Wedding conflicts and interfaith marriages

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florskie

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hello everyone.I am a Catholic and i have a Baptist boyfriend not just an ordinary member of a Baptist society but he is one of a Pastor on it.We love each other very much and plannning to get married next year.The problem is, my whole family circle are all solid Catholic and his also were solid Baptist.And even him, don’t want us to get married in a catholic church as what my parents wanted us to do.What i am going to do?Would that be necessary for me to convert to his kind of religion just for us to get married or vice versa?i’m really confused right now.As much as possible i want to give my family’s request at the same time be happy marrying him…pls help me…thank you
:confused:
 
I would walk away from any guy who refused to marry me in the Catholic Church. How long do you think you would remain a practicing Catholic if your husband rejects the Sacrement of Marriage? Is he more important to you than receiving the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Eucharist? That is your trade. You would not be converting to his religion, but leaving yours. If he really loved you, then he would marry you in the Church. The Catholic Church does not require the non-Catholic to convert to be married in the Church. See a priest as soon as possible; he will be able to help you to think this through, and if your boyfriend won’t go with you, go alone. I would give this relationship a very hard, second look before you commit yourself to this man.
 
Perhaps aa double wedding? You could have a morning wedding Catholic and an evening wedding baptist or vis versa.
 
Well, I really feel for you because your feelings are overpowering your reasoning. Please keep in mind that this sect of protetanism is so far removed from the Catholic church that getting a prelimanary understanding of Catholicism may be difficult. Additionally, you as well must respect that this man is a Pastor and the likely hood of him being open to understand your view point must be limited. I must ask did you not take the opportunity to discuss religion while you were courting? It always amazes me that this seems to be a subject that we as Christians avoid. Finally, if you get married in the Catholic church you are making a promise that your children will be raised Catholic and this does not seem to probable with a Baptist Pastor. Mixed marriages can work but they definitely have some hurdles that need to be taken care of before you make such a sacrament. I pray that you do what is right for you and not necessarily what will make everyone else happy. You might want to talk to a Priest because maybe you can ge a disposition to marry outside of the Church and have the marriage be convalidated . Please remain prayerful!
 
I think both of you need to learn more about one anothers denominations and faith. I have the feeling one or both of you is operating on “what you think you know” instead of what you know.
 
I know you both probably love each other very much… But I can see many problems arising in your future. If both of you stay the other religion, what will happen to your children? Constantly shuffling around btwn Baptist and Catholic Churches, confusion for your children! And not that I dont think you are strong in your faith- but him being a Baptist pastor and all, may cause you to convert. You both need to go to counseling, and he may need to be taught what the CC teaches.
You can get married in a Catholic Church, but again you have to promise to raise your children Catholic.
 
QUOTE]QUOTE=florskie;5883548]hello everyone.I am a Catholic and i have a Baptist boyfriend not just an ordinary member of a Baptist society but he is one of a Pastor on it.
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Don’t marry him without thinking this through with MUCH care, speaking (& listening)to a priest, to your family & to his …about BOTH of your feelings about your different faiths. For one thing, if he is a Pastor…there will be Much pressure put upon you, by his congregation, to convert. I’ve seen too many people marry someone of another faith without working out the details ahead of time. They, of course, were “desparately in love” & thought that would solve all of the problems inherent in a mixed marriage. It didn’t.
We love each other very much and plannning to get married next year.The problem is, my whole family circle are all solid Catholic and his also were solid Baptist.**And even him, don’t want us to get married in a catholic church **
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Does he not know how much you love the Catholic Church & respect the opinions of your relatives?? He does not have to convert to Catholicism to marry you in a Sacramental
ceremony. Marriage is a Sacrament & I truly believe that one receives so many graces from the Nuptial Mass & one can have this if only one partner is Catholic. IOW., HE has nothing to lose by marrying you in the Church. The Baptist religion recognizes our Sacrament of Marriage, he will not be excommunicated from his own religion, etc.
You, however, if you marry in his church, will not be allowed to take part in the reception of the Eucharist & your marriage will not be recognized by the Church. If he is knowledgeable about this & still refuses a Catholic ceremony, I’d question his love for you.
as what my parents wanted us to do.What i am going to do?**Would that be necessary for me to convert to his kind of religion just for us to get married or vice versa?**i’m really confused right now.As much as possible i want to give my family’s request at the same time be happy marrying him…pls help me…thank you
:confused:
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No, if you marry in the Catholic Church, neither of you have to convert. However, if he is a pastor, that will make you a Pastor’s wife. As I said before, the pressure will be strong. Please think long & carefully about this & make arrangements for both of you to discuss this with both family’s & a priest. You’ll also want to discuss in what faith you want to raise your children.

ewtn.com/expert/answers/nuptial_mass.htm
 
Most of the people I know that are married and are of different religions , seem to go against the Catholic side and than than they have problems later when the “infatuation love” wears off…and the Catholic misses his/her religion…if your religion is extremely important to you, than marrying a Baptist pastor may not be the best idea b/c obviously, he’s very big in the church and he won’t give up his religion…Think about it before jumping in, get advice from people in mixed religion marriages:)
 
Since he’s a Pastor I expect that he’s baptized so you would be entering a mixed marriage. In order to get permission for a mixed marriage you would have to assure your pastor that there is no danger of you leaving the faith. You will also have to promise that you’ll do everything in your power to raise your children Catholic – your fiancé would be informed of your promise but wouldn’t have to make any commitment since he has every right to raise his children as Baptists.

You can get married in the Baptist Church with a dispensation from your Bishop for lack of canonical form. The marriage would be sacramental (again, assuming he’s baptized in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit).

I suspect that it will be more than a little difficult for you to be a devout Catholic as the wife of a Baptist pastor. His congregation will expect much of you.
 
I was raised Southern Baptist and when I married my husband we went through both Catholic and Baptist marriage counseling. The lesson in the Baptist counseling was very clear (and my husband enjoyed it a bit more than our engaged encounter) because the entire thing was based on Paul’s letter to the Ephesian’s and a wife’s duty to submit to her husband. It was expected that because I was marrying a Catholic man, and because it was his right to be the spiritual leader of the household, that I would convert (I’m grateful every single day that I found my way home to the Church!). I would expect however, that the expectation would go the other way, and that you would be expected to convert.

You would be giving up the Sacraments, the Church that Jesus founded with Peter and the entire Mass. I know you’re very much in love, but there’s no love on Earth that I could imagine rejecting the Body and Blood of my Saviour for.
 
florskie said:
hello everyone.I am a Catholic and i have a Baptist boyfriend not just an ordinary member of a Baptist society but he is one of a Pastor on it.We love each other very much and plannning to get married next year.The problem is, my whole family circle are all solid Catholic and his also were solid Baptist.And even him, don’t want us to get married in a catholic church as what my parents wanted us to do.What i am going to do?Would that be necessary for me to convert to his kind of religion just for us to get married or vice versa?i’m really confused right now.As much as possible i want to give my family’s request at the same time be happy marrying him…pls help me…thank you
:confused:
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Do you plan on having children? If so, how are you going to raise them Catholic or Baptist?
This is a very important question for you to think about! How would your family feel if their Grandchildren were raised Baptist? Also, how does your boyfriend feel about your Catholic practises praying the Rosary, Novenas, Attending Mass on Holy Days of Obligation, The Saints, etc…?

Take a long and serious look about Marriage. It sounds like he does not respect your Catholic Faith. Think logicaly about the decisions and how it will affect you and your family. By all means talk to a Priest!
 
I would prayerfully consider the replies you’ve received. They are not easy to read, I am sure, but they are thoughtfully given.

The pressure to be a PW will be strong. Organizing events and attending conferences as the wife of a Baptist, while clutching your Rosary…you will be putting yourself in an awfully hard position. Think of this: Could you participate, or advocate, his giving “Communion” to his flock? It’s not Eucharist…it is not His Body and Blood. You would be enabling “Christians” to participate in something that we as Catholics should not be a part of.

Good luck!
 
gmcbroom said:
Perhaps aa double wedding? You could have a morning wedding Catholic and an evening wedding baptist or vis versa.
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no you can’t this violates canon law for Catholics

pick a religion. You are a Catholic. You are obliged to follow the laws of the Catholic Church on marriage and also on raising your children Catholic. that you could even consider marrying outside your faith and are dating a man who would expect you to drop your faith–which is called apostasy, a mortal sin, incidentally–shows you are lacking in a very basic knowledge of your Catholic Faith. Your first priority, therefore, before you discern marriage, is to ask you Catholic pastor to direct you to basic instruction in the Faith.

What kind of a Baptist pastor considers marriage with a Catholic in the first place? That would be enough to get him kicked out of his congregation down here. Do you have any conception of the demands made on a pastor’s wife and the expectations that will be placed upon her? You simply have not got enough info about this man or the life he leads to make this decision.
 
With all due respect, I do not see how this could ever result in anything but heartache, unless your intended wishes to become Catholic.
 
Whom do you love more? Jesus in the Holy Eucharist or this baptist boy?
 
Thank you everybody for a great reply…Every now and then we’re discussing this very important matter and trying to figure things out and prayerfully we could come up with a better and unregrettable decision about it.And i’m praying that whatever the results, it would be for His glory.For God knows all the plans He had for us and i’m sticking to it, whatever it is, it’s for the better and of the best…God bless us all!🙂
 
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