Weaning out 2 year old?

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sdegutis

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Hi!

My wife recently started weaning out 2 year old. But I have a suspicion that we did it backwards.

She decided to wean her from night-time feedings first, and still feeds her right before bed and right after she wakes up (to which our daughter promptly falls back asleep for 2 hours).

But she’s still crying at night time. For the first few days she didn’t, but now she wakes up during the night once or twice and says “milk! mommy, milk! milk mommy, milk!” for like 10 minutes each.

To any other loving Catholics, what’s your advice? I’m pretty glad for this community, because other communities have suggested harsh (traumatizing!) things to wean a child, and that’s just not right. So I wonder, what do you think? Did we do this backwards? How would you go forward from here?

Thanks,
Yours in Christ,
Me.
 
Weaning is hard. :o

My oldest was completely weaned at 3. We nightweaned when he was around 18 months old. The most effective thing we did for that was make my husband the nighttime parent. So there was still snuggling, backrubbing, and comforting (because at that age he didn’t need to eat, just wanted the security). But, as DH got tired of saying, “[DS name] go night night, Daddy go night night, Mommy go night night, and mommy milk go night night.” It took about a week, but after that he slept so much better at night - no point waking up if the diner is closed! It didn’t stop the nightwaking completely - he’s always been a challenge in the sleep department - but he did stop asking to nurse.

I would also suggest that you take it one step at a time. If nightweaning means a temporary increase in the number of daytime feedings (it did for us), I say go for it. Also, your wife can start working on finding comfort and attachment strategies that don’t involve nursing. (That’s one reason my husband began doing the nighttime thing - my son would accept backrubs and rocking from him, but they weren’t good enough from me.) I remember for a while I couldn’t sit in a certain chair with my son because that’s where we always nursed.

I’ve only gone through it once, but I’m beginning to think about cutting back on the nighttime nursing for my almost 13 month old too. I think he’ll handle it better. 😛

Good luck!
 
Sorry, but every child is different. With my youngest, it was fine to nurse for the last time just before bedtime and he adjusted to that quickly. But with my oldest, the middle-of-the night nursing was the last to go.
 
Well, thanks for your advice! We’ll see how this goes. Maybe it won’t be that bad.
 
A two-year-old is still very attached to nursing. It’s not usually a quick wean at that age. They are able to let you know of their misery, unlike a younger baby!

Most parents do night-wean first, because the mother would like to sleep better. Think of it as a two-steps-forward, one-step-back process.

The last feeding to go is usually the one that the mother cherishes the most.

Lots of distractions and replacement cuddles and attention help. It WILL happen - believe me, your wife won’t be nursing a first-grader.
 
I am always a bit surprised when there is a child at this age that still needs weaning, only because most of the children (infants) I have known where eating by 6 months and using a bottle only. That includes those that where breast fed at first.

Now I know kids are all different, but I suppose in your case simply offer your daughter something like water in a zippy cup when she wakes up calling for milk. Also, maybe she would benefit from a late snack (not too close to bed time of course) that is high in protein. I say this as protein helps keep sugar levels in better check (drops and increases) and she may not land up feeling hungry at night, therefore won’t wake up wanting milk.

Offer water before milk and maybe a cracker if she seems hungry and it is late at night.
 
My opinion only, but I think weaning at six months is too early. Breast milk has so many benefits it’s a shame to cut it short.
I weaned my first at 2 and a half when my second was born; it was too exhausting. The second was down to a couple feedings a day at three, then switched to a bottle for a couple of months. He became very attached to that bottle but eventually lost it. They grew up extremely healthy kids.
I agree with the Japanese that cows milk is for cows, not really for anyone but infants. It makes heavy bones.
 
When it comes to night-weaning a 2-year-old, do you usually still cuddle them in bed? Since our daughter’s bed is next to ours, my wife has been sleeping in her own bed, but on the side nearest our daughter’s bed, so she can remind her that it’s time to sleep when she wakes up in the night. I feel sad for her though when she cries at night because I think maybe if she were being cuddled, she wouldn’t wake up so much. But maybe that would actually be a step backward?
 
Your wife’s strategy is a good one. There is a period of adjustment that can be a bit difficult. Every child is different, and every weaning plan is unique. But the plan you describe is sound.

Good luck!
 
Thanks for the reassurance 🙂

Also can someone explain to me this “DD”, “DS” code people are using to refer to people?
 
sdegutis said:
When it comes to night-weaning a 2-year-old, do you usually still cuddle them in bed? Since our daughter’s bed is next to ours, my wife has been sleeping in her own bed, but on the side nearest our daughter’s bed, so she can remind her that it’s time to sleep when she wakes up in the night. I feel sad for her though when she cries at night because I think maybe if she were being cuddled, she wouldn’t wake up so much. But maybe that would actually be a step backward?
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It actually might be easier if you cuddled the baby. Your wife cuddling her might remind her of nursing. If you cuddle her, she’ll be comforted but probably won’t nurse.
 
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