Wedding dilema, help please!

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littleone

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I have a situation which is.
I am getting married soon (not problem) this is it. My fiancée and I have been married, some years latter divorced, 15 years latter this woman in our church and I meet now, she has shown me her wedding dress, it is beautiful a full gown exquisite embroidery, to a ball yes or anything like that yes.

The clinch is that the embroidery is white it has a white path from the front to the side swerving as it goes down. The point is that she believes one Loes told her to have some white on it. Well it is a black dress with I tint of white. Our wedding is the first nuptial wedding in the church, and I don’t think that black is appropriate. Some say black it the in thing…not in a wedding. Am I being paranoid here>
 
Sorry about the queery above I think this explains it better.
littleone said:
I have a situation which is.
I am getting married soon (not problem) this is it.
The dress my fianse will be dressed in is a black dress with I tint of white. the embroidery is white and there is a slice of white from the top to the side. It realy looks beautiful.
Our wedding is the first nuptial wedding in the church, and I don’t think that black is appropriate. Some say black it the in thing…not in a wedding from my point but… Am I being paranoid here>
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White was not a “traditional” wedding gown color until Queen Victoria wore a white gown at her wedding in the 1800s. Throughout history, many colors have been used and in many cultures today white is not the wedding color.

Unless you think someone will be offended by black & white, or it holds some specific meaning in your culture which would be contrary to the dignity of the Marriage Liturgy, I think your fiancee should wear whatever she wants and whatever you feel comfortable with. If you think it’s a beautiful dress, then let her wear it.
 
Thanks it’s probably just me I don’t think of “black” as being the right colour in a wedding.

For God to change me who has to open their heart? ME
 
littleone said:
Thanks it’s probably just me I don’t think of “black” as being the right colour in a wedding.

For God to change me who has to open their heart? ME
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As you are the groom, you are one of only two people whose opinion really counts…assuming the dress is not cut in a way that makes it inappropriate to wear in church. In that case, your fiance might be able to add a wrap to make the gown modest enough.

If the black really bothers you, though, suggest that you take her to some really great New Year’s Eve party to wear the black one or that you buy season tickets to the opera or the symphony or something, and that she find a different wedding dress for your sake. I’m not saying that you make it an ultimatum, just that you let her know how the dress makes you feel. Then talk it over. That is what this marriage thing you’re getting into is all about! 😉
 
The dress is a full gown and is really beautiful, but she is thinking of me in that her weight is a little over and she would like to “NOT” show this. I though, don’t think of this and really would like her to wear some white with it.
But, since it comes from the bust to the ground from the back there is only black so I don’t know what could be done maybe some white somwhere in the back but I don’t know how and don’t want to dommage her thoughts or make her feel like I’m taking over, what to do?
 
Black for a wedding dress? 😦 While I know that white is not required, going to the other end of the spectrum is a bit much. Black, while very fashionable (the little black dress that can go anywhere), does not seem to me to be appropriate for the bride. It might indicate that, rather than being happy to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony, she is in mourning!

The reaction of the guests might make this happiest of days not so happy.

I think she should re-think the matter and forget about the slimming effects of black - they’re not that good, anyway. If you’re fat, you’re fat and nothing will disguise it! (I know - I’m fat. I do not look slimmer in any color! 😛

But, what do I know, anyway?
 
Definitely tell her not to wear black.

There has been psychological research done that shows people perceive the colour black to be associated with mourning, evil, or aggression.

You do not want any one at your wedding to feel down due to the colour they are seeing the bride wearing.

I am overweight and have always found that colour does not help, but definitely a well designed dress does.

Find a really good dressmaker who will measure her, and shape her dress to hide some of her curves.

For example, a high waist can make overweight people look bigger, whereas a lower cut waist, maybe the bodice finishing on the hips, makes the womans top half seem longer, and takes emphasis off the curves.

Some fabrics can accentuate curves too, such as satin. As is it shiny, the light can show curves more, whereas a more matte material wont.

Also, tell your wife to be proud of who she is. She has managed to find someone who deeply cares for her regardless of her weight, and who wants to marry her before God and family and friends, and declare that he loves her.

I hope you both have a great day.
God bless
 
I don’t know if you will be able to steer her away from a black dress if she feels it flatters. However, I will say this, if you have a problem with the color others likely will too. It may be what people focus on, “black to a wedding”. It’s sort of petty but color is so symbolic that some may not get over it. She may have to be prepared to defend her choice to others.

On the other hand who cares what others think. In the grand scheme of things the wedding is a day, a marriage is for life. I also have considered the cost. Buying another gown may not be financially smart (a wedding is a day but paying for it…j/k).

Putting myself in her shoes, seeing some of the dresses for women with curves or dresses that are homemade they were not what I would want to spend day where everyone would be looking at (scrutinizing) and photographing me. I would want to look my best. One looked cheap, another looked “bunchy”…black looks good from this vantage point.

Sorry for the disjointed thoughts. I guess I’m saying I understand where both of you are coming from.
 
hey a wedding is only one day of your marriage. Worry more about the marriage, not the dress! May God Bless you!

Hope you are inviting Jesus to the wedding!
 
stbruno said:
hey a wedding is only one day of your marriage. Worry more about the marriage, not the dress! May God Bless you!

Hope you are inviting Jesus to the wedding!
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God bless you and your thoughts.
Jesus is the ceremony we enter into. He brought us together; He has blessed us thus far in many ways. If I could I would post a photo in the forums but I don’t know how or if it is possible.
Why I question the choice of color is because in this day and age I see so many people wearing black to go against Jesus.
But I’m not perturbed now so God bless. It is what it is.
God bless, this saturday is the day.
 
stbruno said:
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. Here’s my gift for your special day and the days that follow…a link to our dioceses’ e-newsletter for newly marrieds…Please check it out. It’s called First Years and Forever! Merry Christmas!

familyministries.org/FirstYearsForever/Vol.06/iss.04.htm
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I would like to thank you for your insite. Thank you all I believe that the wedding will go very in line with how Our Pressious Lord would intend it to, we are praying for guidance from the Holy Spirit and believe that God will bless our day.:bowdown bowdown2
Kia Ora Tatau ( thank you all) tiphat
Naku Noa (regards) :whacky
Nga Wayne and Eryne. :clapping

heaps of sunshine 👍 :cool:
No rain :tsktsk: :nope:
plenty of fun :rotfl: 😃 🤓 :dancing:
 
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