Wedding Night

[John21652]

I completely understand. I’m not comfortable with Victoria’s Secret either and my husband doesn’t even care for it either. I ended up finding a nice long white nightgown for our wedding night at Nordstrom. It was nice and was something I felt I could wear without feeling uncomfortable. Funny thing is, his favorite outfit is a pajama set that I got at Target! It not even what I’d consider immodest, but a bit nicer than pajamas I used to wear.

I have one thing to say about nerviousness about what his reaction will be when he sees you. That anxiety builds up to great bliss when he reassures you of how beautiful he finds you, or not even that but just his involuntary reaction. My husband’s first reaction to me just …wow. It made me feel so beautiful in ways I have never felt beautiful before. The anxiety about being possibly a disappointment makes for a great build up. I don’t think it would have had the same effect had I been completely confident or expected him to have the reaction he had. It made it all the more special.

That said, do also realize that your wedding night is the first of many, many times. Its like the first day a kid gets on a bicycle. Marital intimacy isn’t just about that first night, its about your entire lifetime, and where-ever you begin on that journey, God will be there with you.

It is important to talk about your fears and expectations before you marry, but I think to some extent everyone goes into their wedding night with some anxiety if they’ve waited. I promise you’ll be ok and I say this as a woman who was not physically able to consumate her marriage for the first two months of her marriage. My condition is very rare and deals with sexual trauma from my childhood. God has been so much there for us and I still do not regret waiting for marriage. I’m not angry at God for allowing me to develop this condition, I rather rejoice that we were able to overcome it and that we now have such a wonderful and special way to express our love. Moreover, in overcoming this God performed so much healing in me. There is nothing God can’t do and no trial God will give you that He won’t give you the grace to endure.

You’ll be ok.

Very lovely post indeed. In total contrast to the one from the sixteen yr. old. Not hard to guess where here knowledge came from and I’d like her to know that, from a man’s perspective, her information is wrong and what she suggests is not required by normal, loving men in a marriage who love and respect their wives.

 

[Samantha79]

No I thought it was disturbing as well, but kept my mouth shut.

I’m praying that Blue Shadow will not have online tantrum when she reads my comment, but instead, carefully and prayerfully consider how it comes across to have a teenager commenting on here about those things.

 

[John21652]

I’m praying that Blue Shadow will not have online tantrum when she reads my comment, but instead, carefully and prayerfully consider how it comes across to have a teenager commenting on here about those things.

Actually, the problem is not so much that a teenager comes here and makes such comments, but is really that teenagers think what they read in magazines, see on TV and the Internet is “normal”. Kinky is not normal. The very word suggests other than normal. Yet this teenager has no qualms about suggesting some kinkiness. Let me asure our young friend that “normal” men would not be seen dead in the magazines and on the Internet and those other places from which she gleans her info. Gee whiz, ‘normal’ is more than exciting enough for most men in this world, believe me! Anyway, it is a good thing if a teenager can come onto a forum such as this and learn that the knowledge gleaned from the glossy magazines and from the Internet is not the norm, that there is something better, higher in its goodness and excitement and truly respecting of another person.

Which leads me to another issue. Most of the posts here are about women being nervous on their wedding knight. What about us blokes?! Brand new husbands get nervous too, I’ll have you know. And they get nervous about a few things that women don’t get nervous about, so, on top of the advice that everyone has so kindly given, I’d advise the OP to talk to her future husband asap. I bet he’s nervous too!