Wedding or Vacation?

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Lorelei12

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This is by no means a serious problem, but I’m just looking for opinions on what the right thing to do is. My husband and I have planned a vacation- already booked and deposit paid, airline tickets also paid for.

I just found out that a relative’s wedding is the day we are leaving. I am not very close to this particular relative, but she did attend our wedding. We never received save the dates or anything (it’s only a couple of months away), so I had no idea.

Technically we could try to re-book the flight and cancel a night of the hotel room, but would incur some fees I’d rather not have to pay. Truthfully, I’d also rather not lose out on a day of our vacation, either…we both have extremely limited vacation time and are really looking forward to it. I’d like to decline the invitation, but it feels selfish to do so, since it’s just one day. I wouldn’t think twice about it if it were a close relative or friend, but I barely know this person, even though she is family. What would you do?
 
No problem for me. I made plans and it would cost me to change them. And for someone I am not close to you nor did send a “send the date” card?

Have a good vacation.

We are having a family wedding at the end of August. For many cousins and other relatives school has already started and they are NOT taking their kids out of school to travel long distance for a wedding. Other people already have vacation plans. Too bad.

Remember, an invitation is just that, an invitation. It is not a command performance or subpoena. It means you have every right to say no and not feel guilty about it.

Again, send your regrets, go on vacation, and don’t give it a second thought.
 
coachdennis said:
No problem for me. I made plans and it would cost me to change them. And for someone I am not close to you nor did send a “send the date” card?

Have a good vacation.

We are having a family wedding at the end of August. For many cousins and other relatives school has already started and they are NOT taking their kids out of school to travel long distance for a wedding. Other people already have vacation plans. Too bad.

Remember, an invitation is just that, an invitation. It is not a command performance or subpoena. It means you have every right to say no and not feel guilty about it.

Again, send your regrets, go on vacation, and don’t give it a second thought.
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👍
This
 
No problem for me. I made plans and it would cost me to change them. And for someone I am not close to you nor did send a “send the date” card?
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Have a good vacation.
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We are having a family wedding at the end of August. For many cousins and other relatives school has already started and they are NOT taking their kids out of school to travel long distance for a wedding. Other people already have vacation plans. Too bad.
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Remember, an invitation is just that, an invitation. It is not a command performance or subpoena. It means you have every right to say no and not feel guilty about it.
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Again, send your regrets, go on vacation, and don’t give it a second thought.
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Ditto. 👍
You also didn’t mention how your husband feels about it. I’d be a lot more concerned with his opinion than anyone else’s. 😉
 
I agree with the others. Send a card and your regrets. If they didn’t send out invitations in a timely manner, that is not your fault. Go, have fun and be refreshed.
 
CatholicRaven said:
Ditto. 👍
You also didn’t mention how your husband feels about it. I’d be a lot more concerned with his opinion than anyone else’s. 😉
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He said he doesn’t really care, but I think he’d prefer to keep our vacation plans. I know he’d be fine with changing our plans if I really wanted to go, though.

Thanks for all the replies. It does make me feel a little better about declining!
 
is her wedding a Church wedding,in that i mean a sacramental wedding .was yours ? if yes to to both weddings ,i’d say go.as Christens we are called to witness.and with the declining numbers of Catholics wedding in the Church, aren’t we called to support Holy Matrimony ? last year i went to three funerals of people who with exception of one ,i had never even met.and the one i had met was not for more than 20-30 minutes.🤷
 
Vacation. Send a thoughtful gift and a nice note. Have a good time 🙂
 
Go on vacation, but send a nice card with your regrets and the promise to pray for her and her groom at the time of their wedding. Send a nice gift if you like (maybe pay for a couple massage if they are going to somewhere for their honeymoon that offers that service).
 
I vote for vacation.

You’ve already planned it and paid for it. There seemed to be a mix up with the save-the-date send outs.
Take that as your cue to head out on your vacation.

Send your regrets and a nice wedding gift.

Have a good time! 🙂
 
Vacation.

Although we are called to witness, we are not called to witness every wedding nor every funeral.
 
Lorelei12 said:
I wouldn’t think twice about it if it were a close relative or friend, but I barely know this person, even though she is family. What would you do?
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If you don’t go - will you regret it later? If you’re sure you won’t, go ahead and enjoy the vacation. If you have any doubts - I’d go to the wedding.

My thinking - even though I might not have a particularly close relationship to the relative - they are still family. And in this day and age, it seems the times when extended families get together is getting rarer and rarer, and weddings seem to be one of those times when they actually do. I’ve missed a few weddings over the years and now that I’m older I look back and wish I had attended them. It still hurts a twinge when I think of the family members who missed my wedding (though I certainly don’t hold a grudge, nor have I ever let them know).

Only the OP knows the full situation - maybe the family gets together on other occasions. Maybe the relative is so distantly related that it doesn’t matter. 🤷
I do agree that either decision is perfectly fine. But just wanted to share my point of view.
 
I would probably go to the wedding personally, especially if other members of my family that I was close to were going. I really like weddings though. There’s certainly nothing wrong if you don’t go. Just send your regrets and a gift. You’ve already made plans.
 
As you only found out about this wedding after vacation plans and payments were made, and as the person isn’t close to you, it would be a no-brainer for me: vacation.

Were this a close relative, you’d likely have known about the wedding date far earlier. With the limited time off you and your husband have, I think that it’s important to have that time to relax and re-connect with each other.

You can send a card and - if you feel so inclined - a wedding gift, with a note expressing regret that you had long-standing plans and had to be out of town. No second thoughts about it.
 
CradleJourney said:
If you don’t go - will you regret it later? If you’re sure you won’t, go ahead and enjoy the vacation. If you have any doubts - I’d go to the wedding.

My thinking - even though I might not have a particularly close relationship to the relative - they are still family. And in this day and age, it seems the times when extended families get together is getting rarer and rarer, and weddings seem to be one of those times when they actually do. I’ve missed a few weddings over the years and now that I’m older I look back and wish I had attended them. It still hurts a twinge when I think of the family members who missed my wedding (though I certainly don’t hold a grudge, nor have I ever let them know).

Only the OP knows the full situation - maybe the family gets together on other occasions. Maybe the relative is so distantly related that it doesn’t matter. 🤷
I do agree that either decision is perfectly fine. But just wanted to share my point of view.
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This is how I would feel about it. I would at least do some investigating as to how much it would actually cost and how much time would be lost from the vacation if I decided to attend the wedding.

Do you live in the area in which the wedding will be held? Even if you are not close to this relative now, you might become close once you are in the same stage of life as they are.
 
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