Wedding potluck?

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A friend just held a “pot-luck” dinner for her son’s wedding (new daughter-in-law has no family ties) but it was done in such a way that to the average guest, it looked catered. She recruited a core group of about 8 friends to do the cooking (ones that she knew could cook well!) and the serving. This way, lots of money was saved, but they had the sit-down dinner they wanted. In no way is the cooking a job the bride should do herself! Way too much stress!

Having said that, though, in my neck of the woods, it is considered perfectly acceptable and normal to have just a cake and punch reception. That’s what we had for our reception, as cost was a factor.

I agree with above comments, it is not a good idea to go into debt for a wedding, so keep within your means. It is possible to do so tastefully. My:twocents:

Brenda M.
 
I also agree that a pot luck is difficult on out-of town guests, and an imposition for some - problematic on keeping food hot or properly chilled - and what if you get 20 bags of tortilla chips?

I think some of the posts have given you fabulous ideas! The cake and coffee reception, punch and cheese options, deli platters and veggie dip with fruit etc.

How about this for a staggette party? Getting the ladies together and baking, or cooking for the wedding. I have gotten together with my friends to cook and we HAVE A BALL laughing and cooking.

If your dad is stressed and embarrassed on your wedding day, you will be uncomfortable all day as well. Not the best way to start your new life.

Besides, everyone you invite knows you are both young and need to keep things simple. It will be no surprise to your loved ones.

I will pray your day is beautiful and God blessed.
 
I liked Princess Abby’s ideas, and BrendaM had a great idea as well.

My parents have a bed and breakfast in our area and they do small weddings/receptions. I assist them with the planning and delivery of them and just helped them with a small wedding around 60 people that was held in the “evening” after the supper hour. We had a fresh fruit salad, many different types of bread (rolls, small cocktail breads, croissants, sliced baguettes), and a nice sliced meat tray- my dad made the wedding cake. This could ALL be done yourself- but if you would like the time off, recruiting some good friends (6-8) to do the busy work would be better IMHO than to ask that everyone bring a dish.

If you would like some assistance in organizing something like this, PM me. It really can be beautiful!

Shiann
 
I vote against the potluck unless it’s a small family dinner reception. If you’re having a larger reception and/or out of town guests, have champagne and cake and maybe some nibbles that you and friends can put together, or as someone else suggested, go to a place like Sam’s Club or Gordon Food Service for bulk amounts of party foods. Honestly, I’ve been to enough weddings out of town recently to know that just getting to the wedding, paying for the hotel, taking time off of work, etc. is enough. Trying to also figure out how to help cater the reception would have been enough to convince me not to bother.

Oh- I just read Princess Abby’s post. She has a ton of great ideas. And I second the suggestion of getting married during the Christmas or Easter season. DH and I were married a few weeks after Easter and hardly had to purchase any flowers because the church was still decorated.
 
Let me throw some cold water on this idea. I would not attend, I don’t relish the idea of eating food from God only knows where. How do you know what people would bring? You may end up whit a lot of cake and pie and no meat. If money is a problem just serve pop, beer and chips. Play CD’s for the music, be gracious and enjoy yourselves.
 
If I were to get married tomorrow, my family and friends are a close, fun, easy going lot… and a pot luck or BBQ/cookout reception would be the order of the day! I’ve been to the several thousand dollar receptions, they do not impress me.

Take the wedding books and use them to light the bonfire! You know your friends and family, you sound like a very practical young lady - not one inviting hoards of people.

One of the best wedding recpetions I ever attended was a family who had located here from Mexico. The Bride and her mom and family did all of the cooking, there were about 100 people there, and it was a beautiful, warm family occasion.

Good luck!
 
shiann!!! are you from kansas? is your mom named janie? i swear i have seen that picture before. it looks just like the one MY caterer showed me for MY wedding…we had 130 people at my wedding (in Olathe, KS) and she did something similar…very strange if that is her, but maybe i’m just being crazy! 🙂
 
I live in a small southern town. It’s quite commen for the reception to be potluck, or bbq, at least with the just plain ol commen folk. 😛

Usually, the bride changes right after the wedding/photo ops,
then its kinda like a picnic after that. Layed back and stress free.

One reception even roasted a whole pig and half a steer, but that was in keeping with the “western” theme of the wedding. Personally, the food was great, but not my style.

For me personally, I would prefer to have a morning wedding, with a simple brunch afterwards. 👍
 
Thanks again, everyone, for your replies! Unfortunately, most of the venues around our parish require that we use their catering. The only option where we could bring our own food, and which is close to the ceremony is the parish hall (which shouldn’t be a problem as i work at the parish part time :).
It’s not the fanciest place, but we could spiff it up.
So, right now, we’re leaning towards having a deli buffet served after the wedding (around 2 or 3pm), or else one of your suggestions, (like the cake and champagne, cheese and wine, etc.).
SO, here’s another question for you all…
We’ve established that there will be no formal meal, and that we would like to have a cocktail party-type of reception. What could guests do btwn the ceremony, and the reception?
I know many people have a cocktail party before the formal sit-down dinner, but since we’re not having one, should we wait until we return from pics before whipping out the food? You see, we really don’t want to see each other for pics before the ceremony, and we also don’t want to take them too long after the ceremony because the party and I will probably get shiny looking (with makeup, and all), we could get dirty, etc etc…
cheerio!
 
My advice is no hard liquor, even if someone else donates it all.
If picture-taking isn’t too long, have the snacky stuff out when the guests get there and have the more main dish stuff put out when you get there (since no one will want to dish out without/before the bride and groom).

BTW, there is a real limit to how many posed shots you are really going to want. Assuming your photography budget is limited, be sure to get lots of candids of your guests, especially family. Friends and family with digital cameras would be an inexpensive option.
 
treehugger, i would reconsider having a break between the end of the ceremony and the reception. i would just put “reception immediately following” on the invitation-insert (such as an RSVP card, if that’s what you will require–which will save you $ for food cost and planning).

also, our professional photographer set us straight on the whole “we don’t want to see each other beforehand” scenario, too. he was very blunt and just said, “well guys, do you want to look your absolute best or not? do you want to celebrate with the adrenalin of the moment right after the ceremony, or do you want to go stand at the altar and pose for a bunch of pictures when your friends and families are elsewhere?” he ended up being totally right on. both my husband and i got pretty teary during our ceremony (definitely wear waterproof mascara!) and it was really a blessing that all the posed formal shots were out of the way.

although my husband and i had a caterer, you could easily recruit a few friends or cousins to set up the buffet before the wedding. my husband and i had a 2pm wedding, and set up (with the florist) began at 9am and the caterer came in at 11am with her crew. it was such a blessing to have so many friends and family pitching in, besides the professionals–getting dressed took FOREVER–way longer than my husband and i (or the bridal party) had anticipated. you definitely want to take that into account. (as well as hair appointments–if you do that, they usually run over, and you have to take the transportation time into account too.)

i have had friends who have had breaks between their weddings and receptions, and you often lose a lot of people in the translation. guests go home because they get hungry and/or bored. just invite everyone down immediately (put on some music, make some mix cds if you’re not going to have a DJ) and have drinks and snack stuff out while they mingle.

then you come down, get announced, maybe dance to your first dance? and the reception begins 🙂
 
I dunno about not having hard liquor. I’m a beer drinker, so it wouldn’t bother me really, but I have some friends who hate the taste of beer, and generally get mixed drinks when we go out. Plus, so many people are on the atkins diet, that they can’t have most kinds of alcohol, but can have vodka and jack daniels. You could just opt to have hard alcohol thats low in alchohol content for midori sours and such.
 
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Princess_Abby:
treehugger, i would reconsider having a break between the end of the ceremony and the reception. i would just put “reception immediately following” on the invitation-insert (such as an RSVP card, if that’s what you will require–which will save you $ for food cost and planning).

i have had friends who have had breaks between their weddings and receptions, and you often lose a lot of people in the translation. guests go home because they get hungry and/or bored. just invite everyone down immediately (put on some music, make some mix cds if you’re not going to have a DJ) and have drinks and snack stuff out while they mingle.
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I agree. DH and I had an 11am wedding immediately followed by a luncheon. The guests went on ahead and snacked on the fruit and cheese that had been set out, and the lunch buffet went out when we arrived at the hall after our photographs. The reception was pretty much done by 3:30 that afternoon. It was great for my cousins with kids because they could bring the children and not worry about sitters and late nights, and great for my husband’s relatives who live two hours away. They were able to drive in that morning and drive back home before nightfall. We actually received a lot of “thank you’s” from friends and relatives for not tying up the entire day with a big gap between the wedding and reception.

It also saved us a lot of money to have a luncheon because no one expects the food to be as elaborate as a dinner, and most people didn’t drink more than a glass of wine or one beer with lunch. We got a price break on the hall as well because it wasn’t a Friday or Saturday night.
 
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TreeHugger:
What could guests do btwn the ceremony, and the reception?

should we wait until we return from pics before whipping out the food?
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Glad to hear that you’re giving up the “pictures between the ceremony and the reception” idea. It has been pointed out that you will lose guests in between. In my experience these days (though probably not with a wedding like yours) many people show up at the party but not the church. Ew! Beyond unacceptable. Makes you want to stamp their hand in church as a pass to the reception!

Anyway, you might also re-think the photography thing. Those pictures are nice but do you REALLY get out that wedding album very often? Nah. Just sits there like a $4000 table decoration. My cousin took all our pictures (only 3 or 4 in the church because I didn’t want intrusions in the ceremony) and gave us the album of snapshots as a wedding present. Cost him about $30 (30 years ago. Today it might run $100). Trust me. It’s all the memory you need and you won’t keep your guests waiting.
 
btw, Sullivansoul is my fiance…
You could probably tell by his post lol
 
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TreeHugger:
btw, Sullivansoul is my fiance…
You could probably tell by his post lol
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Congratulations you two. Might I suggest a variance on the theme. We didn’t quite do potluck, but something similar. We purchased the meat from WalMart and lined out the other stuff with a few family members. We had a the choice between a bigger wedding or a down payment and chose the later.
 
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