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Princess18
Guest
We’re in the deep South. The “little bride dress” is quite the to-do around here. That aspect will not be going away any time soon, I’m afraid.
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OutinChgoburbs
Guest
We have had them in the midwestern United States for at least a century. As I stated, when Vatican II entailed what people interpretted it to be, they tried in my childhood parish to get everybody to use rented robes. This was most likely because there was a big article in Jubilee magazine about it.
The first two years, starting in 1965, the robes were ugly, capey affairs. Ten girls still wore white dresses under them instead of slips. The next year, more like 30 girls wore dresses under their robes. The third year, they switched to sort of child-sized dolmations, with big liturgical symbols and gold racing stripes. Every girl in years 3 and 4 wore not only a white dress, but got their veil anyplace else but school, as the veils offered at school were nothing more than clear headbands with apiece of netting.
By 1970, the robes were gone. I have not seen a robe, or colored clothes, since for a First Communion…
Although my daughter Daisy wants a veil with a crown, and wreath of flowers, and a headband, and lots of lace…
The first two years, starting in 1965, the robes were ugly, capey affairs. Ten girls still wore white dresses under them instead of slips. The next year, more like 30 girls wore dresses under their robes. The third year, they switched to sort of child-sized dolmations, with big liturgical symbols and gold racing stripes. Every girl in years 3 and 4 wore not only a white dress, but got their veil anyplace else but school, as the veils offered at school were nothing more than clear headbands with apiece of netting.
By 1970, the robes were gone. I have not seen a robe, or colored clothes, since for a First Communion…
Although my daughter Daisy wants a veil with a crown, and wreath of flowers, and a headband, and lots of lace…
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lizaanne
Guest
Last year at our parish the FHC children wore their outfits again on the Feast of the Assumption, which was closely after Easter last year if I recall. I thought it was lovely to see them all in their outfits again. Mass was outside at the Grotto, and the children got to receive first that day. It was really very nice.
And - as far as them wearing their veils again, I see no problem with that at all. I cover my head at every Mass, don’t see why there would be any problems with them covering their heads at all.
~Liza
And - as far as them wearing their veils again, I see no problem with that at all. I cover my head at every Mass, don’t see why there would be any problems with them covering their heads at all.
~Liza
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benedictgal
Guest
I think you mean the Feast of the Ascension, since that feast is 40 days after Easter, while the Assumption of the BVM is at least four months after Easter.Last year at our parish the FHC children wore their outfits again on the Feast of the Assumption, which was closely after Easter last year if I recall. I thought it was lovely to see them all in their outfits again. Mass was outside at the Grotto, and the children got to receive first that day. It was really very nice.
And - as far as them wearing their veils again, I see no problem with that at all. I cover my head at every Mass, don’t see why there would be any problems with them covering their heads at all.
~Liza
Now, in his book, Seek that Which is Above, Pope Benedict XVI notes that during the Solemnity of Corpus Christi, the First Communicants (who had received First Holy Communion during the Easter season) wore their white outfits (dresses and suits) during the Procession of the Blessed Sacrament. In fact, this is what the children did this year (and every year Benedict has been Pope). They precede the Blessed Sacrament, throwing flowers (much like what the flower girl does for the bride).
Now, during Papal audiences, there is a special section for newlyweds. The newlyweds are presented to the Pope (the couples re in their wedding attire).
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lizaanne
Guest
Oh yes - you are so right! That is exactly what it was!
The children this year wore their outfits for Corpus Christi at our parish as well, I had forgotten about that.
~Liza
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EasterJoy
Guest
My boys very much liked to wear their First Communion clothes (black slacks, white button-up shirts, black dress shoes) to Mass, and did so until they grew out of them. I continued to wear my First Communion dress after my First Communion, too, although I wore a colored ribbon at the waist at weddings, in order to not seem to be competing with the wedding party. I don’t think I ever wore my veil again, though. My grandmother dyed her dress brown and wore it for some time afterward as her Sunday dress. She dyed it because married women didn’t wear white after their wedding day back then.
I have heard of brides wearing their dresses again shortly after the wedding, yes, but only when their dresses, though distinctively bridal-looking, were not orders of magnitude more elaborate than a Sunday dress usually would be or, sometimes, when there was a second reception, because of the remote location of the wedding itself. That is just the thing: many wedding dresses, and even some First Communion dresses, look far too elaborate when the wearer is not in fact the center of attention on the day the dress is being worn.
**My question is this: don’t kids make their First Communion at a Sunday Mass any more? **They do at our parish. The kids in the parish school wear their First Communion clothes at the next school Mass, though, since all of them make their First Communions at different Masses.
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benedictgal
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There might be some reasons by the kids don’t receive First Holy Communion during Sunday Mass. One of them, I think, would involve the fact that, especially in my neck of the woods, this is an event for the ENTIRE family. This means grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, along with parents and siblings. If your church is small, try to add that mix to the regular Sunday attendees and you’ll have over-crowding, as happened in my dad’s old parish when the bishop confirmed the kids. Not even standing room only was enough.
The other problem is that paparazzi that show up and have to position themselves to capture their child receiving First Holy Communion. Some parishes are very good at controlling this situation while others turn it into a free for all. This certainly does not have help to maintain the solemnity and dignity of the child’s first physical encounter with Our Lord.
So, these are the variables. True, you want the parish community to celebrate this important occasion with the child; however, you have to factor in other things.
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OutinChgoburbs
Guest
Not around here. There are simply too many kids and too many relatives, so most of the parishes around here have a special Mass on Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon.
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LilyM
Guest
It did kinda sound like you were saying ‘if brides don’t, then first communicants shouldn’t either’, such misunderstandings happen often with the internet where we don’t have the benefit of facial expression or tone of voice to judge by.
A few things occur to me - a) weddings are often announced in the Church bulletin, whereas with First Communions they don’t usually name the communicants. So the parish usually already knows they’re married.
b) many couples have a Nuptial Mass, so they DO wear their dresses to Mass and
c) most couples will be off on their honeymoons by the time they get to Mass on the Sunday. I know I wouldn’t turn up at a new parish where I was honeymooning wearing the bridal gown!
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EasterJoy
Guest
I see what you mean. Still, maybe they could spread it out over several Sundays, the way it is done for infant baptisms. (We also have a good number of those during Sunday Masses, although not all.)
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SeekerJen
Guest
Depends on the parish. Like I said earlier, our parish splits the kids up between the four big Sunday Masses so that their visiting families don’t totally crowd out regular parishoners. The parish where I grew up and made my own First Communion had a separate Mass on a Saturday afternoon for all of us.
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puzzleannie
Guest
but you have to be sure to flash them so everyone can see
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puzzleannie
Guest
omigolly don’t know how I could have forgotten this story. we got married late on Friday evening, my sister and maid of honor had not eaten all day, fainted on the altar (entirely taking focus off the matter at hand, which I remind her at every opportunity). Since reception was only going to be cake and punch, we went to fast-food drive thru, where I and several of the wedding party had worked. they called us to come inside, which we did, and got free burgers for everyone, including my famished sister. Dress was a rather simple affair, no veil, flowers only (this was the 60s) but still we were definitely bridal. Sis still has pix someplace of that event.
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Miserissima
Guest
Thank you, jmdsc: we now have a new tradition in my family from your wonderful idea – thanks again for sharing that! What a lovely idea for heirlooms!
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Sr_Sally
Guest
We have all our First Communions, Confirmations, and Baptisms outside of regular Sunday morning Masses. The Easter Vigil is usually PACKED and so are the special Masses. I can’t imagine trying to have the ordinary Sunday crowds there too. Plus think of the parking issues if you try to have a reception afterward! The priests and instructors though are very good about curbing the photos during Mass.
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Phemie
Guest
All our sacraments of initiation take place at Sunday Mass unless the Bishop must be there on a weekday for Confirmation – that’s only happened once in the past 8 years. Other than the ‘Family Mass’ on Christmas Eve, those are the only Masses that come anywhere close to seeing a ‘full house’
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Joe_5859
Guest
My wife didn’t do it the day after, but the day of. After the wedding and after the pictures (but before the reception), we went to the Saturday night Mass, still in our full wedding attire. We received a lot of comments from others in the parish that were very happy to see it. I think they were impressed that we didn’t skip our Sunday obligation.
I don’t see any problem with it (beyond the logistics of getting into the wedding dress twice
).
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Miserissima
Guest
I love this thread.
I noticed that where the white dress is still en vogue, the hems are a lot longer than the dresses we had. Everyone in my class had their hems a little above the knee - with a veil.
It still shocks me that people take pics inside of the church, during the service, and most especially during the Communion. The congregation was asked not to take pics during the Eucharist, especially, out of respect for Our Lord, and I thought it was that way everywhere.
I still love the idea of the veil.
When I was in school, we were given a pin for each sacrament we received. (still have mine on a ribbon). I was confirmed as an adult, and still received a pin from my sponsor. So when we went to have our marriage convalidated, I asked the priest, “Do we get pins?” He stammered, “Uh, no…but I can get you one.” I replied, “That’s all right, Father.”
Silly me! But I still went and bought a pin similar to the pic attached (mine is all silver metal, the pic attached in white inlay…it’s only a reference and not the actual pin I have).
I noticed that where the white dress is still en vogue, the hems are a lot longer than the dresses we had. Everyone in my class had their hems a little above the knee - with a veil.
It still shocks me that people take pics inside of the church, during the service, and most especially during the Communion. The congregation was asked not to take pics during the Eucharist, especially, out of respect for Our Lord, and I thought it was that way everywhere.
I still love the idea of the veil.
When I was in school, we were given a pin for each sacrament we received. (still have mine on a ribbon). I was confirmed as an adult, and still received a pin from my sponsor. So when we went to have our marriage convalidated, I asked the priest, “Do we get pins?” He stammered, “Uh, no…but I can get you one.” I replied, “That’s all right, Father.”
Silly me! But I still went and bought a pin similar to the pic attached (mine is all silver metal, the pic attached in white inlay…it’s only a reference and not the actual pin I have).
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Peace-bwu
Guest
The dress isn’t holy or blessed or required to be worn only once. I see no violation with this. It’s our culture that has made the dresses worn during the sacraments so important and expensive and elaborate… After all, some people in our culture put more importance on the wedding dress than their vows, and unfortunately, some parents have their kids receive their first communion just because they want to dress them up.
Anyway, I know it probably seems a little unusual, but it’s not any kind of violation.
Anyway, I know it probably seems a little unusual, but it’s not any kind of violation.
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dixieagle
Guest
Very interesting thread!
Our daughter was married June 7, and she and hew hubby were not heading out until early Monday morning for their honeymoon. As there were many family members in town we see only rarely (we’re in the deep South and family is mainly in New England and Indiana) the couple decided they wanted to meet us all for Mass Sunday morning before coming to our home for a cookout. Though they weren’t in bridal attire, the pastor was alerted to the fact they were there (the reception had been in our lovely parish banquet hall) and pointed them out, calling them up in front of everyone at the end of Mass. He pointed out how they had wanted to meet family for Mass rather than rush right out of town; everyone seemed to think it was lovely of them.
I think dd would have felt a little odd wearing her wedding gown, as much as she loved it. I have often seen little First Communicants wearing their dresses/suits the following week - very sweet.
Our daughter was married June 7, and she and hew hubby were not heading out until early Monday morning for their honeymoon. As there were many family members in town we see only rarely (we’re in the deep South and family is mainly in New England and Indiana) the couple decided they wanted to meet us all for Mass Sunday morning before coming to our home for a cookout. Though they weren’t in bridal attire, the pastor was alerted to the fact they were there (the reception had been in our lovely parish banquet hall) and pointed them out, calling them up in front of everyone at the end of Mass. He pointed out how they had wanted to meet family for Mass rather than rush right out of town; everyone seemed to think it was lovely of them.
I think dd would have felt a little odd wearing her wedding gown, as much as she loved it. I have often seen little First Communicants wearing their dresses/suits the following week - very sweet.
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