Wedding attire question

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I think most churches will give you guidelines for what is acceptable. Ours did and I’m still laughing 4 years later. I wasn’t looking at strapless gowns anyway as I have chubby arms and not enough on top to keep it up, but our parish’s guidelines said something to the effect of (part that I know for certain is in quotes): Brides should take care that their gowns are appropriate for the Sacramental Marriage ceremony. Strapless gowns are not appropriate. “God will not be mocked!”
 
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BLB_Oregon:
I meant that, although strapless dresses are not immodest per se in most churches, your conscience will bother you if you make wedding choices to suit yourself in spite of how others might feel. It will put a bad taste on the day…especially for someone like you. You seem a very sweet person.
. . . . . The far more common well-if-they-don’t-like-it-so-what-its-MY-wedding attitude gets a bit old with everybody, priests included.
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Oh oh. I see. No, I totally do not have that attitude. I just know for a fact that strapless won’t bother any of my family or friends. So if it bothers the church I’ll just get a shawl or something. I’m not here to offend people. lol.

Anyway, I have no problem with strapless. I think they’re perfectly appropriate and can be quite beautiful when fittted properly. I honestly don’t see what’s so immodest about them. Especially the “inside OR outside a church” comment. All it shows is shoulders. Is there something sexy and horribly disgusting about shoulders that my sex ed teacher failed to inform me and my classmates of? lol.

Well, we all have our opinions. I can’t wait to start looking at dresses. And maybe I can get away with just having long gloves and a veil.

Ooh, nevermind. Just got a call back from my priest. No issues with strapless. Wear whatever you want as long as it’s tasteful. Woo hoo! Problem solved. Crisis avoided. LOL. Thanks for all your help everyone. 👍
 
I have been to several Catholic weddings lately and all the dresses were strapless. I am amazed that the young women feel comfortable in them, but I was not scandalized. It was their wedding day and they looked beautiful.
 
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Fitz:
I have been to several Catholic weddings lately and all the dresses were strapless. I am amazed that the young women feel comfortable in them, but I was not scandalized. It was their wedding day and they looked beautiful.
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Yea, like I said - I’ve actually never been big on them. But I think if I could get it fitted JUST exactly to me it would be much more comfortable than something bought off the rack. Know what I mean?

Also, many strapless dresses have even higher bodices than those with sleeves. So it’s not like it’s showing off your chest in some major way or something. I think they can look really great on the right person and I’m hoping I’ll find the dress that’s right for me soon. It might not be strapless. I just wanted to make sure it would be okay if it was. It is, so I’m all happy now. Can’t wait to start shopping! 😃
 
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Jaded27:
I’m getting married (assuming my annullment goes through) in the church next year. While reading through “choosing your gown” articles on The Knot one of the tips given is to be wary of strapless gowns as most houses of worship consider bare shoulders to be disrespectful.

This had honestly never occurred to me. Has anyone ever heard of this? I am going to look at dresses this weekend and many of them are strapless. Will I have to wear a shawl or something or is The Knot just being extra cautious?
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You cannot enter the Vatican with bare shoulders, or clothing above the knee (male or female). Unfortunately the American CC has gotten very lax. However, individual priests still enforce such rules. In my church brides who go strapless wear a wrap in the church. They can take it off at the reception. Many strapless gowns actually come with a matching wrap.
 
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1ke:
You cannot enter the Vatican with bare shoulders, or clothing above the knee (male or female). Unfortunately the American CC has gotten very lax. However, individual priests still enforce such rules. In my church brides who go strapless wear a wrap in the church. They can take it off at the reception. Many strapless gowns actually come with a matching wrap.
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I’d kind of think of it as the Vatican being a very special place that you would be extra cautious in. But for your own wedding I would think strapless would be okay in some cases as long as it’s modest (which I of course plan on mine being). 🙂
 
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Jaded27:
Mmm, I am surprised at the ripped jeans and sports shirts I see people wearing at church.
So is it the close fit that bothers people (officially) or the bare shoulders?

Because even if I didn’t go with strapless, I’d still go with something that had a nice fit to the bodice. i don’t think you’ll see anyone walking down the aisle in a shapeless bag of a wedding dress. 🙂
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It’s the shoulders. Nothing wrong with a fitted gown. Egad! What bride wants to wear a hefty-bag?

Conventional practice has long prescribed some kind of sleeve in church (not just a Catholic thing – and I’m surprised that the JW don’t have a pretty strict code on this).

When my daughter graduated from her posh Catholic prep school, it took 8 months of guerilla warfare to get the girls to understand that shoulders WOULD be covered for the ceremony in church (they wear long white gowns and white gloves, and carry bouquets of 2 dozen white roses – swoon).

Even so, many (including my headstrong princess) wore sleeveless gowns without being turned back at the door. Nobody dared strapless gowns or spaghetti straps. There was no decollettage.

I rather like gowns that have a well-fitted long-sleeved jacket that can be removed at the reception to reveal the more dangerous (though discreet) dinner gown underneath.
 
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Jaded27:
I’m getting married (assuming my annullment goes through) in the church next year. While reading through “choosing your gown” articles on The Knot one of the tips given is to be wary of strapless gowns as most houses of worship consider bare shoulders to be disrespectful.

This had honestly never occurred to me. Has anyone ever heard of this? I am going to look at dresses this weekend and many of them are strapless. Will I have to wear a shawl or something or is The Knot just being extra cautious?
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I just bought a dress… and practically ALL the dresses out right now are strapless. It’s hard to find one that isn’t.

You can, of course, wear some sort of shawl or shrug in the church.

Or, you can do what I did, which was to buy off-the-rack. Discontinued samples are your friend because they’re cheaper, you don’t have to wait for the store to get it shipped - you’ve already got the dress in hand, so one more disaster averted - and they’re not all strapless (I think strapless is a new thing.)
 
Wanted to add more about my dress:

I don’t look good in strapless, anyway. And, I don’t look good in low necklines. My gown is sleaveless, but very high-cut in the neck. Too high to be able to wear a neckless, basically.

It’s soooo pretty! It makes me look like a princess! (We all wanna be princesses, and I get to be one! Yay!)
 
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katybird:
Wanted to add more about my dress:

It’s soooo pretty! It makes me look like a princess! (We all wanna be princesses, and I get to be one! Yay!)
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Ahhh, how sweet. Hope you are marrying a prince!:clapping:
 
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katybird:
Wanted to add more about my dress:

I don’t look good in strapless, anyway. And, I don’t look good in low necklines. My gown is sleaveless, but very high-cut in the neck. Too high to be able to wear a neckless, basically.

It’s soooo pretty! It makes me look like a princess! (We all wanna be princesses, and I get to be one! Yay!)
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Sounds great. You definitely want to be comfy in what you’re wearing on one of the most important days of your life. 🙂

As I said, I don’t have to worry about the shawl thing because strapless is allowed in my FIs church. I’ll still have the veil and gloves anyway though.

I can’t wait to start looking at dresses tomorrow. Even though I just found out my MOH already has plans and can’t go with me. Since I haven’t picked other bridesmaids yet (I’m undetermined), I guess I’ll be going alone tomorrow. Ah well. At least I can get an idea of what I want.
 
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mercygate:
It’s the shoulders. Nothing wrong with a fitted gown. Egad! What bride wants to wear a hefty-bag?
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Please open Christ OUr Life, fourth grade version to page 104.

Any critiques? This dress is both bare shouldered and not fitted.

with a pill box hat and floor length veil.
 
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axolotl:
Please open Christ OUr Life, fourth grade version to page 104.

Any critiques? This dress is both bare shouldered and not fitted.

with a pill box hat and floor length veil.
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Sorry, I missed out on getting a copy of that at JW school. . . . 😉
 
Just a minor point–when you see someone’s wedding picture published in the newspaper, and the bride is wearing a strapless dress, and the photo is cropped from the waist up, doesn’t it look like the bride is wearing a bath towel?
 
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Aurelia:
Just a minor point–when you see someone’s wedding picture published in the newspaper, and the bride is wearing a strapless dress, and the photo is cropped from the waist up, doesn’t it look like the bride is wearing a bath towel?
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And crop it a little more, and she’ll look like she’s wearing nothing. :bigyikes:

**Crazy Internet Junkies Society
**Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag
 
I wore a strapless dress at my wedding, here’s a pic:

davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=834&prodgroup=10 (click “see alternate view” to see the front)

I got a satin wrap to go around my shoulders because it was February and the church was a mite chilly. It turned out really nice. Just make sure the dress is tailored properly and you’ll be fine…I don’t see what the fuss is over strapless dresses. Heck, mine didn’t show any cleavage or anything at all, and a lot of dresses with straps did. Plus, I don’t see what a difference two little spaghetti straps make anyway. I wasn’t planning on a strapless dress but it was the best fitting and I loved the design. Just pick what looks best on you and everything will be great. Hve fun dress shopping - it’s the funnest part of the wedding planning, I think. I went with my best friend and we had a great time.
 
I never could wear anything strapless, but I have to know. How do you keep anything from popping out? Is it because you have more up top or do you have to use double sided tape?

And as long as gowns are being discussed, may I throw in a question unrelated to whether or not it is strapless? Does the dress HAVE to be white? If it does, does it have to be all white? I have thought about a wedding dress based on something I saw on the cover of a magazine. I’d like a white dress, but have purple roses stitched on it. Not totally crazy, but maybe on the hems or something like that.
 
Mom of one:
I never could wear anything strapless, but I have to know. How do you keep anything from popping out? Is it because you have more up top or do you have to use double sided tape?

And as long as gowns are being discussed, may I throw in a question unrelated to whether or not it is strapless? Does the dress HAVE to be white? If it does, does it have to be all white? I have thought about a wedding dress based on something I saw on the cover of a magazine. I’d like a white dress, but have purple roses stitched on it. Not totally crazy, but maybe on the hems or something like that.
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For your first question - I think it’s because most strapless dresses (and this is where I dont’ get what all the fuss is about) cover more up top than most dresses with straps do. As one person a few posts up said, what difference do a couple of spaghetti straps make? Anyway, yea, to look appropriate and to stay up properly, a strapless dress is higher than others.

I didn’t (and still don’t necessarily) plan on a strapless dress, but whatever looks good is what I’ll get.

Your second question is one that gets asked a lot on a wedding forum that I’m on. Especially because I’m mostly on the “second wedding” section of it. Can a second time bride wear white? The answer is yes. Can a first, second,third time bride wear whatever she wants? Yes. One of my favorite dresses is pure white with some red stripes down the train and some red at the very top. I LOVE it. Wear whatever you want on your wedding day.It’s YOUR day. I think purple flowers sound lovely. Purple is my favorite color.
 
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