is a renewal of the marriage covenant and is also for the unity of the spouses as well as procreation, so I don’t think prolonged abstinence is healthy unless God calls you to it.

Your post is both beautiful and painful to me. I was 43 years old when we converted. My husband was 48. He had had a vasectomy after our second child was born. I was 33. At the time we converted, our priest told us it was not necessary for us to try to have the vasectomy reversed, but we asked the doctor, anyway. His answer was that “it could not be reversed.”

Sex outside of its twin purposes is missing something–especially when one of the two purposes can no longer be achieved. My husband and I have a strong marriage (particularly since converting.) But if I could go back and change one thing–it would be the vasectomy and the truly misguided notion of human sexuality it represented.

 

[Famof6]

Em_in_FL. Thank you for the links, they are very helpful.

jwatza. Your story is very insperational. Just the encouragement we need.

Thanks to all who replied.

We are going to renew our effort with NFP and leave the rest to GOD. As the song on the radio is titled’ “GOD is in control”.

GOD Bless,
John