Wedding attendance

[spencer2]

Are we allowed to attend a wedding for a couple who are cohabiting? It’s also a beach wedding ceremony. Are we as Catholics sining or being an accomplice to their sin if we attend the wedding?

 

[Sirach2]

I understand your concern. Actually, the church has no restriction to marrying a couple that have cohabitated. My grandson and his wife lived together and had a child before their marriage. What the church requires before the wedding, I am not sure. Years ago, they were permitted to continue their shared life, but they had to remain celibate while doing so.

My bigger problem lies with the beach ceremony. It doesn’t sound like a Catholic wedding. Are your friends Catholic?

 

[edwest2]

Give a priest a call. If he is not available, ask when would be the best time to call.

Peace,
Ed

 

[KLJM12]

Are we allowed to attend a wedding for a couple who are cohabiting? It’s also a beach wedding ceremony. Are we as Catholics sining or being an accomplice to their sin if we attend the wedding?

There are a number of ways in which you may be sinning by your attendance at a wedding. The scenarios include:

1. One or both members is or are Catholic, but the wedding is being held outside of a Catholic church without the dispensation of the local Ordinary.
2. One of the parties has been married and subsequently divorced without having the previous marriage annuled.
3. Both members are Catholic but the wedding is not being held within a Catholic Church (a dispensation would not usually be granted if both members are Catholic)
4. The two members are of the same sex.

If both members are non-Catholic (or they have a dispensation from the Bishop), and neither has been married before, the marriage is perfectly valid and Catholics are free to attend the ceremony.

 

[michaelmas]

There are a number of ways in which you may be sinning by your attendance at a wedding. The scenarios include:

1. One or both members is or are Catholic, but the wedding is being held outside of a Catholic church without the dispensation of the local Ordinary.
2. One of the parties has been married and subsequently divorced without having the previous marriage annuled.
3. Both members are Catholic but the wedding is not being held within a Catholic Church (a dispensation would not usually be granted if both members are Catholic)
4. The two members are of the same sex.

If both members are non-Catholic (or they have a dispensation from the Bishop), and neither has been married before, the marriage is perfectly valid and Catholics are free to attend the ceremony.

Wow. Live the Spirit of the Law. Good gracious, I wonder what Jesus would do?

 

[KLJM12]

Wow. Live the Spirit of the Law. Good gracious, I wonder what Jesus would do?

What are you talking about? The aforementioned criteria are not my own invention. They are describing an invalid wedding that Catholics are not supposed to attend. We are not to lead others to believe that we support invalid attempts at marriage.

So I would say that Jesus would probably support the teachings of the Church that He founded. The Roman Catholic Church.

 

[michaelmas]

What are you talking about? The aforementioned criteria are not my own invention. They are describing an invalid wedding that Catholics are not supposed to attend. We are not to lead others to believe that we support invalid attempts at marriage.

So I would say that Jesus would probably support the teachings of the Church that He founded. The Roman Catholic Church.

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

I am not attacking your response I am just floored by all the requirements, if this then that if you get this you can do that, etc etc.

I have been to a number of weddings with mixed faiths, jewish weddings, weddings held outside, been in weddings where they were held outside in a non-denominal ceremony and I never once got permission from my Vatican II priest. I didn’t know I had 2. Now when I was in the Pre-Vatican II church of St. Pius V then yea everything you were pointing out above would be considered. I even turned down a very good friend who wanted me in her wedding because she was still in the Novus Ordo. Personally, I think these requirements are ridicules except for the same sex marriages. I am probably very wrong and it is something I need to consult my priest about since I did not know I was in sin by participating in these ceremonies.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Oh please. So many people on here will tell you that you can’t attend an invalid wedding, but please talk to your priest. My fiance was baptized and raised catholic but is an atheist and we are having a secular wedding. Several of his family members were concerned and spoke to their priests, and all 3 priests said that it was best to go.

Heck, one of them even got permission to be a groomsman!

 

[PRmerger]

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with rules.

Imagine trying to drive without them. Or play a game.

So why should rules for marriage be non-existent or minimal? Don’t you think that which is the basic unit of our society ought to have some sort of criteria which regulate this?

 

[Burdensome1]

I wonder what Jesus would do?

I suppose He’d give them an opportunity to repent of their sins, and if they did, He’d advise them to sin no more.

That’s pretty much what He always did. You can read all about it in the Gospels.

 

[KLJM12]

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

I am not attacking your response I am just floored by all the requirements, if this then that if you get this you can do that, etc etc.

I have been to a number of weddings with mixed faiths, jewish weddings, weddings held outside, been in weddings where they were held outside in a non-denominal ceremony and I never once got permission from my Vatican II priest. I didn’t know I had 2. Now when I was in the Pre-Vatican II church of St. Pius V then yea everything you were pointing out above would be considered. I even turned down a very good friend who wanted me in her wedding because she was still in the Novus Ordo. Personally, I think these requirements are ridicules except for the same sex marriages. I am probably very wrong and it is something I need to consult my priest about since I did not know I was in sin by participating in these ceremonies.

The Church has not changed. Neither have the requirements for a valid wedding.

 

[KLJM12]

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

I am not attacking your response I am just floored by all the requirements, if this then that if you get this you can do that, etc etc.

I have been to a number of weddings with mixed faiths, jewish weddings, weddings held outside, been in weddings where they were held outside in a non-denominal ceremony and I never once got permission from my Vatican II priest. I didn’t know I had 2. Now when I was in the Pre-Vatican II church of St. Pius V then yea everything you were pointing out above would be considered. I even turned down a very good friend who wanted me in her wedding because she was still in the Novus Ordo. Personally, I think these requirements are ridicules except for the same sex marriages. I am probably very wrong and it is something I need to consult my priest about since I did not know I was in sin by participating in these ceremonies.

Yes, how odd that the uniting of two separate people into one person before God and the community of believers should have rules. I forgot that our Lord eliminated all rules and now we just have to say we love Him and everyone else. How foolish of me.

Vatican II did not change anything. Same Church that Christ founded on earth. The same Church that he gave authority to on earth. So if they have authority, you ought listen to them.

 

[Peter_Plato]

I suppose He’d give them an opportunity to repent of their sins, and if they did, He’d advise them to sin no more.

That’s pretty much what He always did. You can read all about it in the Gospels.

That’s a very nonchalant attitude to sin. Jesus would just “advise” them to “sin no more” as if it were just not a good idea, but nothing really important hangs on it? Like advising one of his followers not to buy that used camel because it had too many miles on it and a flat hump?

I guess you might be right, like taking the wide road might be the right way to go,

 

[Spencerian]

That’s a very nonchalant attitude to sin. Jesus would just “advise” them to “sin no more” as if it were just not a good idea, but nothing really important hangs on it? Like advising one of his followers not to buy that used camel because it had too many miles on it and a flat hump?

I guess you might be right, like taking the wide road might be the right way to go,

It is discourteous to play with grammar to create a false premise.

Christ’s very mission on earth was to prevent mankind from succumbing to itself through sin.

Now, to do this, Christ specialized in perfect evangelization. He didn’t impose, but proposed. Free will is essential in the mission of salvation. You can’t be forced to love God–and what good would that be?

Christ did continually warn of the consequences in choosing sin over His teachings. Christ used hyperbole and other alliterative ways to speak to His followers, but never was He just philosophizing. Nor did he ever take sin casually. But, rather than punish and admonish right away, He often converted a wayward person through guiding them through their own admission of sin and in turn, atonement, such as the Samaritan woman at the well.

To steer things back on topic, I trust that your response isn’t simply to play debate and logic games, but to understand why rules are important. God is a being of order, not causal disorder. Thus, we have a church He founded that has authority to create rules for benefit of its followers. But rules are not there in our Church just to be legalistic. They are guides–some more strict than others, but guides to understand a better life.

You do not “simply” get married any more than you “simply walk into Mordor” or “simply” climb Mt. Everest. If one did, odds are good that you’ll simply lose something important.

 

[Joan_M]

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

I am not attacking your response I am just floored by all the requirements, if this then that if you get this you can do that, etc etc.

I have been to a number of weddings with mixed faiths, jewish weddings, weddings held outside, been in weddings where they were held outside in a non-denominal ceremony and I never once got permission from my Vatican II priest. I didn’t know I had 2. Now when I was in the Pre-Vatican II church of St. Pius V then yea everything you were pointing out above would be considered. I even turned down a very good friend who wanted me in her wedding because she was still in the Novus Ordo. Personally, I think these requirements are ridicules except for the same sex marriages. I am probably very wrong and it is something I need to consult my priest about since I did not know I was in sin by participating in these ceremonies.

Yes, you are very wrong. The examples that were given are all examples of invalid marriages. Why would you support people intending to live in sin?

 

[michaelmas]

I suppose He’d give them an opportunity to repent of their sins, and if they did, He’d advise them to sin no more.

That’s pretty much what He always did. You can read all about it in the Gospels.

I agree but would he condem them for being of mixed faith and not getting permission? I am confused.

 

[michaelmas]

The Church has not changed. Neither have the requirements for a valid wedding.

My point was is it sinful for me to attend a wedding that is not in a Catholic church and between 2 Catholics in good standing? I am attending a wedding today that I couldn’t tell you what faith they follow, am I sin by going without talking to my priest?

I was in 2 weddings as a best man and groomsmen one wedding was in a protestant church and the other outside in a unitarian type of faith. Did I sin by not giving my priest a call and asking?

Valid, I understand what a Valid Catholic wedding is.

 

[Sarabande]

Are we allowed to attend a wedding for a couple who are cohabiting? It’s also a beach wedding ceremony. Are we as Catholics sining or being an accomplice to their sin if we attend the wedding?

Talk to a priest. Having cantored for numerous Catholic weddings, I can honestly say that the majority of the couples were cohabitating. It is actually unusual when you come across a couple who isn’t cohabitating. Whether or not they were living celibately is another story. I cannot say. It was between them and their priests and not my place to ask or assume the worst. I do know for a cousin of mine who was living with her fiance, the priest did require them to live celibately and they both went to confession on the day of the wedding with him. So, to your first question, I do believe you’d be allowed to attend a wedding for a couple who is cohabitating, but it’s best to ask the priest.

 

[englishredrose]

My point was is it sinful for me to attend a wedding that is not in a Catholic church and between 2 Catholics in good standing? I am attending a wedding today that I couldn’t tell you what faith they follow, am I sin by going without talking to my priest?

I was in 2 weddings as a best man and groomsmen one wedding was in a protestant church and the other outside in a unitarian type of faith. Did I sin by not giving my priest a call and asking?

Valid, I understand what a Valid Catholic wedding is.

If you want a sound answer then listen to all those who simply tell you to talk to your priest. As you have seen people drift off in their own discussions rather than want to answer your post.
If you are concerned about having committed a sin now that you possibly been to the wedding of which you were probably going to go to anyway regardless of what your priest may tell you if it is something you didn’t want to hear. Just simply bring it up next time at confession. Easy really when we think about it.

 

[Leon_Bloy]

Seems a lot like the Pharisees with all there rules and we miss the point.

I am not attacking your response I am just floored by all the requirements, if this then that if you get this you can do that, etc etc.

I have been to a number of weddings with mixed faiths, jewish weddings, weddings held outside, been in weddings where they were held outside in a non-denominal ceremony and I never once got permission from my Vatican II priest. I didn’t know I had 2. Now when I was in the Pre-Vatican II church of St. Pius V then yea everything you were pointing out above would be considered. I even turned down a very good friend who wanted me in her wedding because she was still in the Novus Ordo. Personally, I think these requirements are ridicules except for the same sex marriages. I am probably very wrong and it is something I need to consult my priest about since I did not know I was in sin by participating in these ceremonies.

Sigh… it seems like sometimes people are quick to invoke the “Pharisees” when an authentic Church teaching seems “mean” or not “nicey-nice” in keeping with contemporary attitudes.

The Lord says in the Gospel: "In the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again. And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.”

also, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets”.