S
Shiann
Guest
La Chiara:
I competely agree with you. A wedding is not a time for the bride and groom to feel that they have to please every member of their family in order to ‘build bridges’. If I had my druthers- there would only be the couple and one attendent each! I think the additional members of the wedding party add additional stress (for planning and arranging) which ultimately pulls our attention further away from the reason why these two people are there to begin with!
I had my child out of wedlock - that is not virtuous. Did I make good decisions after the bad? Yup. Does that mean that people should look over the bad decision to begin with? Nope. It was my feelings of guilt and sadness, and the uncomfortable situations like this, which led me BACK to the Church- after I had lived for a time making unholy and bad decisions.
MelissaMarie- You need only to be in the church for your wedding day, prepared and resolute, in your mind, body and spirit, to offer yourself to your groom in Holy Matrimony for your life. You can mend fences with your sister outside of this.
There are often negative reprocussions for our bad decisions. You are not punishing her for being pregnant out of wedlock! You are making sure your Wedding Day has an appropriate sanctity to it. Now if you were having a groomsman who was a known and flagrant adulterer stand up for your husband- I would say the very same thing… Invite him to the wedding, enjoy his presence in the ‘audience’ but do not involve him in the religious ceremony.
I think you are making a valiant effort to include your sister in your day, and in your ceremony- without making the situation uncomfortable for you, your family and friends (outside of your sister), or the priest. She will hopefully realize that you love her very much- but that you do not support her lifestyle- nor do you want to make an example of it by including her in the religious ceremony per se.
I’m sure, like La Chiara, I will receive rebukes of uncharitable, and be relegated as old fashioned or out of touch. But if we agree that the big problems in this our society have a lot to do with the structure of the family, then why not start supporting family values at the earliest possible place? We need not coddle unwed pregnant sisters just because ‘she wants to be involved in the ceremony’, which, as her actions indicate, she obviously does not have a full communion with. Let’s support family values during dating, at the marriage ceremony, AND during the married life.
I competely agree with you. A wedding is not a time for the bride and groom to feel that they have to please every member of their family in order to ‘build bridges’. If I had my druthers- there would only be the couple and one attendent each! I think the additional members of the wedding party add additional stress (for planning and arranging) which ultimately pulls our attention further away from the reason why these two people are there to begin with!
I had my child out of wedlock - that is not virtuous. Did I make good decisions after the bad? Yup. Does that mean that people should look over the bad decision to begin with? Nope. It was my feelings of guilt and sadness, and the uncomfortable situations like this, which led me BACK to the Church- after I had lived for a time making unholy and bad decisions.
MelissaMarie- You need only to be in the church for your wedding day, prepared and resolute, in your mind, body and spirit, to offer yourself to your groom in Holy Matrimony for your life. You can mend fences with your sister outside of this.
There are often negative reprocussions for our bad decisions. You are not punishing her for being pregnant out of wedlock! You are making sure your Wedding Day has an appropriate sanctity to it. Now if you were having a groomsman who was a known and flagrant adulterer stand up for your husband- I would say the very same thing… Invite him to the wedding, enjoy his presence in the ‘audience’ but do not involve him in the religious ceremony.
I think you are making a valiant effort to include your sister in your day, and in your ceremony- without making the situation uncomfortable for you, your family and friends (outside of your sister), or the priest. She will hopefully realize that you love her very much- but that you do not support her lifestyle- nor do you want to make an example of it by including her in the religious ceremony per se.
I’m sure, like La Chiara, I will receive rebukes of uncharitable, and be relegated as old fashioned or out of touch. But if we agree that the big problems in this our society have a lot to do with the structure of the family, then why not start supporting family values at the earliest possible place? We need not coddle unwed pregnant sisters just because ‘she wants to be involved in the ceremony’, which, as her actions indicate, she obviously does not have a full communion with. Let’s support family values during dating, at the marriage ceremony, AND during the married life.
