Wedding night consumation out for 2 days? NFP help?

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RCRanger03

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Hello Catholic Answers forums,

My fiancee and I are getting married this Saturday and we’ve learned and are trying to practice the Symptothermal method (although mostly in a “dry run” capacity as we’re both virigns and waiting until marriage. We’ve agreed that we want to be conservative with our NFP decisions for the first few months of being married, until we get better at it. However after 2 months of pretty standard charts this month’s is confusing the heck out of me.

I was hoping someone here could confirm what we think is happening/what to do going forward if waiting for Phase 3 to have sex for the first time. You would really help us feel more comfortable about our decisions over the next week 🙂 I’ve included our in progress chart (my fiancee and I don’t live together so shes been sending me her information in the morning and at night and we chart separately and come together with our interpretations and redo one together with the book to see how we did. I thinks she better haha, but I’m getting there)

Here is our chart (the picture embed didn’t work?)
oi60.tinypic.com/4hbolw.jpg

Here’s what I see:
  • A false peak day due to stress on 3/7 day 19 of her cycle.
  • Peak day probably being on 3/10 day 22, but we’ll know for sure tomorrow.
  • We’re AT LEAST 3 temps higher than 97.7 before Phase III could begin (3/16)
  • 3/16 would have to be at least 98.1 to be sure of phase 3, if not (3/17)
  • Our luteal phase is going to be really really short? As in if her cycle is only 28 days again, it would be non existent?
Are these observations correct, are they premature, overly conservative?

Thank you for any and all comments and suggestions!

Cheers,

Matt
 
I first started studying NFP in September 2012. I tried the sympo method at first but I found it to be the most confusing thing ever. I switched to the billings ovulation method. My husband and I found it to be much easier to follow and much more effective. If you don’t have someone who can coach you through the sympo method I wouldn’t recommend it. If you do decide to switch to billings, if you can find a coach through your local archdiocese, I would still recommend it. Makes a big difference when you have someone going through it with you thoroughly.
 
RCRanger03 said:
Hello Catholic Answers forums,

My fiancee and I are getting married this Saturday and we’ve learned and are trying to practice the Symptothermal method (although mostly in a “dry run” capacity as we’re both virigns and waiting until marriage. We’ve agreed that we want to be conservative with our NFP decisions for the first few months of being married, until we get better at it. However after 2 months of pretty standard charts this month’s is confusing the heck out of me.

I was hoping someone here could confirm what we think is happening/what to do going forward if waiting for Phase 3 to have sex for the first time. You would really help us feel more comfortable about our decisions over the next week 🙂 I’ve included our in progress chart (my fiancee and I don’t live together so shes been sending me her information in the morning and at night and we chart separately and come together with our interpretations and redo one together with the book to see how we did. I thinks she better haha, but I’m getting there)

Here is our chart (the picture embed didn’t work?)
oi60.tinypic.com/4hbolw.jpg

Here’s what I see:
  • A false peak day due to stress on 3/7 day 19 of her cycle.
  • Peak day probably being on 3/10 day 22, but we’ll know for sure tomorrow.
  • We’re AT LEAST 3 temps higher than 97.7 before Phase III could begin (3/16)
  • 3/16 would have to be at least 98.1 to be sure of phase 3, if not (3/17)
  • Our luteal phase is going to be really really short? As in if her cycle is only 28 days again, it would be non existent?
Are these observations correct, are they premature, overly conservative?

Thank you for any and all comments and suggestions!

Cheers,

Matt
Click to expand...
Call your Diocesan Family Life offices. They probably have someone that can work with you on methods. There are always classes and “seasoned” couples that make themselves available to young marrieds and their questions. God bless you for placing Christ in your marriage.
Peace.
 
We’re Billings folk too so no help with all that data. But I did want to commiserate with you on the potential wedding night fertility. Been there, survived. Seems HUGE at the time, vanishes into obscurity a few months afterwards - like most things we get anxious over. You have your whole lives ahead of you.

I WILL give you one unsolicited bit of advice all faithful catholics who have waited for their wedding night should hear from someone and rarely do: Get some NON-spermicidal lubricant for the first few times (at least). KY jelly or Astroglide (how cheesy is that name!). There are even glycerin free versions available online if she has trouble with yeast issues or UTIs. Things will go, ahem, more smoothly and she’ll be grateful. Wish somebody had told me! 🙂
 
manualman said:
We’re Billings folk too so no help with all that data. But I did want to commiserate with you on the potential wedding night fertility. Been there, survived. Seems HUGE at the time, vanishes into obscurity a few months afterwards - like most things we get anxious over. You have your whole lives ahead of you.

I WILL give you one unsolicited bit of advice all faithful catholics who have waited for their wedding night should hear from someone and rarely do: Get some NON-spermicidal lubricant for the first few times (at least). KY jelly or Astroglide (how cheesy is that name!). There are even glycerin free versions available online if she has trouble with yeast issues or UTIs. Things will go, ahem, more smoothly and she’ll be grateful. Wish somebody had told me! 🙂
Click to expand...
An old-fashioned version of this is extra virgin olive oil or coconut oil. Both have a nice mild scent, and do not evaporate as quickly as the lubricants do. Some women have irritation from lubricants, but not from quality oils like the two I mentioned. A burning sensation while attempting to be intimate with one’s spouse can really dampen desire. The bride-to-be can test the oil and lubricant on her intimate area before the wedding day if the couple want to be sure they will have the one they need. It can really reduce discomfort for women, in preparation for intercourse.
 
RCRanger03 said:
Hello Catholic Answers forums,

My fiancee and I are getting married this Saturday and we’ve learned and are trying to practice the Symptothermal method (although mostly in a “dry run” capacity as we’re both virigns and waiting until marriage. We’ve agreed that we want to be conservative with our NFP decisions for the first few months of being married, until we get better at it. However after 2 months of pretty standard charts this month’s is confusing the heck out of me.

I was hoping someone here could confirm what we think is happening/what to do going forward if waiting for Phase 3 to have sex for the first time. You would really help us feel more comfortable about our decisions over the next week 🙂 I’ve included our in progress chart (my fiancee and I don’t live together so shes been sending me her information in the morning and at night and we chart separately and come together with our interpretations and redo one together with the book to see how we did. I thinks she better haha, but I’m getting there)

Here is our chart (the picture embed didn’t work?)
oi60.tinypic.com/4hbolw.jpg

Here’s what I see:
  • A false peak day due to stress on 3/7 day 19 of her cycle.
  • Peak day probably being on 3/10 day 22, but we’ll know for sure tomorrow.
  • We’re AT LEAST 3 temps higher than 97.7 before Phase III could begin (3/16)
  • 3/16 would have to be at least 98.1 to be sure of phase 3, if not (3/17)
  • Our luteal phase is going to be really really short? As in if her cycle is only 28 days again, it would be non existent?
Are these observations correct, are they premature, overly conservative?

Thank you for any and all comments and suggestions!

Cheers,

Matt
Click to expand...
If you are using the STM method of NFP, does that mean you took a CCL course? If so, you should ask your teaching couple to look at her chart. I have used the symptothermal method, too, but I would never feel comfortable interpreting someone else’s chart. There may be some here at CAF who have training to help, though.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I hope you have a beautiful day and a wonderful honeymoon.
 
mommamaree said:
irritation from lubricantsQUOTE]

The glycerin-free versions addressed this in our experience. Mayhaps I’m too much the city boy, but antiseptically packaged products appealed to us a bit more than raiding the food pantry… 😉
Click to expand...
 
Just a note on the last item, the luteal phase is pretty set. She probably will not have a 28 day cycle. The length of the cycle is determined by ovulation, not by a set length. If you have a 14 day luteal phase, in order to have a 28 day cycle you have to ovulate on day 14. If you ovulate on day 16, it will be a 30 day cycle. On day 12, a 26 day cycle. Give or take, of course.

I have never done STM, I am currently enrolling in a Billings course though. We’ve been using the Marquette method and it’s just not for us. Billings seems like it will fit us much better.
 
misspriss said:
Just a note on the last item, the luteal phase is pretty set. She probably will not have a 28 day cycle. The length of the cycle is determined by ovulation, not by a set length. If you have a 14 day luteal phase, in order to have a 28 day cycle you have to ovulate on day 14. If you ovulate on day 16, it will be a 30 day cycle. On day 12, a 26 day cycle. Give or take, of course.

I have never done STM, I am currently enrolling in a Billings course though. We’ve been using the Marquette method and it’s just not for us. Billings seems like it will fit us much better.
Click to expand...
I agree. Looks like a longer than normal cycle to me, which makes sense considering the stress of wedding planning! Also, I’d strongly advise buying a copy of TCOYF and using that programme to chart. I find it to be the most user friendly charting system out there. Does she always have 28 day cycles?
 
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