Wedding Mass

[hazmae]

I just read the Q & A Can children be banned from Mass. I always thought that if a couple chooses to have a Mass that it is open to the public. Granted few people would go to a wedding Mass if they didn’t know the people. Just wondering if this is true. It’s what our Priest told us when we had a wedding Mass over 35 years ago.
Anyone know?

 

[puzzleannie]

true, there is no such thing as a private Mass, even for a funeral. Yes, they can invite whoever they want to the reception, however, but they can’t close off a Catholic Church. There fee for use of the church does not include that privilege

 

[Catholicben]

Yep. See above.

 

[hazmae]

Thanks
Not that I plan on crashing weddings and funerals. lol

 

[Joe_Kelley]

Many years back, in my student days, I occasionally missed the regular morning mass and went to a funeral, don’t think I ever went to a wedding. I just stayed well back so as not to breakup any family groupings and was as unobtrusive as possible. However, this was pre-VII. I was usually the only one to go up for Communion. I never encountered any problems or resentment.

 

[hazmae]

Many years back, in my student days, I occasionally missed the regular morning mass and went to a funeral, don’t think I ever went to a wedding. I just stayed well back so as not to breakup any family groupings and was as unobtrusive as possible. However, this was pre-VII. I was usually the only one to go up for Communion. I never encountered any problems or resentment.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it if it was my family’s funeral OR wedding. Knowing that having a Mass is an open invite to any Catholic. Like you, I wouldn’t make it a point to choose one but if I needed to I would go.

Gods Peace

 

[crazzeto]

I just read the Q & A Can children be banned from Mass. I always thought that if a couple chooses to have a Mass that it is open to the public. Granted few people would go to a wedding Mass if they didn’t know the people. Just wondering if this is true. It’s what our Priest told us when we had a wedding Mass over 35 years ago.
Anyone know?

In a strict sense what you post is true and this is the reason why my sister was denied her request for the Church doors to be closed before she enter the Church, so she can have the “big reveal”. That really upset her too, she was going on about “who does that priest think shows up at his masses anyway”… I off hand mentioned it was really we who were in his debt for being a priest and offering the mass for us, but that didn’t go over well

Anyway, while it’s strictly true that anyone can show up at your wedding mass and participate, it’s socially unacceptable. Thus if you want to request no childeren at your wedding do so, and your guests (socially) will be obligated to comply. That said, my fiance and I want kids at our wedding

 

[Phemie]

In a strict sense what you post is true and this is the reason why my sister was denied her request for the Church doors to be closed before she enter the Church, so she can have the “big reveal”. That really upset her too, she was going on about “who does that priest think shows up at his masses anyway”… I off hand mentioned it was really we who were in his debt for being a priest and offering the mass for us, but that didn’t go over well

Anyway, while it’s strictly true that anyone can show up at your wedding mass and participate, it’s socially unacceptable. Thus if you want to request no childeren at your wedding do so, and your guests (socially) will be obligated to comply. That said, my fiance and I want kids at our wedding

It’s not socially unacceptable to go to a wedding Mass to which you are not invited. Mass is a public event open to the community. While you are well within your rights to request that no children be brought to the reception, heck if you wanted them there the invitation would have been to Mr & Mrs & Family, you can’t really keep them away from Mass.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

I just read the Q & A Can children be banned from Mass. I always thought that if a couple chooses to have a Mass that it is open to the public. Granted few people would go to a wedding Mass if they didn’t know the people. Just wondering if this is true. It’s what our Priest told us when we had a wedding Mass over 35 years ago.
Anyone know?

I agree with the other posters that a Mass is always public.

That said, are you sure that the question was about children attending the Mass,
and not participating in the Mass (i.e Flower Girl, Ring Bearer)?

I have heard of cases where it is ***strongly discouraged ***for the bridal couple to have very young children (usually under 5) in the wedding party.

I believe (at least based on what happens in my diocese) that there is a very big push to put the sacrament back into the wedding, instead of making it a big*** “show”. ***And while having little ones all dressed up is *“cute”, * it is not necessarily appropriate.

Just my :twocents:

 

[Phemie]

I agree with the other posters that a Mass is always public.

That said, are you sure that the question was about children attending the Mass,
and not participating in the Mass (i.e Flower Girl, Ring Bearer)?

I have heard of cases where it is ***strongly discouraged ***for the bridal couple to have very young children (usually under 5) in the wedding party.

I believe (at least based on what happens in my diocese) that there is a very big push to put the sacrament back into the wedding, instead of making it a big*** “show”. ***And while having little ones all dressed up is *“cute”, * it is not necessarily appropriate.

Just my :twocents:

The OP’s question was triggered by a question in the AAA forum where someone asked about the validity of adding “No children please” to a wedding invitation.

 

[crazzeto]

The OP’s question was triggered by a question in the AAA forum where someone asked about the validity of adding “No children please” to a wedding invitation.

It is socially acceptable, though you can’t stop someone from bringing in the childeren if they ignore you (which would be socially unacceptable if they’re just ignoring you for no good reason).

 

[Phemie]

It is socially acceptable, though you can’t stop someone from bringing in the childeren if they ignore you (which would be socially unacceptable if they’re just ignoring you for no good reason).

As a child I remember attending the Nuptial Mass of several cousins. It was well understood that while we were not invited to the reception we were more than welcome to attend the Mass with Mom & Dad. Even my own wedding ceremony, which was not a Mass, was attended by many people who had not received invitations. That’s just the way it is in a village.

 

[agapewolf]

In a strict sense what you post is true and this is the reason why my sister was denied her request for the Church doors to be closed before she enter the Church, so she can have the “big reveal”. That really upset her too, she was going on about “who does that priest think shows up at his masses anyway”… I off hand mentioned it was really we who were in his debt for being a priest and offering the mass for us, but that didn’t go over well

Anyway, while it’s strictly true that anyone can show up at your wedding mass and participate, it’s socially unacceptable. Thus if you want to request no childeren at your wedding do so, and your guests (socially) will be obligated to comply. That said, my fiance and I want kids at our wedding

I doubt this is why your sister couldn’t get the door closed. We dont’ allow that at my church because it isn’t the best choice liturgically. Its one long liturgical procession of those involved in the mass. You don’t close the doors between every person in a Sunday mass, either. It chops it up, and makes no sense.

It is not socially unacceptable, in fact, it is encouraged in the Catholic church as the representation of the community is part of the idea of having it at the church.

 

[PatriceA]

As a child I remember attending the Nuptial Mass of several cousins. It was well understood that while we were not invited to the reception we were more than welcome to attend the Mass with Mom & Dad. Even my own wedding ceremony, which was not a Mass, was attended by many people who had not received invitations. That’s just the way it is in a village.

I’ve seen a few wedding invitations worded just like you experienced as a child, that the reception was “adults only”. There was a distinction on the actual invite between the mass and the reception.