Wearing the veil with confidence

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LittleFlower777

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I attend the Latin mass where almost every womans’ head is covered with a beautiful veil. When I was a little younger I would wear a veil all the time. Never went a sunday without it, but I ended up losing it, and never got around to buying a new one for a long time. Now that I am a few years older, I really want to start wearing one. They make the woman look so pure, beautiful, and graceful, and I know that it is a wonderful symbol and a sign of love towards God.

My problem is, I don’t have the humbleness I did when I was younger, it’s become a huge problem. I really want to wear one, but I’m SO unconfortable in one, it rather becomes a near occasion of sin. I’m always fixing it or straightening, I’m even tempted to run to the bathroom and make sure I look fine, and I know this is SO wrong! Is there anyone who had or still does have this problem, and what did you do to overcome it? Yes, I know prayer is the main solution, believe me, I am!

Thank you, and God Bless,
LittleFlower777
 
LittleFlower777 said:
I attend the Latin mass where almost every womans’ head is covered with a beautiful veil. When I was a little younger I would wear a veil all the time. Never went a sunday without it, but I ended up losing it, and never got around to buying a new one for a long time. Now that I am a few years older, I really want to start wearing one. They make the woman look so pure, beautiful, and graceful, and I know that it is a wonderful symbol and a sign of love towards God.

My problem is, I don’t have the humbleness I did when I was younger, it’s become a huge problem. I really want to wear one, but I’m SO unconfortable in one, it rather becomes a near occasion of sin. I’m always fixing it or straightening, I’m even tempted to run to the bathroom and make sure I look fine, and I know this is SO wrong! Is there anyone who had or still does have this problem, and what did you do to overcome it? Yes, I know prayer is the main solution, believe me, I am!

Thank you, and God Bless,
LittleFlower777
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As a guy, I’ll give my recommendation. 😉

Place it on your head.
Use one of those hair-clip-thingies to attach it to your head.
Ignore it.

Maybe some of the ladies of the forum can help, if my advice yields little. 😃
 
BayernAnhaenger said:
As a guy, I’ll give my recommendation. 😉

Place it on your head.
Use one of those hair-clip-thingies to attach it to your head.
Ignore it.

Maybe some of the ladies of the forum can help, if my advice yields little. 😃
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Actually, that is exactly what I do. I get it where I want it, then put in 2 bobby-pins(aka hair-clip-thingies;) ) and leave it alone. It doesn’t move.
 
Yes, I’ve had this problem, but it only lasted a couple times (I attached one of those small haircombs to the veil to keep it on, I’ve also learned here that a piece of Velcro - 1/2 - works too) at which time I started to see frowns at me or hear slightly negative comments (in fact, I lost one “friend” as she didn’t understand the purpose of my covering:(). Thinking back on all of it, I wonder if it was me and they or “someone” who was using us because he was threatened by my submission to Him? I think it is to be expected - but mostly at first, since our own concupiscence can be used against us (for temptation) most at the beginning of any new thing we do. Whenever these thoughts come to you, just remember what St. Teresa of Avila said to the devil when he started attacking her in bed. She said, “Oh, it’s just you”, and turned over.
 
I have a couple thoughts, maybe they’ll help maybe not.

Instead of a mantilla, you could wear a chapel veil. If your hair is dark, wear a black one, if it’s blond or red or silver wear a white or beige one. Stick an appropriately colored bobbi pin in it and it will be fine. It’s not going anywhere, and you can focus on what you’re going to Mass for instead of the veil. You don’t see it or feel it on your shoulders so you might just forget it’s there.

Here’s my sort of almost similar problem. I’m the reluctant cantor. I can’t depend on my voice anymore because of chronic throat problems, so I only cantor on rare occassions at the Mass with the choir. The Psalm is usually in a good range for me so that’s not too terrifying. Yesterday, there was just NOBODY available for the 11 am Mass and no choir (we sing at 9). I worried and practiced all week long for fear that I would have a crack in my voice or not be able to hit a note or whatever, and I’d be embarrassed. So what I do when those miserable thoughts pop into my head is repeat over and over, “For Your glory, not mine.”

Maybe something like that would help to remind you why you choose to wear a headcovering and help you put your vanity aside. It does help me.
 
LittleFlower777 said:
I attend the Latin mass where almost every womans’ head is covered with a beautiful veil. When I was a little younger I would wear a veil all the time. Never went a sunday without it, but I ended up losing it, and never got around to buying a new one for a long time. Now that I am a few years older, I really want to start wearing one. They make the woman look so pure, beautiful, and graceful, and I know that it is a wonderful symbol and a sign of love towards God.

My problem is, I don’t have the humbleness I did when I was younger, it’s become a huge problem. I really want to wear one, but I’m SO unconfortable in one, it rather becomes a near occasion of sin. I’m always fixing it or straightening, I’m even tempted to run to the bathroom and make sure I look fine, and I know this is SO wrong! Is there anyone who had or still does have this problem, and what did you do to overcome it? Yes, I know prayer is the main solution, believe me, I am!

Thank you, and God Bless,
LittleFlower777
Click to expand...
Ooooooh.

Or, you could get a cute hat, if you don’t want the veil.

Something stylish and cool would work.
 
Thank you all for replying, you have helped, I’m pretty sure I know what I should do. I’ll get a shorter veil, and I will also focus more on Our Lord rather than myself. It will probably take a few masses to get me through, but I guess it’s all worth it!!

Thanks again!!
God Bless!
 
Well, my problem is a little different in that my 4 year old son plays with mine. I would like to wear a smaller one and do every time he is not with me, but I found if I use bobby pins and he is pulling on it it ends up making a huge painful mess. I have decided to go without bobby pins and wear a larger veil so that even if he pulls it there is usually some part of it still on my head.
I tell you all this because vanity is something that I struggle with always! This has been one thing that I have had to accept for the greater gift of my son. I hope he grows up with memories of incense and playing in his mother’s veil and that these will be the memories that keep a warm feeling about the Mass.
 
LittleFlower777 said:
I attend the Latin mass where almost every womans’ head is covered with a beautiful veil. When I was a little younger I would wear a veil all the time. Never went a sunday without it, but I ended up losing it, and never got around to buying a new one for a long time. Now that I am a few years older, I really want to start wearing one. They make the woman look so pure, beautiful, and graceful, and I know that it is a wonderful symbol and a sign of love towards God.

My problem is, I don’t have the humbleness I did when I was younger, it’s become a huge problem. I really want to wear one, but I’m SO unconfortable in one, it rather becomes a near occasion of sin. I’m always fixing it or straightening, I’m even tempted to run to the bathroom and make sure I look fine, and I know this is SO wrong! Is there anyone who had or still does have this problem, and what did you do to overcome it? Yes, I know prayer is the main solution, believe me, I am!

Thank you, and God Bless,
LittleFlower777
Click to expand...
Bobbie pins…I think they still sell them. I have the same problem with the veil-it’s always falling off. I stopped wearing it because it was too much of a distraction then I remembered my grandmother always used the bobbie pins and you can’t even noticed them.
 
Little flower, my advice echoes what the others have said: if you’re feeling the way you do, you probably should wear a headcovering. Just put it on your head and don’t think about it again. 👍 I promise, you get used to it very fast.

To combat the mantilla-slipping-off-your-hair phenomenon you might try something like I wear (pic below), it’s actually just a plain jewish kerchief. I love it. 🙂

You can browse here: headcoverings-by-devorah.com/headcoverings-Miriam-Kerchiefs.htm
 
I’m self-conscious about it too, but using a bobby pin keeps it still and in place for me.
 
I was at mass sometime back in 1980 and was wearing a beret. There was a kid, about 12 years old, sitting in front of me. He turned around and stared at me for about 2 - 3 minutes. Finally, he spoke to me, saying: “Lady you are in CHURCH! Take OFF THAT HAT!”

I didn’t say anything to him, but just shook my head. Then he was complaining about me to his Dad, who told the kid to shut up and leave me alone. Kid stared at me for most of the service.

I did not remove my beret.
 
Thank you for the link, ac claire!

Starfish, ok, I really cannot imagine that situation, I guess if the child was a lot younger it would have been kind of funny, but he was what 12? Good for you though! For not taking the hat off!

God Bless
 
Hi, LittleFlower,

I’d bet I would recognize that kid in a crowd now! He stared, or rather, glared at me for the rest of the mass. Jeepers!
 
I wear a really long veil and throw the loose ends over the opposite shoulders. I know it sounds bizarre and conspicuous, but I feel much more at ease with that then one of those ones with the pointy backs which slide all over the place. Also, if your mantilla is of synthetic lace and newish it might be stiff, which makes it more difficult to manage. Wash it a few times with your delicates and that should change.
 
Starfish said:
I was at mass sometime back in 1980 and was wearing a beret. There was a kid, about 12 years old, sitting in front of me. He turned around and stared at me for about 2 - 3 minutes. Finally, he spoke to me, saying: “Lady you are in CHURCH! Take OFF THAT HAT!”

I didn’t say anything to him, but just shook my head. Then he was complaining about me to his Dad, who told the kid to shut up and leave me alone. Kid stared at me for most of the service.

I did not remove my beret.
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That would have been cute if he was 4. You’d think a 12 year old would know better.
 
Starfish said:
I was at mass sometime back in 1980 and was wearing a beret. There was a kid, about 12 years old, sitting in front of me. He turned around and stared at me for about 2 - 3 minutes. Finally, he spoke to me, saying: “Lady you are in CHURCH! Take OFF THAT HAT!”

I didn’t say anything to him, but just shook my head. Then he was complaining about me to his Dad, who told the kid to shut up and leave me alone. Kid stared at me for most of the service.

I did not remove my beret.
Click to expand...
You should have said “Ladies don’t need to take off hats in church, and boys shouldn’t speak to ladies that way”
 
I started wearing a veil to Church last week as a personal devotion for Holy Week, but I like it so much and I love how it helps me focus on Mass that I am going to start wearing one every Mass, except those that I’m serving at as an EMHC. I’m thinking about buying a snood for that to keep my head covered, but not so that I will create an accident or spillage. :eek: To the person who posted the website for the “Headcoverings by Devorah”–YOU ARE A GODSEND. I’ve been trying to find a website like this for a week now, with no luck! 👍
 
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