We want to marry but are we even allowed to?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Misan
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I love it when I hear love - in action !
Sounds like your in the fast lane šŸ˜›
Muslim to Protestant towards Catholic -
You also sound like a strong gal -
May the next five months bring blessings to you !
 
Well, itā€™s always better to have sacraments in the Church. But itā€™s would also probably be easier since the Church would not have to look into the marriage to make sure it was ā€œofficialā€. This is especially the case if folks want to get married and join the Catholic Church. One should not get married outside the Church for expediencyā€™s sake and then become Catholic. That would create all sorts of problems that might hinder the conversion timeline.
 
Better perhaps, but a marriage between two non-Catholics would not be ā€œoutside the Churchā€ regardless of their future intentions and if both are baptized and free to marry it would be sacramental.
 
Now this is an interesting dilemma. I suppose the marriage would be valid but they would commit a sin. Maybe a valid marriage but an illicit one? Whereā€™s a canon lawyer when you need one?
 
If you talk to a priest, make sure it is one who says the Latin Mass. You might find less ā€œtraditionalā€ priests less sympathetic, shall we say. There is no point in looking for trouble!

All the things people have said, RCIA classes, marriage preparation classes, etc. are all true, but to some degree vary by parish and your personal situation. You need to explain your situation to a priest. Only he can suggest what you need to do (and of course, you are free to talk to a different priest if you donā€™t like what the first priest has to say!)
 
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Now you are really losing me. Why on earth would you say it would be sinful?
 
Erikaspirit16 said:
If you talk to a priest, make sure it is one who says the Latin Mass. You might find less ā€œtraditionalā€ priests less sympathetic, shall we say. There is no point in looking for trouble!
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Ahh. Sorry to bother you any further. Iā€™m out of here.
 
Getting married outside of the Catholic Church right before you become Catholic just for expediencyā€™s sake seems super spiteful. Like, ā€œWe want to be Catholic, but not enough to wait to have a Catholic wedding.ā€
 
OP, speak to your pastor about the conversion process and marriage preparation. We cannot tell you exactly how long each will take. It is all up to your pastor. For someone validly baptized to be received into the Catholic Church, you will receive Confirmation and First Communion after some preparation. It may be possible to be married in the Church before this.

Welcome home!
 
The RCIA i went through in the U.S. was from September until Easter. However, in my home country (Turkey) it takes excruciatingly from 2 years at least up to 3 years for every convert, depending upon your attendance to Mass, classes, Holy Days, etc. It is due to the Church wanting to make sure that you are sincerely and genuinely interested in becoming a Catholic in a 99.8% Muslim country. There is also political pressure, though. And so the CC doesnā€™t want any trouble with - or red flagging by - the government which is comprised of very conservative Muslims. Therefore, if you are living in a Muslim country, the pace of things could be relatively different.
 
I sure am a fast lane girl, although i can scare him away, heā€™s a bit milder on that front, but i just donā€™t see a point in waiting with anything if iā€™m convinced it is the right thing, such as converting. Most people take their time, but i donā€™t believe i have all the time in the world, we donā€™t know when weā€™ll die, we donā€™t know much of anything what will happen to us even the very next day. So if we can get it right sooner, we should. And also, many people think itā€™s hard to tell what is true and false, that it requires deep years long study, when thatā€™s not true at all. It was very easy to see the faults of islam or protestantism, basic study was really enough to see that there was error in it, and the general rule is that if thereā€™s error in the basics, it canā€™t be from God. It was the same for me with choosing a partner, i had to observe the basics, was this really from God or not. I knew already what i wanted from a man, i had studied my previous failed teenage infatuations and my values before hand, and knew on a basic level what i was looking for, which for me always has been primarily a man who leads me to God, not away from him. And as soon as I knew more what God wants me to have in a partner, it was easier to tick off the boxes. If you are very sure itā€™s right, you donā€™t need to re-evaluate it a 100 times or give it 10 or 20 years. I knew well into first year that i was good to go with this guy, but then again, i was evaluating it from day one, many people wait even with evaluating. Thereā€™s just as a whole a scare culture going on, everyoneā€™s afraid to make decisions because of the limitless options and fear of relying on your own brain when youā€™re capable to use it. But they donā€™t know the decisions donā€™t matter so much as what you make of them, we have free will for a reason.
 
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Misan said:
Most people take their time, but i donā€™t believe i have all the time in the world,
we donā€™t know when weā€™ll die, we donā€™t know much of anything what will happen to us
even the very next day.
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Wow ! I really enjoyed what you wrote !
You have a friend with me, Misan šŸ˜Ž
 
Iā€™d not trade the beauty of a Nuptial Mass for the expediency of a wedding. It will be worth the wait.
 
I would look for a parish that does ā€œyear-round RCIAā€, meaning you can start at any time rather than the traditional August/September to Easter, if youā€™re looking to enter the Church as soon as possible. And congratulations and welcome home to you both!
 
Entwhistler said:
Now this is an interesting dilemma. I suppose the marriage would be valid but they would commit a sin. Maybe a valid marriage but an illicit one? Whereā€™s a canon lawyer when you need one?
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??? Why would it be illicit???

The church recognizes marriages of all sorts. That is because the Church does not perform the marriage. The Couple does. The Church is only there to witness the marriage.
 
That is certainly not the way I see it or that it is even true o their part. If they are living in the same house to avoid temptation it may be better to marry. It certainly is not (especially the way Missan is explaining herself) spiteful. just prudent!

That all being said Missan has already indicated that she wants to wait which I think is awesome. As this would give her the special grace of a wedding Mass to start off their marriage.
 
Well donā€™t be discouraged if it does take a while. Be prepared for the RCIA commitment and enjoy learning all about the faith.
Have a wonderful day.
 
My wife and I entered the Church in 2011. We were married in a Protestant ceremony back in 1995. We had NO trouble being confirmed and received into the Church. The only ā€œdifficultyā€ was that my wife was baptized at a Protestant church which did not keep records of baptism, so we could not verify that it was done properly. So she had a conditional baptism at Easter in 2011. Our marriage became sacramental on Easter 2011. What a joy!

I would also advise you to speak to the priest where you go to church. The old way to bring people into the church was to meet with the priest, and talk with him. He would give reading assignments and meet with you several times to ascertain that you believe the Catholic Faith. Then he can confirm you both and give you the Holy Eucharist. RCIA is a convenience for the large groups of people entering the Church. It is not a requirement, unless that is all your parish priest allows. My father and mother and father in law (who were all Protestants) were received into the Catholic Church without going through RCIA. My father in law needed to meet with our priest several times because he had been a Fundamentalist, however he had been learning about the Catholic Faith and believed most of it. God bless you! Persevere! You will find the way!
 
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